But, Dad, we're just friends!"

Principle: 'extra' words give us additional information. Your daughter (not mine) could have said, "Dad, we're friends!", and the sentence would have been complete. Therefore, the word "just" is significant.

The word "just" will creep into the subject's language in less than a micro second. It is highly significant.

It is used to compare one thing with at least one other thing.

For example, I want to sell you a car for $15,000 but I know you are thinking it is too much money. Therefore, I roll out a few $25,000 cars first, which look very similar, and then...

I roll out the 15K car and say, "Ah, yes, I know $25,000 is way out of your price range, but this one...yes, this one is just $15,000."

The word "just" is used to compare.

Parents, listen carefully to the language your kids use, following the pronouns, and grabbing those "extra" words, which are so very important.

If you catch your spouse using these words, it may be that he or she is "just" friends, but first ask yourself:

"Who brought in the comparison?"

If you, the suspicious spouse did, the word "just" is an appropriate response. But if you ask, "Who did you have lunch with?" and you get, "I went to lunch with Bob; we're just friends" you now know that the subject, has compared the level of friendship she has with Bob with another level.

Proceed with caution.

The following is Statement Analysis of Rob Ford's denial about oral sex. Please be aware of coarse language.

A reliable denial is simple, and it has three components. If there are four, it is unreliable, just as if there are two.

1. The pronoun "I"

2. The past tense verb "didn't" or "did not"

3. The specific allegation answered


Therefore, the word "never" is not reliable, and it is only appropriately heard when either joined to a reliable denial (following it) or it is an answer to a question that begins with "ever" within it.

Also, note the sensitivity when someone feels the need to explain "why" they did (or did not) do something. It signals that the person anticipated being asked.

At a press conference this morning, Mayor Rob Ford addressed the accusation that he tried to perform on a female staffer, one of several complaints filed against Ford in court documents released on Wednesday.

�Oh, and the last thing was Olivia Gondek, it says it says that I wanted to eat her ******

�I�ve never said that in my life to her. I would never do that. I�m happily married. I�ve got more than enough to eat at home. Thank you very much."

Here is the same statement, with analysis.

�Oh, and the last thing was Olivia Gondek, it says it says that I wanted to eat her ******

�I�ve never said that in my life to her. I would never do that. I�m happily married. I�ve got more than enough to eat at home. Thank you very much."

The simplest thing to say would have been "I did not do that, nor did I say that, or anything else sexual to her. I did not want to perform oral sex, and I did not say anything to her about sex."

Instead:


�Oh, and the last thing was Olivia Gondek, it says it says that I wanted to eat her ******

Note the embedded words, "I wanted to eat her *****" is a quote of what "it says." Might someone else use different words to paraphrase? We are always listening for possible embedded questions. Does the report actually use these words? If not, it is likely an embedded confession.

We seek to learn if one enters into the language of another, or chooses words of his own volition (the free editing process). Does he deny this?

�I�ve never said that in my life to her.

1. Note that "never" is not to be substituted for "didn't" or "did not." It is a term that liars feel more at ease with, since it spans so much time. Lance Armstrong "never" used PEDS, nor did Marion Jones. Joey Buttafouco "never, ever ever" had sex with Amy Fischer.

2. Note the additional words "in my life" are words used to attempt to persuade the listener. The need to persuade makes a denial weak.


"I would never do that. I�m happily married. I�ve got more than enough to eat at home. Thank you very much."

Please note that "would never" is future/conditional and avoids the past tense connection that a reliable denial has.

Note the need to explain why: "I'm happily married" (which is certainly in doubt now) shows the need to persuade or give reason to not do or say something.

He then goes on to use an analogy which is crude, increasing the likelihood that the words above are, in fact, an embedded confession.

The conclusion:

If he is unable to tell us that he did not do it, we are not permitted to say it for him.

Sigh. Makes me miss SchoolBus. She is a master at language analysis.

Never heard of her! I'll go look up some of her posts

Hmmm, tells me you actually HAVE heard of her!

"Never say never again" LOL

I think those are some clues but can't be taken alone. There are times when "really" and "never" are indicative of an honest statement. It's the inconsistency that sometimes can't be heard until there is more discussion that relays dishonesty, and specifically with marriage, a lack of behavioral change indicates dishonesty. One frustrating thing about it is that you may be able to eventually detect dishonesty but it's still hard to know what the truth is when someone is trying to hide it.