Exposure emails and IM's via Facbook went out today, I'll keep you posted.

Dear Friends and Family of the XXX�s,

By now you might know I have been served divorce papers by my wife of 22 years, AAAAA over the holidays. It is important to me, that you know and understand the reasons. The reason is to carry on her affair with BBBBB, a coworker. This affair has been going on for several months. I have direct evidence of recent 3 hour rendezvous on the evening of October 16th at the CCCCC Motel, which is where BBBBBB stays while he works at DDDDDD Nursing Home. This all took place while I was working in another part of the country trying to provide for my family's needs. The affair continues to this day.

If you have any influence with AAAA, I would ask you to contact her at EEEEEE or FFFFFFF@comcast.net and ask her to work with me to re-commit to our marriage. Tell her that you do not approve of her relationship with CCCCCCC

I wish I did not have to provide this sad information, but having DAAAAA spin her dishonest tale of what has happened is intolerable.

I appreciate your support over this very difficult time.

Regards,

Are you working on the workplace exposure letter?

Yes - working on it - I will send out registered receipt requested mail tomorrow.

Great job!!! Keep up the good work. I'd definitely have a VAR on my person at all times if I were you. She is going to be livid and may very well try to accuse you of domestic violence to get you out of the house!

Your therapist is a total idiot. Don't go back there. Read here, get the books and keep posting. If there is a a chance to save this marriage, plan on getting help through the coaching center here.

Be prepared for her anger. Be the cool James Bond. Simply say you are standing up for your marriage and ask if she wants a cookie. Don't engage in the fights she'll try to start.

OK - Hopefully she does not try the PFA scam !

Also, I mentioned that we have been cordial over the holidays ( she even slipped up and called me "sweetie" a couple of times. She is thinking that we can have a custody agreement where I can see my daughter every other weekend, which If I agreed to would facilitate a quick divirce. I informed her, that It should be quite the reverse, she could have her every other weekend, since I am concerned that she is associating herself with people of questionable moral values. Did I push this point too far ? We have a custody orientation hearing on Wednesday.

You are doing great.

Now be cool, calm and collected. Whatever you do, DON'T get angry, call her names, throw things, slam doors (at least none of this whilst in her presence, or in front of your kids).

Be good to yourself.

Do not move out of your home, whatever spews out of her mouth.

We're here rooting for ya. Come back here for support.

If you want to save your marriage, don't discuss divorce with her. If she brings it up, or brings up issues like custody, tell her shed have to talk to your lawyer. You don't discuss divorce, you will discuss how to have a loving, romantic, monogamous marriage.

Thanks guys - I wish I can come here 2 months ago before things got as screwed up as they are. My thinking is she went and filed for divorce anyway, took a hard line and told me I would have nothing - so what do I have to lose ?

You have everything to gain by getting the truth out there.

Even if your marriage doesn't recover, you can hold your head up and know that you fought for what is right and best. Your children will know this too.

You can personally recover, whatever happens to your marriage.

Covering up her crimes doesn't benefit anyone. You are doing great.

I will send out registered receipt requested mail tomorrow.

...and follow up with a "So when can I expect your decision about action?" phone call a few days later.

And dude, if you think she's hot NOW, wait until the felines at her job get this info! MEE-frickin'-YOOOW!

in response to NG's feline photo (not laughing at your situation, SouthP )

Yeh - the SPCA would have touble putting that in the brochure !

Cruelty to Cats!!

Absolutely NOT the wrong thing to say!

She should not assume, if she continues with the divorce, that YOU will not have physical custody with her having visitation. Many of our dads here are the custodial parent with some xW's having no visitation!

But try to stay away from divorce talk right now. Let her know your lawyer talks divorce----You talk marriage!

Update - Exposure emails sent out
Facebook messages sent - I am temporarily blocked, so need to wait before sending out more.

Workplace letters sent out, one to CEO and one to Supervisor

Got todays Divorce Orientation hearing out of the way, I stated that as far as I was concerned, I want to work on the marriage, and If divorce is inevitable, I want primary residential custody of my daughter.

WW was very quiet after the first round of exposure emails.
I did not hear back from any of the recipients.

WW was very quiet after the first round of exposure emails.

Ahh, yes, but putting her employment status in play threatens her with 1)loss of income, and 2)loss of access to temporary boy-toy.

Expect a howling she-devil. Do not get angry. Keep your audio-recorder "on". Conduct all discussions with her in front of witnesses. You want no involvement by the lobotomized cretins wearing badges, my friend. One "tear" from her, and you'll be the Boston Strangler in their eyes.

Well done

Good job!!

I have a real problem with the workplace exposure - My income, being a self employed consultant is feast or famine - right now its starvation. Her six figure income might disappear, but she could be working again within a few weeks.
Her current workplace leaves a bad taste in my mouth - as it enabled the affair, I wonder who knew ?

I guess that's whay we have an emergency fund, which will get seriously dented.