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Joined: Apr 2010
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That sounds great. In the beginning you may experience setbacks now and then. Over time, you'll get in the habit of doing things the right way. As your love banks are filling up, the whole process will get easier.
me, DH
all the children
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
I have noticed, and hopefully MB vets can comment, that a lot of what I have called LB's on her part (tone of voice,etc) have almost disappeared when I started meeting her emotional needs. I wonder if this is common? Hi, Neera - saw you posting elsewhere and came by to take a look. Yes, this is very common! Really husbands have a lot of potential to bring their wives on board with this program. As their account in their wife's love bank raises, the wife is more and more motivated to meet his emotional needs and protect him from her love busters. Frankly Prisca could've cared less about eliminating her love busters until I was well down the road to filling my account in her love bank. One of Dr. Harley's Q&A columns mentions to a husband how his wife is not motivated to eliminate her love busters, but once she feels in love with him she will be motivated to, because her emotions will prompt her to want to do that. I'm having trouble finding it at the moment. (So read them all.  )
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 38
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OP
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Joined: Sep 2013
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Thanks markos, I will re-read them. It is so extraordinarily frustrating to be doing what feels like a ton of work, only to get knocked down again. Hence my questions over on Ernie's thread. Saw the response about AD's too- I have tried 3 different ones that did not work but will go back to doc.
We experienced a major setback since 10-24, and I need to do something to get rid of this feeling of "is it really worth it to be married" so that I can stay the course.
Me: 46
Wife: 46
Daughter 9
Son 8
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,152
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,152 |
It is really worthwile to be married:
- you have children together, if you argue about raising them now, what do you think would happen once you are divorced?
- you will lose a lot of money divorcing.
- after 4 years of being married to another woman, you will be at the same position, because you do not have the skills yet to keep love and romance alive.
I can think of many more reasons, but it is important to follow the program instead of going with your feelings. If antidepressants do not work, you may want to start exercising. Preferrably outside, becaus sunlight has added benefit in depress7on. And you will look better as aboonus if you take a walk after meals...
me, DH
all the children
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 38
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Thanks hh, appreciate the encouragement. I KNOW all those things you mentioned, and more, but sometimes the FEELING is overwhelming.
Am going to doctor today to see about Wellbutrin, etc.
Me: 46
Wife: 46
Daughter 9
Son 8
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