Well, I exposed today to more friends and family of my wife as well as many of OM facebook friends. Wife was livid, concerned about it affecting both her and his employment. When she came home from work she physically attacked me in front of our children. I called police and spent a couple hours at the station. I said I did not want to press charges but they had to because it was a domestic dispute. She was released on her own recognisance. I got a restraining order where it says she can not come around me our my apartment, but unfortunately did nt request temporary custody of the kids. Kids went to her parents house when police came, but because I did not request custody, she immediately went there demanding to take them. She ended up taking only my son since daughter was sleeping. Said she was going to her girlfriend's house. I think this is true but I can only hope. Now wishing I had requested custody, but that can't be changed until 7-10 days when a hearing is set confirm, modify, or rescind the restraining order.

Mother in law is concerned mainly for the kids, said she doesn't trust me or my wife. Said how do I know wife wasn't lying about my wife telling me she had sex with the OM, to push me away. I know that she was not lying, by the pain and guilt she was in when she had told me. Oh well. Other than that time she has not confirmed nor denied having sex again (probably means she has). Mother in law has seen the messages I sent out and says everyone she has talked to thinks it was wrong for me to do. Though I did receive a message back from wife's brother and a friend saying that they are saddened but we are both in their thoughts and prayers. The friend, and her husband, is not one of our closest, but they are in a strong marriage and just celebrated their tenth anniversary yesterday. Friend said she wanted to contact my wife but thought it might be seen as an attack. They invited us to Thanksgiving by their place, so I told her that wife and I weren't taking much so maybe she could at least call or text the invite to her.

Will I have to prove this A in court, and if so how much evidence will I need?

A question about background checks: What is the quickest, cheapest, best way to background check?

eden, I would get your kids back and get ahold of an attorney so you can get sole custody. Your wife will continue to drag your kids into her affair and they will end up abused, molested. Apparently, not even her own parents will protect your kids. So go get them for now and get them home.

You can do these online with intelius.com I believe. Others might know of other ways.

Good job on calling the Police.
Dr Harley encourages any abused spouse to press charges with the police.
See the lawyer asap.
She's going down the same track my wife did

You need to change your job asap.
Your attormey Will also tell you this.
Is your child school age? If thw child isn't in school tomorrow call the police and children services

My daughter, who stayed at in-laws is nine and mother in law says she will bring her to school tomorrow. My son, who my wife took tonight is 6. We started him in kindergarten this year but he had trouble with attachment issues, so I have been homeschooling him the last few weeks. My wife had homeschooled my daughter through first grade but I am still new to it. I hesitantly agreed to homeschool since my wife started new job, but this precludes a day job for me (just one thing that has been effected by our poor communication). I will be working on getting him into school again. Child protective has already been notified due the assault tonight, so I will be hearing from them. I�m guessing they will probably want him in school. I hope they will be of help. I will be working on getting day job immediately, as I know the night hours I work as well as the low pay were big issues in our relationship (both with wife and kids).

Since I exposed to my kids, and especially after what happened tonight I m wondering if I should get school psychologist involved, or an outside therapist.

When I exposed to my kids, my daughter told me that she was uncomfortable around the OM, that when she hert herself he was indifferent to her and didn't look up from his phone. She also mentioned that whe they were together with WW and OM they would tell kids to play a game and go in the other room. When my daughter went in to ask them a question she saw them repositioning themselves. I am really feeling stupid now about not asking for temporary custody. Maybe child protective will have some say. My inlaws are willing to care for the kids. Wife's stepfather is a lawyer and he realized that since we still both have custody she had the right to take my son. My mistake.

I would not trust the in laws.
There is an old proverb: Blood is thicker than water.

I suggest you email the school psychologist:

Dear Psychologist,

During the past few weeks my wife has been having an affair and leaving the home.
Last night she assaulted me and the police issued a restraining order.
I am concerned these recent events may be stressful for my child.
Please let me know if you notice any concerning behaviors or have any suggestions.
Thank you

Don't trust the inlaws!!!

Your MiL has already given you ample warning that she will not support you and will blind herself to the truth about WW.

Even if she were being at all supportive, blood is thicker than water.

Can you ask your employer for a leave of abscence while you deal with this? Tell your boss you need to be around your kids 24/7 at the moment because your wife has become violent and is exposing the kids to her boyfriend of nefarious character. Tell him you have legitimate concerns your daughter may be abused (honestly this is so common with OM). Once you have something in place legally and with schooling you will probably only be able to work days.

I'd take a few days off to contact a lawyer and get a legal agreement in place which gets you custody of the kids and your wife out of the house. Or which makes it legal for you to take them to your parents which you may have to do if you will need to quit your job.

In the meantime I would pick your daughter up from school today and make sure nobody else has access to the kids (the inlaws will just roll over and let WW take them). Make sure that you stay with them round the clock.

My wife is asking that I apologize to those I exposed to, especially OM friends and family. I am not inclined to do that. She says that if I don't do it before 2pm she is bringing the exposure letters to her arrainment in court for the assault. I'm not really sure how that could help her with justifying the assault. I am in the process of getting legal counsel. Has anyone had experience in being brought to court upon exposrue of affair?

After I exposed, I was told I needed to apologize to POSOM, call his employer to get his job back, that he was going to sue me...to call his mommy and apologize....blah, blah, blah.

If she wants to go even MORE public with the truth of her affair, in open court -- well, go right ahead, then!

Your exposure hit the target.

What is she going to do?
Tell th judge: I beat him because he made me mad?

She's trying to control you.
Make sure you have the voice recorder on you.

As for exposure of affair, my attorney brought my ex wifes affair parter to court via subpeanae.
In many states adultery is just cause or divorce.
In Florida it is still a crime, I believe.
In North Carolina, betrayed spouses can sue the adultery partner.

Exposure of adultery is NOT illegal (ask Bill Clinton)

I am not seeking divorce, though she has said that she has already talked to a lawyer abot it.

Bringing the exposure letters to HER arraignment????

Hardy har har. That was a good one.

I agree with the others that we rarely see the cheating spouse so overt in their activities. The guy showed up to pick her up for a date?? Wow.

Anyway, I like your patience and resolve in this matter as Im sure it will pay off for you, if you want it to. This wife of yours is in it deep. Your choice to standby as she engages in this is certainly admirable.

Stay tough buddy and care for those kids as she's showing zero interest in them. And, be prepared as now that this affair is public it should be winding down, as a lot of them tend to do. The magic of the clandestine action being over and the reality of public admonition are usually recipes for an OM to make himself scarce.

You need to follow through on the rest of the steps the very qualified people here will guide you with. No matter how this turns out, staying true to the steps will help you immensely.

If you dont excercise, start. I started with a simple walk around the neighborhood and now run 4x a week. Whatever the chemical that is produced from an excercise session is, it helps you see things clearly. See a doctor and get a looksee from stem to stern.

Good luck.

You may need to file for divorce in order to get custody of your kids.
Your attorney can discuss this with you.

Did you do a background check?

You need to see an attorney TODAy

I would invite her to bring those letters to the arraignment so the judge understands that she is having an adulterous affair and dragging your children into it.


That would be great. Please welcome her proposal.

And why should you apologize for spreading the good news of her affair??