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hurray


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Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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thanks BH!

got a call from the diabetes nurse today. my most recent 3-month blood test came back, and i'm at 41! "normal" goes up to 40. i still have to take the meds (boo), but she says i'm eating great! that was a nice uplift after the gym. (the thing about the blood test is that they can catch you if you're lying about what you eat.) she says, "giving up tootsie pops was worth it?" i'm thinking, no, but i guess those giving up all that home baking was!

i got to the gym today, and the trainer says, "you don't look too happy to be here." (in my head): people are *happy* to be here? i just come 'cause i have to!


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wow, we've only been back at school 4 days and i'm already knackered! thank goodness it's a 4 day weekend!

my birthday was this last week, and for the first time ever, H bought me a dress. a stunner of a dress. from a nz designer. expensive. gorgeous. i couldn't believe it! i wore it immediately and got so many compliments! it's lovely. how sweet of him to get that for me.

over the last week we've wallpapered our DDs room, and bought new linens for it (i was totally stoked, because i love getting a good bargain, and i was able to redress the bed, duvet cover, pillow cases & european cases too for a mere $45 [originally over $200] at the clearance sale in our only dept store!). tomorrow we are painting the ceiling, and i'm having some roman blinds made for the windows, because i discovered with the curtains down that the view is astounding without them blocking the space at the ends of the windows. it's all in natural tones now (no teen colour scheme, lol), and looks really welcoming.

H also brought me a lovely large fern from the farmer's market, which i planted today in the backyard. we spent the morning emptying out the spa pool and giving it a good clean, only to discover the pool place isn't open and we can't replace the filter until tuesday! small town living.

so...tonight the speedway starts up for the season, and i just can't bring myself to go. and i'm feeling reticent about that decision. i mean, i'm going in two weeks when it's guy fawkes and there will be fireworks, but today i'm tired, it's really gusty out, and i have no desire to sit for several hours on hard wooden benches (yes, i always bring pillows) when i can stay home, order some indian food, take a bath, and watch "being there," which has been sitting on my desk for about 6 weeks.

shouldn't i be going? or shouldn't H be staying home? i don't know. i mean, i don't have a problem with him going. we've gotten pretty good about saying, "how would you feel if..." he will text me all night about this and that and the other. he will photograph the races, be down in the pits with the drivers, and we go about 1-1/5 hours before racing starts to get our seats. we usually eat our dinner (brought) together, and then i read while he runs around talking to drivers and looking at the cars. i wouldn't really be spending any time with him, which is why it's so uninteresting for me. and it seem like such a waste of money for me to go when it's not my thing.

is that MB? i don't to start that slippery slope to IB, ya know? we are getting great UA....thoughts?


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Happy Belated Birthday, Letty!!!

That's really exciting about the new dress and all of that. So happy things are going so well for you!

As for the speedway thing... well.... as you know, married couples are not supposed to spend nights apart, but you did not mention if it was an overnight thing. If it's not then I don't see a problem with you not going unless there are conditions of the whole experience that led to his previous indiscretions. How does he feel about you not going? If you both agree, are getting in UA time beforehand, and there is nothing there to make an A possible, I don't see a problem.



"The #1 reason why people give up so quickly is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, rather than how far they've gotten."

Me, FBW(46) H, FWH (43)
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D (20)
S (18)
S (16)
Surviving and Thriving since November 2010 thanks to MB!
My Recovery Thread: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2538986#Post2538986
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HappyBirthday belated


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Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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thanks for the birthday wishes, ladies.

sunny, it was just for the evening (here in town; i can hear it from the house, and almost see it from my window), and he actually came home before 9pm, lol, when i wasn't expecting him until 11. there is no connection between this activity and the a, and the people who attend are males, couples, families, and roving bands of younger teens. no hoochie mamas! (though some of those young girls [14-15] dress pretty darn provocatively [well, very short skirts; nz girls do not dress like usa girls]; i feel sorry for them - they must be FREEZING!) i'm relieved to have confirmation it's not an issue. laugh

H doesn't mind if i don't go. he knows it's not interesting to me. and we spent the whole day together. we generally average 30hrs/week UA time, except for the odd busy week here & there. summer will be different, and i'm a little apprehensive about it, but we've already started POJAing our summer activities.

well, my birthday was lovely, but i have even bigger news: my only child, my 19yo DD, who is in her first year of study in her trade, just won FIRST PLACE at the national professional org's awards, and not in the student/novice category, but in the professional category! we couldn't believe it! i am so proud of her. there was a lovely article/interview with her in the paper. what a star! hurray

she has been bugging me for an iphone for xmas (4S, not the expensive new one), and i'm going to try to swing the money to get her that as a congrats gift instead.

side note: we do not have all the lovely phone plans here. good cell phones cost about $800-1K (or more!). the new iphone is $1049/16gig. and on my plan, which i pay $40/mo for, i get a mere 2000 texts (do i need to say i don't use these?), 60 minutes calling, and a puny 50MB data (i know, it's unbelievable). i can try to get her a 4S off ebay, i hope.

and that's the news. it's now the weekend, so i'm off to have so fun & relaxation!


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Congratulations to your wonderful daughter!!!! That's awesome! I'm not surprised. The apple sounds like it does not fall very far from the tree. smile

That's crazy about your phones. GEEESH!!!! My older 2 have the 4S and love it.

30 hours a week of UA time - that's certainly sufficient. smile Good for you!

Hope your weekend is fantastic.


"The #1 reason why people give up so quickly is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, rather than how far they've gotten."

Me, FBW(46) H, FWH (43)
M - 21 yrs & counting
D (20)
S (18)
S (16)
Surviving and Thriving since November 2010 thanks to MB!
My Recovery Thread: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2538986#Post2538986
My Original Thread: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2457141&page=1

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weekend is a go - weather nice today; warm, with high cloud. tomorrow is supposed to rain :O(

here is a thought i have been considering since i found MB:

i am considering selling my horse. i hardly have time to ride her, and i know she's keen to get out. another girl at work has two daughters in pony club...but only 1 pony. my horse loves pony club, and as she is older, she is calm and bombproof (not horribly spirited/badly behaved with bucking/rearing/etc) and perfect for a young rider.

HOWEVER i am very torn about this. i love riding. i love my horse. no matter how crappy i feel, mentally or physically, getting out on my horse for a morning of riding in this beautiful country makes everything right. i can ride at the beach, i can ride in the hills of a farm; my options are limitless.

i've been horse-mad all my life. i can't remember a time i didn't beg my parents for a horse, and i got my first one on my 11th birthday. i ride both english and western, but am too old and fragile now to ride competitively. i only trek with other horsey ladies.

my H has his cars, i have my horse. in the past, when i have had time to ride, we schedule our separate interests at the same time (he'll go to some car thing/work on a car, and i'll ride). my husband hates horses, unfortunately. how nice it would be to ride with him! he will come harrow the horse paddock and feed the sheep. and once he held my horse for me while i treated her (he held the lead from outside the paddock, lol. great big strong bloke, outside!).

before i started this job 6 years ago, i rode 2-3 times a week. however, when my knee went, and later i had the replacement, i rode less & less. i haven't ridden since february, though i see her every week. i am keen to get out during the summer. when school is in, i find that i am exhausted on the weekends, and/or have too much work to do to give hours away on what seems at times like a selfish pursuit. yet, when my paddock mate can get me out, i have such a good time.

part of me feels that if i give up riding, a part of me will be gone. like i've given up everything i enjoy. and i think i will be resentful, even if i say i want to do it because my horse deserves to be with someone who will ride much more often. what to do...i don't know. i think i'll see how much riding i get in over our summer break and take it from there.


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That IS quite the dilemma, Letty. I know if it were me, I'd be too attached to give up the horse. frown I've ALWAYS loved horses! Would love to have one! Having always lived in the city, never have been able to manage it. I used to ride at a local place when I was in my teens though - every weekend.

Is there some sort of in-between solution you could come up with? That you "loaned her out" with still being able to have her part time???


"The #1 reason why people give up so quickly is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, rather than how far they've gotten."

Me, FBW(46) H, FWH (43)
M - 21 yrs & counting
D (20)
S (18)
S (16)
Surviving and Thriving since November 2010 thanks to MB!
My Recovery Thread: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2538986#Post2538986
My Original Thread: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2457141&page=1

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you're so good at brainstorming! H is trying to bribe me - if i sell the horse & horse float, i can have a new car, lol. i will offer that to my colleague and see what she says.


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Originally Posted by Letty
you're so good at brainstorming! H is trying to bribe me - if i sell the horse & horse float, i can have a new car, lol. i will offer that to my colleague and see what she says.

Well, the bribe may or may not be worth it. I mean, if you do that and your heart is not enthusiastic, you will end up resenting him for "making" you give up your horse. The decision needs to be something you are ready for.


"The #1 reason why people give up so quickly is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, rather than how far they've gotten."

Me, FBW(46) H, FWH (43)
M - 21 yrs & counting
D (20)
S (18)
S (16)
Surviving and Thriving since November 2010 thanks to MB!
My Recovery Thread: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2538986#Post2538986
My Original Thread: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2457141&page=1

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guess what? i sat next to em at briefing yesterday morning, and she suggested i keep the horse at her place for the girls, and ride it when i feel like it! hahaha. ask and it will be provided! haven't made my decision yet though.


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Originally Posted by Letty
guess what? i sat next to em at briefing yesterday morning, and she suggested i keep the horse at her place for the girls, and ride it when i feel like it! hahaha. ask and it will be provided! haven't made my decision yet though.

Well - that does sound like a decent solution - if you're ready for that step.


"The #1 reason why people give up so quickly is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, rather than how far they've gotten."

Me, FBW(46) H, FWH (43)
M - 21 yrs & counting
D (20)
S (18)
S (16)
Surviving and Thriving since November 2010 thanks to MB!
My Recovery Thread: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2538986#Post2538986
My Original Thread: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2457141&page=1

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Letty, make sure you decide up front whom provides vet care and shoes for the horse.

I feel your pain as I had at least 1 horse all my life and had to give it up(money of course). BUT I finally found a place close by that you do an hourly ride but it is not the normal head-to-tail- rental and I love it. It is much more cost effective then owning your own and you still get to canter and trot when you want and they have a wonderfull mountain to explore.



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thanks LD. i was thinking about shoes just yesterday. and she's allergic to grass (hahahaha), so sometimes vet costs do come up (steroid shots and the like). we will have to discuss it. i'm still going to wait out our summer and see how it goes. no quick moves. i used to be a person who liked to make firm decisions quickly. i now understand the benefits of biding my time (who'da guessed?). when in doubt, do nothing smile


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i feel like the tide has really turned, and that things are just getting better and better. this week we had plans for saturday, but on friday, H asked if instead of our plans, how would i feel about going to the food & wine festival? this is something he *never* would have gone to previously, and i was floored, especially since he asked it in a "going on a date" way, which seemed really romantic to me. gave me butterflies! i pointed out that the F&W would have a cover charge, and that each booth would cost even more money, but he was totally fine with that, to my astonishment (him being a penny-pincher). we went and had a great time, and even the difficulty in finding parking wasn't an issue. the day was gorgeous, the food good, and the company lovely. we ate sitting looking over the water (it was on the beach). next weekend we're off to lake taupo for powercruise (an australian car event, where you can drive your car on the track any way you want). no, my car is not ready :O( but it's nearly there.

this MB thing really does work. i feel that our relationship, the way we communicate, has improved so much. even though he was so resistant in the beginning, he has come around and is appreciating the benefits that *he* gets out of MB.

on the downside, my visit with the nurse this week was depressing. she said i'm eating all good stuff, but that i eat too much (*and* i'm still hungry!).

what is too much, you ask? an individual pot of yogurt is too much. "have you actually measured how much is in one?" well, no. what sane person measures out food that's already in individual servings? (i should point out this is low-fat, low-sugar natural yogurt, not that artificially coloured/flavoured stuff you get in the states.) "how many strawberries did you eat yesterday?" well, between morning tea and after dinner, about a cup. "that's far too many in one day." geez - they're frickin' strawberries!! and we only get them for 2-3 months out of the year!

the whole experienced left me depressed, so friday i had kinda a FU day - had a bite of carrot cake at morning tea, and a coke with my lunch (oooohhhh, i'm a radical!)! but then i went to the gym, too. but man, i'm telling you, those actresses must eat nothing at all to maintain their skinny frames. i'm just a normal girl, and i'm eating 1/2 c cereal for breakfast (fat-free milk), homemade tiny whole-bran muffin w/yogurt and strawbs for morning tea, a sandwich (whole grain bread, 2 slice meat, lettuce, mustard) and apple for lunch, large salad, veges and some kind of meat at dinner, strawbs for dessert, and an orange at 8.30 pm, and IT'S TOO MUCH!!! argh!!!

as a person who loves cooking, the textures and tastes of food, and who shows love with food preparation, this is really hard. i experiment a lot with recipes (no sugar, very little butter/oil [for instance, there's only 1/3 c oil in my homemade bran muffins, for a yield of 12 small muffins], lots of herbs/spices for flavour)...i just don't know what else to do except starve and feel like food is not an enjoyable part of my life. bah. this just makes me want to cry. but i guess it's do or die, right? so suck it up, letty. i'm going to make enchiladas (low-cheese, chicken, corn tortillas) for dinner on wednesday, and i just know she's going to say that 2 are too many :sigh: i am going to bring a corn tortilla with me. you can't buy them here, so i'm hoping when she sees one, she'll understand why i ate two (i also photograph my food for her so she doesn't think i'm cheating/lying).

anyhow, that's my weekly update! off now to prep sunday roast. ::evil cackle::

Last edited by Letty; 11/10/12 10:20 PM.

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whoops, forgot to add that maybe, instead of going to fiji, we are looking at staying in a top-notch romantic hotel in dunedin for 4-5 days before school starts in january. while i've been to christchurch 3 times, it's always been for work. the two of us have never been to the south island together and for fun. yay!


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Originally Posted by Letty
i feel like the tide has really turned, and that things are just getting better and better. this week we had plans for saturday, but on friday, H asked if instead of our plans, how would i feel about going to the food & wine festival? this is something he *never* would have gone to previously, and i was floored, especially since he asked it in a "going on a date" way, which seemed really romantic to me. gave me butterflies! i pointed out that the F&W would have a cover charge, and that each booth would cost even more money, but he was totally fine with that, to my astonishment (him being a penny-pincher). we went and had a great time, and even the difficulty in finding parking wasn't an issue. the day was gorgeous, the food good, and the company lovely. we ate sitting looking over the water (it was on the beach). next weekend we're off to lake taupo for powercruise (an australian car event, where you can drive your car on the track any way you want). no, my car is not ready :O( but it's nearly there.

this MB thing really does work. i feel that our relationship, the way we communicate, has improved so much. even though he was so resistant in the beginning, he has come around and is appreciating the benefits that *he* gets out of MB.

on the downside, my visit with the nurse this week was depressing. she said i'm eating all good stuff, but that i eat too much (*and* i'm still hungry!).

what is too much, you ask? an individual pot of yogurt is too much. "have you actually measured how much is in one?" well, no. what sane person measures out food that's already in individual servings? (i should point out this is low-fat, low-sugar natural yogurt, not that artificially coloured/flavoured stuff you get in the states.) "how many strawberries did you eat yesterday?" well, between morning tea and after dinner, about a cup. "that's far too many in one day." geez - they're frickin' strawberries!! and we only get them for 2-3 months out of the year!

the whole experienced left me depressed, so friday i had kinda a FU day - had a bite of carrot cake at morning tea, and a coke with my lunch (oooohhhh, i'm a radical!)! but then i went to the gym, too. but man, i'm telling you, those actresses must eat nothing at all to maintain their skinny frames. i'm just a normal girl, and i'm eating 1/2 c cereal for breakfast (fat-free milk), homemade tiny whole-bran muffin w/yogurt and strawbs for morning tea, a sandwich (whole grain bread, 2 slice meat, lettuce, mustard) and apple for lunch, large salad, veges and some kind of meat at dinner, strawbs for dessert, and an orange at 8.30 pm, and IT'S TOO MUCH!!! argh!!!

as a person who loves cooking, the textures and tastes of food, and who shows love with food preparation, this is really hard. i experiment a lot with recipes (no sugar, very little butter/oil [for instance, there's only 1/3 c oil in my homemade bran muffins, for a yield of 12 small muffins], lots of herbs/spices for flavour)...i just don't know what else to do except starve and feel like food is not an enjoyable part of my life. bah. this just makes me want to cry. but i guess it's do or die, right? so suck it up, letty. i'm going to make enchiladas (low-cheese, chicken, corn tortillas) for dinner on wednesday, and i just know she's going to say that 2 are too many :sigh: i am going to bring a corn tortilla with me. you can't buy them here, so i'm hoping when she sees one, she'll understand why i ate two (i also photograph my food for her so she doesn't think i'm cheating/lying).

anyhow, that's my weekly update! off now to prep sunday roast. ::evil cackle::
I love reading your updates, Let.

Now that I have read your daily menu and I'm starving from that little snack I must go drink some water. laugh

Love your cackle laugh!! We need some new icons!!


FWW/BW (me)
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Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Dunedin .... what a great choice! Make sure your venture out to the Otago Peninisular .... THE MOST beautiful place in the world. Lots of nice restaurants too.

It's wonderful to read about the positives of MB, I'm glad all is going well for you.



Me 46yrs
WH 46yrs "Isildur"
Married: 22yrs 8mths
DS 9yrs;DD 19yrs;DS 21yrs
Bomb drop:marriage not working don't know if ILY 12.11.11
DD:26.11.11
WH moves to OW house 28.11.11
Formal MB Plan A 14.4.12
Plan B 27.4.12
D:20.7.14

"There are moments in life that make us & set the course of who we become. Sometimes they're little & subtle,sometimes they're big & we never saw them coming. No one asks for their life to change, but it does. It's what we do afterwards that counts & we find out who we are."
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I agree that we need a cackle laugh icon!!!
smile

SOOOO happy for you on all fronts! Congrats to Mr. Letty for a fabulous idea on the food & wine festival. smile

I can really relate to your diet scenario too. Although, right now I don't have any limits on how much I can have as long as what I'm having is on my plan. I don't think I'd survive very long if I did. Well, I would, but I wouldn't be a happy camper! smile I love this plan I'm on. I feel great - full - losing weight - it's wonderful!


"The #1 reason why people give up so quickly is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, rather than how far they've gotten."

Me, FBW(46) H, FWH (43)
M - 21 yrs & counting
D (20)
S (18)
S (16)
Surviving and Thriving since November 2010 thanks to MB!
My Recovery Thread: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2538986#Post2538986
My Original Thread: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2457141&page=1

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