I don't know yet.

You asked what to do DG. See above for Step 1. It may also be the answer in getting those pics deleted before they become circulated and seen by many perverted people

I have thought about what I did to other people and will probably be in my thoughts forever and I am willing to do something about it. [/quote]

Well maybe you should stop worrying about the consequences to you. Yes your picture may end up all over the internet, yes you may be humiliated on facebook and elsewhere (by the way, you need to never be on facebook again), but you chose to actions that will bring that about. Your husband and the wife of your POSOM (piece of sh*t other man) did not choose the emotional violence you have dealt them.

So focus on the innocent victims of you.

I would stop with the pity party first. Call the OM's wife - while you are with your husband - and tell the OM's wife what you have done. Give her the facts about your affair and promise you will never speak to her husband again.

Then send the OM a no contact letter that is written by you and your husband and mailed by your husband. [I will post a sample below]

Tell your friends and family about the affair and explain to them that you can't attend any gatherings that include this couple.

Affair proof your marriage by ending all opposite sex friendships. Cancel your facebook account and give your husband full and complete access to your email accounts, cell phones, everything.

Commit to using this program to create a happy, satisfying marriage for both of you.

here


[from SAA, pg 58]

OW, I want you to know that out of respect and love for my wife and children, I have come to realize that I must never see or talk to you again. My relationship with you was a cruel indulgence that BS did not deserve. While I cannot completely repay BS for the pain I caused her, I will do my best to become the husband she has been missing. I care a great deal for my family and I would not want to do anything to risk their happiness. I will not make any further contact with you and I do not want you to make any contact with me. Please respect my desire to end our relationship.

Sincerely, XXXXX

I bit my tongue on this one. But had thought since you were so proud of your anatomy, maybe he should upload it to your **EDIT**. Exactly how would that make you feel? You are Filipino, right? First off. If you want to keep your family. Use english when talking to friends while your husband is around. Obviously you speaking philipino over the phone will be a major trigger. Complete transparency is required. And next time you think of romance in philipines, think of Olongapo or Subic Bay. Because that's who you are if you cheat on your husband.

Cut it out.
We do not find your self pity useful or admirable. Saying these "Oh pitiful me" things will not help your marriage recovery.

I said:


You responded with :


Today.
Do this today.

There's no point in doing anything else until this is done.
Then write a No Contact letter with your husband.
Then confess to your family and friends. It will be good for you.
No self pity is needed. You did this to you, no one did it to you. Now suck it up and make it right.

In case it hasn't already been said, this wasn't "almost sexual." It was sexual. Start being honest with yourself.

As a husband of a woman whose deviant former adultery partner owns many videos of my wife bj'ing and at least one topless pic, Im always interested in the stories of girls volunteering to email themselves naked to guys not their husbands.

Now, OMW in my case swears all videos and that pic are deleted, Id be willing to stake money all of it exists in a computer somewhere.

To defend my wife, she knew nothing of the videos and the deviant had an equal amount of another girl performing on him so its cleary HIS thing. But, she did send the picture of her boobs. She had the foresite not to include her face in it.

In the world I live where every detail supercedes the prior detail of the A in my angst, a digital record existing of my wife of doing another guy is way up there.

Do yourself a favor, when you get randy and need some affection or loving or want to explore digital nude photography or perhaps live action video in the bedroom, do it with your husband.

You have cheapened yourself to a great degree.

But, I can tell you, in this thing you get to claim temporary insanity and can rebuild it. Im doing it and my wife is coming from a darker place.

So you have been hiding this relationship from your BH for the last year. You have told us you secretly texted, emailed and talked to this guy and sent him nude photos.

Have you met with him at all in the last year? If so, where and when and how many times?

deceptivegirl,

One thing that Wayward Spouses often do is only fess up to what they have been caught doing, thinking that concealing more information (ie, lying) is easier to do so than hurting their Betrayed Spouse any further.

This couldn't be further from the truth. The lies hurt as much as the betrayal. Please tell your BH everything about what happened with this man today. Don't leave anything out. If you think to yourself for one minute that it would be better to keep that part to yourself, then that is your clue that you need to tell him.

I am going to be honest with you: I find it very hard to believe that this is someone you have been having an EA (emotional affair) with for the past year and that nothing physical happened.

The worst nightmare that I have - pictures of me topless all over the internet.

Your nightmare is of no particular interest to us here. Your BH's nightmare is very much our concern! You did what you did and must accept the consequences.

What is POSOM?

Piece of Sh!+ Other Man

dg, it is great that you SAY you are willing to undo your actions and pay your BH just compensation but you will only start getting somewhere here when you DO it.

You and your h need to sit down and call the OMW immediately and answer all her qs TRUTHFULLY (dont bother leaving out sexual contact/anything if it happened, the truth will out and then you will have lost your last chance)

Write the NC letter we have given ou so your h can mail it.

Those are the actions of a repentant person.

Seriously ??? you need help?? What ,are like 5 years old?

DG, would you be willing to take a polygraph to confirm to your BH that you are being totally honest with him regarding your faithfulness?

DG, evidently the thought of having to take polygraph has refreshed your memory. Bricks has just explained to us that you have decided to come clean(er) with him.

You need to understand that you cannot torture your husband by leaking information about the affair to him! You might as well tie him down and poke him every 10 seconds with a needle!

IF Bricks chooses to remain in this marriage (and that's a big IF right now) you need to whatever it takes to help him feel safe around you. That includes HONESTLY and COMPLETELY answering any question he has about the affair! What were you thinking, deceiving your husband this way in the first place, and then lying about it! IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU, DECEPTIVE GIRL. IT'S ALL ABOUT THE VICTIM - YOUR HUSBAND.

Trickle truth is massively hard for a BS to deal with.

It is worse than subjecting him to the A.

ALL truth must be given in one go, without ANY thought of how it will affect you.

If I were you I would write everything down - a complete timeline of the A including ALL pertinent facts and give it to him as a display of radical honesty.

Tell him you care about him having the truth more than you care about what will happen to you.

Then just pray you havent screwed this up by being deceptive.

I cant beleive you called this thread 'almost sexual'.

Can you have it changed, click the notify button at the bottom of this post and ask the mods to do it.

It cant be good for your BH to see this title when he comes on here. It is also being deceptive to MB forum members, which is a bad idea if you want us to help you.

To help you we need the truth, ok?

I had doubts whenever I seen "almost sexual". My first thoughts were that is like "almost pregnant". In confessing to an affair the number one rule is honesty if the marriage has any chance of survival.