If he doesn't like to read, I would definitely get him to incorporate daily listening to the radio program in his program of recovery. This is in addition to everything else.

Doormat_No_More is exactly right. If you are both motivated and you STAY motivated, you should be able to work right through those and do EVERYTHING they say.

If you try and falter, then the accountability program is the key to keeping both of you motivated.

We read aloud to one another. My wife, too, didn't want to "read" the material at first, but reading it aloud together & discussing it is a totally different experience.

H and I also read it aloud. It worked out really well, because we could stop and talk about sections right then and there. It gave us some nice time together and it kept us on track with the reading. We just read about maybe 20 minutes each night and completed the workbook pages together as well.

How are you both doing? Can you update us soon? I just listened to your April and December radio shows.

You FWH is very similar to mine, but mine still won't come home yet. He is still fuming (raging) mad over EXPOSURE, which killed the affair. Now he wants to divorce thinking he can chase her once he is single.

My WH has the same type of family as your FWH (adulterers).

What made you FWH finally come home to work on it?

Hey sweetie, I heard you on the radio show too! What a great resource for us all! So we are doing well, better than I expected at this point. Still feels a little bit like a roller coaster, but more like a kiddie version, not the six flags style! He is doing a lot of the heavy lifting and has embraced MB. (really wish I didnt mention it during exposure cause it was A LOT of work to get him onboard!) So what really helped was taking a step back from his family, they just didnt offer the right kind of support. (father in law communicating with OW, gross!) FWH basically missed his.family, our kids are 8 and 11, they would not tolerate another woman/man in our lives. Exposing to the kids was critical! Also, I think he hit rock bottom after the 2nd affair and

Realized her was going to lose everything. I was sooo close to Plan B, but he came home right before. (I do feel like my Plan A was too long, he may have come home sooner but he was a cake eater and I felt physically sick/sad/crazy and was a difficult person when he did come home) much better now thank God! How is wayturd? I cannot find your thread, thinking of you!

Thanks for the update. My thread is gone because my situation was unique with the military. I am still on reading and studying.

Wayturd is still running from his four kids and I. It is a sad situation, and I hope he is missing us and wanting to do what is right soon. I just pray incessantly, and try to keep hope alive.

I take hope in your situation because I believe your FWH and mine have many similarities. I worked diligently to clean up my side of the fence, and this has helped my self esteem tremendously.

A quick question - what did your FWH say about how he felt you were critical pre-A? Did he bring that up when he came home, or was that just an excuse to justify his adultery?

I have to see Wayturd in court the first week of February. He hasn't seen my weightloss (Because of Plan B), which was dramatic (weighing in today at 125 pounds), and I plan to wear a tight leather dress with my stiletto heels. We'll see if that gets his attention.

Many prayers for you and your family. I am happy your FWH is making you feel safe. Your marriage is going to be so spectacular and your kids will be so greatful for this!!!

God Bless Tough~

You are going to look HOT and it sounds like that is a huge need for him...you go girl! That is amazing! I guarantee he will notice Your new confidence! I am thinking of you and hope wayturd hits rock bottom very soon!!! As for my husbands criticisms of me, elements were true but greatly exxagerated because of his affair fog. I have always been critical of his family, deservedly lol. However, biting my tongue about them only helps, I cant control their lifestyle!

TS - Hey Sweetie, why did your WH still speak to her up until October?

How is his fog now? How long did it last after October?

Hi PI! So he "broke up" gag! with her early July by phone. She continued to pursue so he sent email end of July. Things settled, he moved home. She started texting and emailing (before he got new cell # and blocked email) so we sent NO Contact letter in September and changed numbers etc. He thought breaking up was enough, it wasnt, not even close, she returned to sender NC letter so I put it on her car and she called cops lol. So his last response to her was the break up email in July and no contact letter in September. In October she began contacting his Dad via Facebook, so we got an attorney to write no contact letter. What a mess, she is such a pathetic piece of crap! He had his ONS in July at the same time so obviously OW #1 wasnt very special.

The fog lasted a couple months, not sadness over her cause he really wanted to get out, but he wrestled with guilt, depression, losing friends, not living the single life, my anger, kids anger etc. etc. Rock bottom (July) was BAD. By late August the worst of the bad attitude aka withdrawal was dwindling (he had been drinking more frequently to replace OW I guess) After that, he came around and was totally willing, EP's in place, trying hard but didnt want to do MB (thought it was crazy when I exposed.) We did regular counseling, marriage retreat, started a program called Torn Asunder etc. but I kept pushing for MB.

Ok, after much consideration, I am going to ask the mods to remove my thread. I have reread it and each time it makes me sooo ANGRY for what we went through. Rehashing the affair is not part of recovery and I need to move on! I will continue to post, but I dont have the self-control to not look back on my thread and relive the nightmare of both of our affairs! I am CaliSun now (cause OW wont be able to access my thread, I never was from Texas!):)

This thread is now locked at the member's request.