Well i know this is a marriagebuilders forums but along with the good comes the bad and i am gling through it right now,it has been a month since saying goodbye to other man and i am going out of my mind missing him right now,we talked daily for over a year on the phone and met once for 4 days together.I miss the friendship we had and now that we took this too far i have even lost the friendship part as we can not even talk anymore........this is hell and i wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy...;-( I know everyone will jump on me saying it is an addiction but i don't agree with that at all because if love is an addiction i guess i will always be addicted to him as the love i feel and have for otherman i have never felt in my life and no i did not feel this in beginning of my marriage,of course there was love there but we were both young and i don't honestly think at 17 you have the power to love this way.My hubby has been great if i am crying for otherman he comes and brings me kleenex or hugs me but i don't want him to do that i want the otherman to be hugging me,i don't know what to do but hubby and i are going away in 2 weeks for a marriage encounters weekend and see where that will bring us....i just wanted to vent i am so tired of waking up every day missing om and need to talk to someone else going through this.............;-( Thanx for listening.........

Hi. I'm on the other side of the fence, so aren't much help I know, but I'm really missing the one I love (my H), so can relate to what you are feeling inside. We are all human, don't berate yourself for feeling pain. Have you found the website <BR> <A HREF="http://www.survivingloss.com" TARGET=_blank>www.survivingloss.com</A> <P>It's a big help to understanding and coming to terms with loss. Your loss is as real as mine, even if it comes from opposite sides. Your affair happened for it's own reasons, reasons which are often painful in themselves. Only you and your H know those reasons. From one caring person to another, I hope your day gets better.

I understand completely, but can offer no advice or support or anything really. And I wish I could tell you the pain goes away ...

I see your going to a "marriage encounter weekend"...<P>This is good...<P>I don't know how much you know about this... but it basically is a communications building lesson... Don't be turned off by this!<P>To get through the withdrawal from the OM... you <B>need</B> to focus on your needs and your H's needs! This will give you a tool with which to practice with your husband! Please practice... practice... practice...<P>Don't fall into the trap that this(MEW) is going to solve all your problems... my W did and gave up on it within just two months!<P>Give the "dialoguing" a much longer time! Let it be the regular time to "rediscover" that teenage love... and how it really has matured into a <B>better and deeper</B> love... something that will supercede your love for OM. Your husband's patience will shine for you as a love you never seen before.<P>My prayers are with you...<BR>Don't give up on "dialoguing"!!!<BR>Don't give up on your marriage...<BR>Do let go of the OM.<P>Hey... God loves you! <BR>And so do we! <P>Jim

I know it's hard...but, the pain will go away. You are in control of your pain...you have the power to heal yourself and your broken heart. <P>You really have to work at it and can't expect it to just go away with time. Time does heal all wounds...but, I think you have to really work at it to heal properly.<P>God, I know how much you must miss your OM...I still miss mine too. I still think of the OM all the time...although, it doesn't hurt as much. It's very frustrating that he is still in my thoughts...I have faith that his memory will fade. But, part of me wants to hang onto him anyway.

So glad you posted this topic. Altho my marriage is over, I find myself in the position of being the OW now since I got involved (YES, stupidly) with a MM. I don't know his reasons, what his marriage is like, etc. But I know I was swept away by his attentiveness and the fact that he made me feel VERY desirable, after over a year of feeling like nothing. Now I am trying very hard to walk away from this dead end. But am backsliding. I know I can keep away from places I will see him, etc. but I MISS him and all I have to hear is that he misses me and it starts all over again. In my case I can't say that it is love, its more a need I have to be with someone who seems interested in me, he just happens to be married. I suppose all we can do is work on us, and time will lessen the pain of loss.