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I don�t think there is a need to live like a prisoner. All her allegations have been shot down and she�s lost all credibility.

The more normal you look, the better. Just live and spend your time with your kids as normal.

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What advice is your counselor giving you about the case?

I am sure he/she/they get this kind of allegation quite often. (I mean, it is very common nowadays in custody fights)

Are you getting a plan of action from them?
So they feel there is credibity/threat to your case because of this?

My brother had a simlar issue during his divorce. His atty
Set up interviews (and did the recording and followups) and
blew FSIL out of the water in court.

She did not get disciplined in court, tho..(she should have)but it really made her look bad in front of the judge, Protective Services and Friend of the Court.

I made sure this info was given to teachers and principal of son's school, too._ Her name bacame mud, and she was not encouraged to voulenteer after.

Tried to say child was "afraid" of his father.. did not want to visit his father

Things like videos of son gleefully running into his fathers place (--dated during the visit that right after she testified the kid cried in her car for minutes -- BEGGING her not to force him to go in.)

Ahhhh. Wayturds suck. Even xwt's.

Last edited by barbiecat; 10/07/11 07:28 AM.

Me; W 46
Him; H 46

2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
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Originally Posted by helpthelostdads
I don�t think there is a need to live like a prisoner. All her allegations have been shot down and she�s lost all credibility.

The more normal you look, the better. Just live and spend your time with your kids as normal.

Exactly. She has no credibility with the judge, DFS, the school, and the kid's counselors. DD6's counselor used to be a DFS investigator too and she is more worried about the emotional fallout with DD6 going through the process last week.

For the custody case, most of our evidence is gathered - the only thing we lack is a mental health evaluation on her which we are requesting.

Worst case for me is we keep status quo for custody.


Me BH 35 WW 36
Married 1998
DS 2002
DD 2005
D Day 1 7/28/08
D Day 2 8/19/08

Divorce Final 3/19/2009
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There's a danger for men of legislative over reach and over doing it in court in terms of going after the other parent. That's what she is doing right now.

So it's best for PSUB to look normal and let her look like the crazy one, which is what is happening.

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Originally Posted by helpthelostdads
There's a danger for men of legislative over reach and over doing it in court in terms of going after the other parent. That's what she is doing right now.

So it's best for PSUB to look normal and let her look like the crazy one, which is what is happening.

I agree. This pair of wayward dimwits do not possess the tactical ability to win this game no matter how they play it. Reacting to them only hurts his case. They've already buried themselves...so don't help them dig themselves out. BE the sympathetic figure. Men that win in custody disputes GET custody awarded to them almost benevolently...they rarely, if ever win when they DEMAND/INSIST UPON custody.

Sidenote: If xWW had any smarts she'd have pursued an affair with a 60+ year old Texan driving an Allante at the outset of this instead of this broke loser POSOM. He could have then sold the car to pay (errr....bribe) out of state pit-bull attorney's and profit seeking counselors in order to alienate you. Absent the Allante, quite a few more years of life experience and divorce/custody battle experience from two prior divorces, our old friend LiARRY and POSOM are basically the same guy. Just ask POSOM and I bet he, too, THINKS he's the hero of the story, when, in fact (as you know), your kids (and wife for that matter) are none of his dang business. I think you're safe but I pray posom never gets the chance, in say 12-15 years, to ask your/his [barf] step kids (who by then wouldn't know the difference) if they regretted him doing "what he had to do" [barf] to "save" them from you.

OM Step-dads = pond scum
They are NEVER heroes
Real heroes...Real friends...keep their pants on
There is no justification or rationalization
They can never make a wrong, right.

Mr. W


FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered

"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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Originally Posted by MrWondering
Originally Posted by helpthelostdads
There's a danger for men of legislative over reach and over doing it in court in terms of going after the other parent. That's what she is doing right now.

So it's best for PSUB to look normal and let her look like the crazy one, which is what is happening.

I agree. This pair of wayward dimwits do not possess the tactical ability to win this game no matter how they play it. Reacting to them only hurts his case. They've already buried themselves...so don't help them dig themselves out. BE the sympathetic figure. Men that win in custody disputes GET custody awarded to them almost benevolently...they rarely, if ever win when they DEMAND/INSIST UPON custody.

As Sun Tzu says, when your enemy is destroying themselves, let them. ExWW and POSOM have no strategy.

POSOM is a bum - no other way around it. As such, he lives day to day and things nothing about a week, month, or year down the road. He has convinced exWW that's the way to go. Bad for her, good for me.

Her whole strategy in the last month is reflective of that.

1. PFA - all of her allegations do not even meet the definition of abuse. Yes it got the kids away from me for a week so she can brainwash them. But, since it was dismissed, it would have backfired at the custody hearing two weeks later. It did nothing to help her case and probably would have hurt it.

2. The allegations. I think her plan was to have them hanging over my head at the custody hearing thus giving the judge no choice. Allegations that serious are fast tracked and she did not anticipate things being cleared up in less than a week. S

3. She never anticpated the fallout. She lied to the school, and made a donkey of herself in front of DFS and the Deputy Attorney General. DFS and the school are now our key witnesses for the custody hearing. Her best witness is POSOM.


Me BH 35 WW 36
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DD 2005
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D Day 2 8/19/08

Divorce Final 3/19/2009
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And...

He doesn't own an Allante.

Lucky you.


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I've been away for a couple weeks and I have just read up on things. Looks like you're doing much better than I anticipated!


One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger

I will not spend my life this way.
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Bump for Mr A


Me -BS 40
Him - FWH 34 (dtl)
3 D-Days from 12/25/10 to 01/06/11
NC - 01/09/11
02/20/12 done beating my head on that wall.
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ON Oct 4, we have the custody hearing.

How you doing?

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Originally Posted by Pepperband
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ON Oct 4, we have the custody hearing.

How you doing?

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Hi all,

We had the custody hearing on Thursday. All in all, a gigantic waste of time. I had mentioned earlier that our plan was to keep status quo - the burden of proof for both of us was way too high. hte law in Delaware is in order to change custody within two years after a court order, you have to show there is imminent physical or emotional harm done to the child if the current arrangement stays. After two years, the burden drops to where the benefits of the move will outweigh the harm done to the children by changing the custody arrangement. The two year thing is important - I'll get to that later.

Anyways, exWW wanted the kids to live with her and go to school where she lives two hours away in another state. She said her proposal would have no effect on the 50/50 shared custody arrangement. Her proposal was for me to have them from after school on Friday to Sunday evening every weekend during the school year. Then, every other week during the summer. So, basically, fuzzy math on her part. The kicker was she wanted in the agreement that all children's activities would take place in her town. The judge blasted her for this. Basically saying your proposal sole intent was to eliminate PSUBIKER from the kid's life and give you total control over what they do when he exercises his parenting time - she said her intentions were to sign the kids up for sports every Saturday and show horses on Sunday. Which means, I would be making a 3.5 hour round trip commute with the kids every day I had them on the weekend or have to just get a hotel room every week. The judge pointed that fact out to her as well.

She then went into the rant that the kids don't like me, they are affraid of me, it will be to my benefit not to have the kids so I can concentrate solely on work. (I.E work hard so she can get more child support) When you get down to it, I would work every week, have the kids ever weekend. Basically, a slave to her whims and a free babysitter for the weekends. No time for PSUBIKER. The judge said her proposal was very selfish.

She also said the kids were struggling in school, and that changing custody would give them a chance to get their grades up. Basically my fault in her testimony. Problem? During cross examination, my lawyer admitted into evidence the kid's report cards where it showed the kids were getting all A's and B's. For her rebuttal, she entered in DS9's report card from last year where he got 1 C the entire year to show he was struggling. The judge said the kids were making excellent grades and by the teacher's comments, they are excelling in school. This kills her credibility. It shows she really is not concerned with the kids.


We presented her arrest report when her boyfriend was arrested. She said:

- he was found not guilty because my PTSD caused her to have flash backs imagining that it was PSUBIKER assaulting her.

- my attorney then said: "Even though you called the police to report that he was committing a crime against you, he injured you, you testified on his behalf at the trial to his benefit?

-ExWW -" yes. The police officer wrote down everything wrong on the police report. I am appalled that POSOM's reputation is being slandered here"

-Judge- "POSOM's criminal history is just as relevant as yours and PSUBIKER's criminal history. I am required by law to know this information"

-My Lawyer: "You stated earlier that you want PSUBIKER to participate with you at all the kids activities. Yet, you filed 4 PFA's, had him arrested once, and filed to complaints with DFS. You are not really scared of PSUBIKER, are you?"

-ExWW - "unintelligible gibberish"

After exWW testified, my lawyer moved the court to dismiss her petition. The judge agreed and dismissed it. I never took the stand. The judge specifically told her she offered no evidence as to the benefit of the move for the kids - her testimony is not evidence.

The bad news is she can file another petition for custody next week. Why? The previous order was signed on Jan 27, 2010. So, the burden of proof drops. I don't expect it to end, but she is up poop creek without a paddle at this point. Why?

- The judge pointed out that she VOLUNTARILY moved to [edit] because of her horse business that she testified was losing money. He was very specific that the kid's nor myself should have their lives disrupted because of her choice.

- He also pointed out that the current custody order was only contingent with her living at her friends house in the DE on the days the kid's had school. SHe testified she is no longer maintaining that arrangement. Again, he pointed out that she was the one who made it difficult. My lawyer says if she files and she says she lives in MD, my lawyer will just ask the judge to enforce his previous order.

Family COurt judges get a bum rap at times. My judge is excellent - he quickly saw through her manipulations with her planned arrangement. THe good thing is my state has a one judge, one family policy in family court. He knows the backstory and does not give into exWW's emotional hysteria.


Me BH 35 WW 36
Married 1998
DS 2002
DD 2005
D Day 1 7/28/08
D Day 2 8/19/08

Divorce Final 3/19/2009
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You are your kids' hero.

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Let's see: Your wife has broken a happy marriage, floundered a promising business, destroyed the domestic life of her kids, defrauded the IRS, engaged in the life of a man who is alcoholic and will not pay child support to his own children, and further she has been to a home for anxiety issues...

What will it take to have her put away in a mental institution?


But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
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Originally Posted by imagine
Let's see: Your wife has broken a happy marriage, floundered a promising business, destroyed the domestic life of her kids, defrauded the IRS, engaged in the life of a man who is alcoholic and will not pay child support to his own children, and further she has been to a home for anxiety issues...

What will it take to have her put away in a mental institution?

It will take either her doing something to me or the kids.


Me BH 35 WW 36
Married 1998
DS 2002
DD 2005
D Day 1 7/28/08
D Day 2 8/19/08

Divorce Final 3/19/2009
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I was looking just yesterday to see if I could find an update on your family...apparently, shortly before you wrote this. You've surely been through the wringer, sir, you have indeed. If the judge says he has to know POSOM's criminal history, does (or can) he actually take in into account in determining custody issues? The upside, to me, is that your XW must have left court just as angry and frustrated as usual. Poor gal, she just can't get a break! MrRollieEyes

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Originally Posted by thndrnltng
Poor gal, she just can't get a break! MrRollieEyes

tl

I'd love to give her a break twoxfour

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You need a bigger stick first. That one isn't big enough! rant2

tl

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I can't understand how WW clings so tight to OM that can not provide for her financially well.

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I will NEVER say, " Now I've heard it all"' because every time PSU updates, it is an entirely new crazy scenario.
Thank god about the one family, one judge law. Could you imagine starting over at square one with a new judge?
Holy toot.


Me; W 46
Him; H 46

2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
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