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p/w already done
evidence safe

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I feel dirty and sick to my stomach. I'm so disgusted.

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You are awesome w4mg. I am so proud. Some day your DD will be also...for doing everything you could to rescue her.


ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008

Recovered

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What now? Trying to remember what I learned here long ago
Love her from a distance?
Be indifferent?
Get forwarding contact info for when she moves?
ETC?

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I would feel pretty sick to my stomach if my own child was shagging a married man. I would let her know how disgusted and disappointed you are.

Will she move out sooner?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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DAMN MM!

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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
I would feel pretty sick to my stomach if my own child was shagging a married man. I would let her know how disgusted and disappointed you are.

Will she move out sooner?


I let her know very clearly and simply. Who know when she'll move. It will be by Sep01 latest.

It staggers me that she could throw it all away so easily and with so little emotion. i felt like shaking her silly (which I would never do in real life). I could barely listen to the sound of her voice.

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What are my next steps?
Does anyone ever hear from Starfish or StillSeeking?

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You are doing the right thing by not enabling her self destructing behavior.
I have been working for a company recently that has a sign in their employee break rooms, posted by loss Prevention hotline for employee theft . It says: "you can't make them honest but you can make them accountable"


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For your next steps I would suggest that you email the marriage builder radio show. The email address is on the marriage builder home page.
All emails are replied to by Dr Harley.
Describe the situation: my daughter is having an affair. I have exposed it and cut her off financially. What else can I do to kill this affair and preserve a relationship with my daughter?

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That's why I'm an advocate, public speaker and part of the accountability coalition. It's a thankless job.

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good idea

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I suspect that your exposure (provided the ww wife actually saw it) would probably KILL this affair.

You say your daughter works for him? Is be a businessman? He will not loose his business in a divorce for a piece of [censored].

That's the truth. Your daughter is probably 100 times more physically attractive than his wife so he is using her. Exposure will probably KILL that.

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Originally Posted by HDW
You say your daughter works for him? Is be a businessman? He will not loose his business in a divorce for a piece of [censored].

That's the truth. Your daughter is probably 100 times more physically attractive than his wife so he is using her. Exposure will probably KILL that.


I never said she works for him. They met in a club 5 months ago. BW is actually quite beautiful. He's such an *()_(*^%&$#%^

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You should be brainstorming to develop strategies to deal with possible developments instead of scrambling when they occur.

Using HDW's forecast as an example: Say exposure kills the affair in the relatively immediate future, and MM kicks D to the skank-curb in an effort to retain his business/marriage. This would leave D without shelter or support. What would you do? What would you do if she's pregnant when that happens?

Before maternal impulses cause you to immediately bring her back into your home, it would be useful to view such actions as giving her a home-base for her NEXT assault on some other woman's marriage. Bear in mind that the mindset and attitudes of D were unacceptable today. Removing MM from the picture would not adjust those factors.

Model your new relationship with D on the Plan B here. No, you will not deal with her. No, you will not communicate with her. She must demonstrate full and complete understanding and compliance with the set of moral behaviors the lack of which caused your distaste leading to her eviction. You can no longer be "mommy" to her.

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Dr Harley addressed your email question on today's Radio Show.

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Dr Harley told her to strive to kill off the affair. Messagve to the daughter should be:

"I care about you and would die for you but you are making the mistake of your life. I am going to try to STOP YOU from making a mistake that is so destructive it will ruin you for life."

In other words, Dr Harley told her to declare WAR on the affair!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Quote
In other words, Dr Harley told her to declare WAR on the affair!
Good job, Dr. H! She can't get better support than that!


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

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What I told my daughter was this: "I love you more than my life, but I don't care how old you are...because if whatever I have to do will stop you from ruining your life, I will do it, even if it means you hate me. I can live with your hating me, so long as you are living a decent and moral life and are safe from the likes of him!"

The OM wanted me to quit calling his wife, so I told him to write my DD a no-contact letter, which he did. He already had one OW, and his wife divorced him about a year later. He got mixed up in drugs, and DD, who has no use for drug users, now realizes how much worse a mess she could have been in!

Oh, and we are now closer than ever! smile


"Your actions are so loud that I can't hear a word you're saying!"

BW M 44 yrs to still-foggy but now-faithful WH. What/how I post=my biz. Report any perceived violations to the Mods.
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Here's DR. Harley's response to your question worried4mygirl.

Radio clip of Worried4MyGirl's question at 11:00 Mark


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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