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#2699452 01/17/13 02:55 PM
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Hi everyone,

Long time no hear or see. Sorry about. Life is happening and that's a good thing because for the most part it's all healthy and working towards getting healthier. Hubby and I just got the new book by the Harley's on becoming closer to G-d and we get started on reading it every morning starting on Monday. yeah!!!

Now, the reason I am here. If you are new and reading this. For g-d's sake, read this stuff, absorb it, listen to the people and trust the process. They know what they are doing.

Last June a co-worker found out her H was having an EA, and I begged her to come here. BEGGED. She did, she read the books, but didn't really buy into this theory at all. Her H exposed his feelings for the OW, and stayed in the house. G-d the Plan A she could have done, but does she listen. OH NO, she bucks my suggestions, finds fault and wastes precious time.

We go on summer vacation and imagine, when I get back, he has moved out, and not only is just waiting for OW to move out there, but is now talking to many women and deciding what he wants to do. Does she work with me, grasp these frickin principles. OH NO.

So, OW moves out in November or December, the lawyers are involved, it's ugly and my co-worker is a mess in so many ways because deep down she wants her marriage. OH VEY!!

She has lost precious time, done almost all wrong and still isn't coming to this website. OMG..... Today's "surprise" topic is WH's babble. I've tried for awhile for a good link to get her some information on reverse babble. Does anyone have it readily that I can borrow?

Thank you so much for your help!


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Thank you so much.


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
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Originally Posted by QueeniesAdventures
So, OW moves out in November or December, the lawyers are involved, it's ugly and my co-worker is a mess in so many ways because deep down she wants her marriage. OH VEY!!

Today's "surprise" topic is WH's babble. I've tried for awhile for a good link to get her some information on reverse babble. Does anyone have it readily that I can borrow?

Hi Queenie! She SOO NEEDS to be in Plan B!! All she is doing is breaking herself down. She can't reason with a fogged out wayward so it does not matter one bit what she says to him. BUT...it matters very much if she continually hears his fogbabble. So sad that you can't get her to buy into these principles....

What is her biggest objection about the concepts?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Hi Queenie! She SOO NEEDS to be in Plan B!! All she is doing is breaking herself down. She can't reason with a fogged out wayward so it does not matter one bit what she says to him. BUT...it matters very much if she continually hears his fogbabble. So sad that you can't get her to buy into these principles....

What is her biggest objection about the concepts?

Hi Melody, hope my copying works. Been awhile. OMG, do you not know how BAD she needs and has needed to be in Plan B. I just truly want to twoxfour twoxfour twoxfour!!!!!

Truly I can't figure it out. I reminded her I have been where she has been and I have a marriage today. But she knows best!
She knows so best that I have watched her husband leave the house, move in the OW, and the lawyer crap...

I want to truly SLAP HER!!!


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
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Shall we jump in my pick up and go over and hawg tie her?? rotflmao

How frustrating for you, my friend!!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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How frustrating for you, my friend!!

Honest to g-d that is an understatment. I have watched the complete disintegration of this marriage when its been completely unnecessary. She could have working a strong Plan A, then transition into Plan B if it didn't work and OW would have probably never moved out.

OMG, the signs that he gave her. Calling her, talking to her, he moved back and forth between H and WH that she could have completely capitalize on this. G-d what I wouldn't have given for the opportunties he gave her and she didn't take it to her advantage.

She truly has no one to blame but herself for where this marriage is today. And yet, I'm still trying to get her to just come here and read.

SO if you are new, I BEG you, follow the darn plans to the letter. Marriage do recover if you do the work.

GGGRRRRRR mad mad mad


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
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Hey Queenie - I'm pretty sure that Dr Harley doesn't regard "reverse babble" as being MB. I suggest you stick with MB in helping your friend.


Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
Joined: Oct 2009
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Queening,

You can only help people who want to help themselves.

A couple of months ago I referred a good friend to Mb even started a thread for her, sent her the link and helped her with exposure. She didn't get on here and retracted exposure.

Her WH is now moved onto A number 2 (first A ended due to exposure) and she is still there and still loosing her sanity as each day she sits there watching him text and talk to the OW.
This was her second Marriage and her first marriage ended because of 3-4 affairs.

Do you think she has learned to walk away or do anything to help herself? No she still sits there and takes it.

As much as we want to we can't help people who aren't willing to do what it takes to help themselves.


BW 36(Me)
WS 38
Married: 2000
DD1November 22 2008 - DD2 October 2014
PA Duration September 08 - November 08
Second discovery- 6 online affairs 4 sexual one emotional. October 2014.kids: DS 17, DS 14, DS 12, DS 10 . Baby after divorce DS 18months

Divorced

Was misled into thinking we were in recovery for 6 years.

If you were shocked reading any of this, that this is the consequence of not following MB to the LETTER.

NB28 #2699589 01/17/13 07:37 PM
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Hi Queenie! (JT waving from the frigid, but beautifully clear northern valley).

Let's get together soon. smile

end of t/j


johnstwin-

"I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future." -Martin Luther

Remarried my FXH 25 years to the day of our first M. God is so good-and sometimes so unexpected!

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Hi Big, It may not be, and I haven't been here for awhile to see if things changed, but that was extremely helpful to me in my journey. Thanks for the word though.

Hi JT!!! Maybe we could get together for Mid-Winter Break? When are you off?

Hugs to you.


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,351
Likes: 3
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Happy Birthday Queenie.
HappyBirthday


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Wow, thank you so very much!!!! It's been an amazingly blessed day! I hope all is well with you Brain!!!!


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,351
Likes: 3
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Originally Posted by QueeniesAdventures
Wow, thank you so very much!!!! It's been an amazingly blessed day! I hope all is well with you Brain!!!!
I'm glad you had a blessed day. All is well with me, thanks for asking.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Posts: 6,643
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I had an incredible day! Hopefully I'll get some time to catch up on here over the weekend?


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,351
Likes: 3
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Originally Posted by QueeniesAdventures
I had an incredible day! Hopefully I'll get some time to catch up on here over the weekend?
Hope so.

So many new posters with the same hurtful stories.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.




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