You must THINK when you are engaged in a situation where there is somebody possibly going to file false charges to move you out of the way. Heck my xwh did this to me. I had to constantly watch my back with him.
Here is who you must be. This guy.
This awesomely cool guy who is not afraid of a wayward or a posom (or posow, which I pronounce po sow, as in poor pig).
James Bond. James uses the latest gadgetry to get intel on his enemy (the affair and the posom). He would not hesitate to use a measely eblaster or var. He would consider that minimal and not bat an eye to do it. He would get every bit of keylogging information he could and more!
James also is one who could melt the heart of a ww because HE is a manly guy who STANDS UP FOR WHAT HE BELIEVES IN. If he is on a mission, HE COMPLETES THE MISSION. Your mission? To KILL the affair! To end the affair.
James also never cries or begs or pleads when he is dealing with a woman. Usually a double agent spy type. Kinda like a ww huh? One who would sleep with him and then want to knock him off and then run away to the enemy and talk. Hmmm...sounds familiar. Nah, he would not ever cry or beg. He is COOL at all times. Knows how to engage a woman in conversation, knows how to meet emotional needs of the woman.
and when it comes to exposure? Killing the bad guy? He does it with ease and calm. He carefully plans his kill shots on the affair. He precisely aims and targets with exposure shots, all parties he needs to inform. The omw, family, friends, and employer (if need be) and also his ww's friends, family, and employer (if a work affair). He times it perfectly and EXECUTES it!
After he kills the affair with exposure, he returns home and greets his wife (aka double agent) and greets her with a kiss, and that knowing confident smile. He is confident. Always looks, smells, and appears attractive. She suddenly finds this overwhelmingly attractive.
In the end, even if the double agent ww learns of exposure, she will rant and rave, but in the end, who is to ever fight with James? She knows her man fought for her, and killed the bad guy (the affair).
So BE this guy!