I just got a chance to listen to yesterday's show and the interchange between Robert and his wife was painful to listen to... There have been several men who have posted here about wives that won't turn things around and I have to wonder in some of the cases if they are like Robert.. They have spent so many years treating their wives like dirt and their wives love banks are so negative. They expect that a few half hearted attempts will instantly reverse years of damage.... To me, the best thing he could do to prove he loves her is to move out, never commit another love buster and woo her. Even then, it may be too late.. It would probably take a year of his living on his own, going out on dates that were fun for an entire year before I would ever consider letting that guy back in the house... Not much time to listen before today's show, but those of you who complain about your wives and what they aren't doing or should be doing listen to that interchange as well as the e-mail that they discussed afterwards..

It really was painful to listen to... I'm calling my husband right now to tell him how wonderful he is and how much I appreciate him...

I tried listening to this but was unable to get the entire broadcast through my DROID. Grrr.

If you or anyone else is able to post a link to this broadcast I would appreciate it. At the point the broadcast stopped I think there were some things relevant to my R with my W that Dr. Harley was going to discuss.

I was going to ask this same question. links plz ...

X3

I will post it as soon as they post it in the archives.

I definately hear what you are saying, but I think it is a bit of a catch-22. I didnt hear the clip, but I feel withdrawn because my LB is empty, and my wife is witdrawn and doesnt feel interested in meeting my needs. I am having a hard time accepting that moving out/Plan B would increase UA, IC, and SF. It would aslo impact FS and family commitment in a big way.

"Hi honey, I'm moving out so we can date more often." My wife would AO and DJ in a big way.

Has anybody tried this? What am I missing?

But your wife doesn't WANT you to work out. The caller in the program really wanted him to move out. He had told her was all her fault because the house wasn't clean enough. It sounded like his anger and verbal abuse had her love bank so withdrawn she was very close to hating him.

I wasn't thinking he was having her go into plan B either... So that isn't what I was suggesting.. I think Dr. Harley often recommends that abusive spouses move out and then get anger management and then date the spouse for a long period of time until that spouse feels safer.

And as I said, this woman was so angry that it may be too late.

Here it is.

Radio clip of 02-06-13 Show
Segment #2
Segment #3
Segment #4

Well, no one has ever said that one would have to
be a Mensa member to have a successful marriage,
but it appears one cannot be as stupid as "Robert"
on these recordings!

Thanks BH.

You're welcome.

Runner, I thought I�d comment on this as no one else has.

Plan B isn�t designed to restore anything. It serves multiple purposes and a couple key ones are:
It protects what love you may have left for your partner. If remaining together is going to do nothing but continually decrease the love you have for your spouse then separating yourself from that before it�s too late is a good option.
It also is an effective way of shaking up the situation. Sending a message to the partner or what have you as a last resort. It sends the message you mean business and something drastic has to happen in order for things to turn around.

Read up on Plan B if�n you think you�re headed to Plan D. It is a Plan that includes more than simply getting away from the toxic relationship. In this clip Dr Harley even states that before a couple separates that there be a plan for reconciliation. That way the separation isn�t a step towards divorce but rather a step towards reconciliation.

TJ

I must have been listening to the next day's broadcast as this session wasn't releveant to much in my M.

Brain? You're becoming my audio librarian.

No problem.

Did you want to hear the 02-07-13 show?

Yes Please. I'm too cheap to pay for the archives myself ... hence the need for a personal audio librarian.

The MB app on my DROID seems to always stop after a few moments which is why I miss these daily broadcasts. Even though I'm sitting in the middle of a metropolitan area probably not that far from where they're recording the broadcast I struggle to hear the entire broadcast.

Radio Clip of 2-07-13 Show
Segment #2
Segment #3
Segment #4
Segment #5

Thanks BH, Segment #5 was the part I needed to hear.

I have a neighbor who confides in me with his marriage struggles. He has a controlling often critical wife and he's very unhappy. She's gone for the weekend and he and his kids are going to come hang with us Saturday. I'm hoping I can help them improve things. I see them drifting apart and I feel for them and their children.