If wishes were horses....beggars would ride.

Deal with reality that exists and not the reality you wish you had.

If she doesnt accept your children all the wishing in the world wont make it so.

But you can change the feelings you have for her. And you can have feelings for someone else. Stop seeing her, go through the pain of withdrawal, come out the other side and pick someone who makes your life better next time.

It's that or staying in limbo forever

If she comes around regarding the children, MB principles like POJA, other roadblocks, you can reevaluate.

But I would tell her not to bother contacting you as a friend/anything else etc, unless she means business and will change her approach to the children and will stop with the lovebusters.

She's controlling you becaus you're allowing her to. You're also showing your kids that they are less important than her daughter because she gets to cone over, you pick her up, you allow your gf to control your relationship with your kids, you won't stand up for your kids, and you ignore them so she won't be mad.

You need to get your priorities straight, take care of your kids,and stand up for yourself. Stop letting how she might react control you. You'll be far more attractive to her if you don't constantly cower to her.

Kenny, if it helps you to get past the 'thought of her being with someone else', just think about what a B the poor guy has!

And feel some empathy for him!

Kenny, you could try taking up a hobbie so that you could meet a few more people.

Dancing is good because there are women there too. Salsa, Zouk, something like that are fun if you like earthy rhythms.

See this is my problem. I dont know how exactly to stop letting her do this to me and treating me like this.
This morning she woke up and was in a bad mood. I asked what was wrong and what I had done and she said NOTHING in an angry voice.
I said to her "Can you stop speaking to me and treating me like a bit of $hit" and her reply was "Ohh FFS stop being a whiny little Biatch"......(What makes a woman speak to someone like that
??)
I left her alone and went for a run. When I got back I went and brought us both a coffee. She still hardly spoke to me. I asked her what time she was going out tonight and where too etc and she snapped at me having a go at me saying that I want to know everything. I said umm were in a relationship together and once upon a time you would tell me everything and visa versa so why now do you get angry just because I'm trying to make conversation and show interest in asking what your doing tonight. (NO shes not cheating I know that for a fact)

I just dont get what it is that makes a woman be so nasty to someone that they say they still love. Is it that shes just so angry that we didnt work out and so takes that blame out on me??
Ive asked her if thats it and she says no she just gets moody.
I have a few work mates that said if a woman treated them or spoke to them like she does to me they would have told her where to go a long time ago.
I must admit I think us moving into seperate houses is the best thing that could happen and I think it will be a blessing in disguise eventually.

If she is not cheating, she is your foul-mouthed prize, eh? You want more of that, singleman?

No I dont want more of that. I want her to start showing me a bit of respect like I do to her. It just amazes me that soemone could speak to another human being like that let alone the man she says she loves. We had sex a few days ago and it was very intimate. Thats my point, if we werent having sex and she was never showing me any affection I at least would think shes cheating on me or has someone else. Ive checked though she has no texts phone calls etc coming in at strange times and I know where she is during the day when Im at work etc.
Weve got just over a month until we have to move out so I suppose I just have to start acting like Im not interested in her anymore and start packing my [censored] to move out.

It's more that you can find someone that won't talk to you like a punk because you request that she doesn't speak to disrespectfully and that won't treat your kids like she does. If it were me, I'd ask the kids to come 'over this weekend and spend some time with them.

When I was dating my wife, she thought it was okay to speak to people like that because that's how her parents spoke to each other. I would respond with you something like "stop acting like a f'n bi@#h" and we'd get in these huge fights. Then I got tired of it and simply starting telling her if she was gonna talk to me like that I was gone. She didn't believe me, so I started to pack my stuff. And that's when she told me please not to leave and she'd do better. It took some work and relearning how communication in relationships work.

Why not just move out now? Living with your parents, saving up and building towards a proper future can't possibly be worse than this

Mum has already said she doesn't want me living with her again. And I'm committed to keep paying rent here until our lease expires.

She got home at 4am this morning. Told me about her night out them hopped into bed. I asked if I could cuddle her and she says WHY?? And had the $hits on.
I don't get it. One minute she's cuddling me kissing me all over me and were having sex and getting along great. The next she's a moody biatch.

I said to her that it's obvious she checked out of this relationship awhile ago and that if she did want this to work wouldnt have gone out every weekend for the past 4 but one and that was because we had gone away.
I said to her that she is nice to me for a time then gets angry and takes it out on me and that she has no intentions of trying to make this work and as soon as we move out I know it's over.
She replied with "Yeh I was dillusional to think it could work." and left it at that.


As much as I would love to get out now unfortunately I can't. I know it's over between us. I don't like it but she would never have spoken to me the way she does now. She always wanted to cuddle and kiss and was very affectionate to me. Now she can't stand me.
I just want to try and forget about her and move on but I'm stuck here for a month or two.

Where is she going to go when the lease is up? Can she go there now, and you get a more amicable roommate?


What kind of response did you expect to get from this?

She's looking for a place to rent also. She's putting her ex husbands name down on the lease applications so she has a better chance of getting something.
(I might add that he has told her before that she's a [censored] to me and I'm a nice guy who deserves better)
So if she gets something I could stay here while she moves out but that would still be around 4 weeks away. Our lease expired Oct 15th but we were given 60 days notice so don't have to move out until Nov 15th at the latest.

What did I expect her to say when I asked that??

Well maybe that she was telling the truth that she does want to work things out and she's not just telling me that. She said again this morning that I'm smothering her and not giving her the space she wants.
I said well its hard when one day your all over me and the next font want a bar of me. Then you have a go at me for not showing you any affection and you move the goal posts all the time.
I said you want space fine but don't then come on all over me when it suits you.

Thank you!