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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 59
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kimono Offline OP
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h was out for a work related thing, it was probably the first time since i found out a. maritalbiss my thoughts exactly on the whole trust thing & i dont think i will ever fully trust again


Me (BW): 35
WH: 36
Kids: DD7 and DD2
Married 11 years
D Day: 9 Dec 2011
Trying for recovery
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 1,428
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You still haven't told me to butt out. You know me, and after we caught up on the weekend, I am worried. Especially if you are trying to put a brave face on for me.

Passing by here... I am still worried for you K. Tell me to butt out and I will. Meanwhile... I care (and will even if you tell me to butt out of here!).

Please download whatever is necessary to listen to Dr H. If you need help, ask DH who is more IT savvy. These Dr H radio posts linked by BrainHurts have helped me a lot. I need to listen to more of them.

If you don't ask DH... why? Your recovery should be steered by him. Anything that will help you, should help him, therefore help you with building an US.


Me (BW): 35
Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.

WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it.

Plan B has set me free.

"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
Joined: Mar 2012
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kimono Offline OP
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one question I have is, does the thoughts/reminders of A go away?? will I be able to stop the mental images that remind me??


Me (BW): 35
WH: 36
Kids: DD7 and DD2
Married 11 years
D Day: 9 Dec 2011
Trying for recovery
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
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Originally Posted By: kimono
one question I have is, does the thoughts/reminders of A go away?? will I be able to stop the mental images that remind me??
No. They don't go away. There will never be an amnesia moment, where you have nothing to remind you of the affair. If a lobotomy was available for BH's, we'd all be lining up right after D-Day.

But there will come a time when you remember, and it no longer has any power over you. THAT'S the day you're looking for. When that happens varies. It took me about two years. If you are rcovering, those moments of remembering will rapidly drop away because you will have so many new memories that will take precedence.

And - I swear this is true: smile the time is going to come, when you don't think about the A the second you wake up in the morning. The day will come when you realize that it's lunchtime, and you haven't thought once about the affair. I used to think that would be impossible, but it's true. Because the affair will cease to have much power as you recover. Affairs are like that - not much staying power.

Now, if I conjure up images from that horrible time, I just roll my eyeballs. smile


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!

Joined: Mar 2012
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kimono Offline OP
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thank you thats what I needed to hear, was starting to think it would continue to haunt me forever daily. was there something u did to help deal with those moments of reminders, I am a bit stressed at the moment knowing the date they spent in hotel is coming up, footy & sex what more could a man ask for hey!! altho he denies it as being an enjoyable night I dont believe that knowing he practically begged to go, as well as shaving back & other areas for her(i hope i can get passed this 1 so i can enjoy a shaven h)this was supposed to be a night to say good bye to end A


Me (BW): 35
WH: 36
Kids: DD7 and DD2
Married 11 years
D Day: 9 Dec 2011
Trying for recovery
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,310
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Originally Posted By: kimono
thank you thats what I needed to hear, was starting to think it would continue to haunt me forever daily. was there something u did to help deal with those moments of reminders, I am a bit stressed at the moment knowing the date they spent in hotel is coming up, footy & sex what more could a man ask for hey!! altho he denies it as being an enjoyable night I dont believe that knowing he practically begged to go, as well as shaving back & other areas for her(i hope i can get passed this 1 so i can enjoy a shaven h)this was supposed to be a night to say good bye to end A

Here's the follow up show to the BW and WH whom are still struggling because they aren't following the program.
Radio clip of follow up show
Segment #2
Segment #3


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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