Is divorce worth it? Only you can answer that my friend. Nothing about divorce was right in my eyes, especially having 4 young boys. But now since the divorce, my eyes have been opened to what kind of person WeW really has been for the last several years or more. Lets just say, its not good. I still regret that divorce has happened, but i deal with it and try to get on with my life. Its still very hard for me, but its getting easier. My Ex has turned into the very thing she has always despised..

Yes, divorce was worth it because not divorcing would have been a slow, grueling death of my soul. Had I not kicked XWH out, he would have openly continued his PA (he thought he could do both and make it work ... YIKES). Talk about a toxic environment. I have been divorced 15 months and have put much of the grief behind me although there are still times of worry and stress (not about the loss relationship but more financial).

I may be looking at surgery (will find out this week) which presents problems as I have no family within thousands of miles and my X moved away. There is no one to stay with my DSs should I have to go into the hospital. I have only casual friends where I live; certainly not close enough for me to ask them to take care of my boys. This situation makes me angry at the selfishness of my XWH in abandoning his children in favor of OW.

Could you talk to the parent of one of their friends and see if they would let them stay there? I know if I met someone in this situation, I wouldn't mind helping in the least! And the kids might enjoy it.

That's a good suggestion, kaycstamper, but my situation is complicated somewhat because my older son has Down syndrome and insulin dependent diabetes. His brother does a good job of taking his blood sugar and giving insulin but it's a bit overwhelming for folks who aren't familiar with what he needs. I can't blame them. I, too, was completely overwhelmed when he was diagnosed at age 8.

Oh, wow. That makes it a lot tougher. Have you checked to see if there is some kind of local program that does respite care for families with a child with disabilities?

What state do you live in Reva? What type of surgery are you going to have to have? Some hospitals let the kids stay so that might be an option.

Any programs or people you speak to at your church? Did you also speak to the kids' school teachers?

I was going to suggest church, also Dept. of Human Resources might know of some help available. Would a mother or sister be able to come stay with them and help you out afterwards? It might be a good excuse for a visit!

Likes:
Being independent.
Fully enjoy with friends in on the weekends.
Being able to spend money without discussing it.


Dislikes:
Anyone interfere in my own decisions.

It looks like there is no surgery in my immediate future. My hip is causing serious pain. An MRI revealed nothing out of the ordinary. My chiropractor thought I probably had a herniation that would require surgery. I still have extreme pain at times and will continue seeking answers but avoiding surgery is a big plus!
Thanks for all the good suggestions.

Glad to hear it!!!

I'm glad to hear it too, I'm sure it's a big relief to you!

YAY for you!!!