Hello out there,
I've never really participated in a forum persae...But this seems to be a safe place to reach out to those who hopefully understand and have insights.
(...hmm..how to break this down so it's not a novel?) I think I'll begin with this intro for now:
I'm 46 years old, and my husband (? we'll get to that later) is 51 and we've been together for 20 years. We have two daughters, one grown and a freshman in college and one 10 year old. (there's a story behind this too). We have always had turmoil and conflict in our relationship, and ultimately even though we call each other husband and wife, the truth is we are divorced and have been since December 1998. We met at work in January 1993. Went on our first date July 16th 1993. Got engaged October 11th 1993. Got married Dec 26th 1993. We were in marriage counseling before we even walked down the aisle.
The old saying "opposites attract" was originated by us (just kidding)...but truly we are opposites in just about everything. We do share some very deep seeded fundamental beliefs too however...But the long and short of it is that we fought like cats and dogs before, and worse after we were married and had our first daughter. Our situation was abusive...HE was abusive in ways I'll have to get to at another time, but I fired back and had my own demons to get in check...which I have!! But no worries, he's not the bang 'em up and break 'em type...(its worse...it leaves no marks, and goes on unnoticed by others). We eventually divorced in 1997 and again, long story to tell later maybe, in 2002 we got pregnant with our second child and were back together by the time she was born in 2003. We are not remarried. We see marriage completely differently. In fact, we see everything differently...and we struggle every day with conflict...it would seem like "well split up"...because it's truly that difficult at times..but we are bonded and dedicated and love each other inexplicably so we tredge on. We need help. We need emergent help. He is participating in this quest...a quest to find our way...defeat the odds....stay together and be happy and fulfilled.
I used to be a pearl...I have grown to become Titanium...
{Is this too much information? I've never been in group like this so I hope I'm not posting wrong or whatever.}
More later if I get a response I guess. Time to go get the ten year old...:)
Signed
Titanium
