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Joined: Nov 2002
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cgar Offline OP
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I came back to MB just recently to review all materials again because my son's wife had multiple affairs and he needed help. I have encouraged him to come to MB and hope he will.

With the review, a profound sense of gratitude to The Harley's and everyone who runs or contributes to this site came over me.

Without the advise and plans outlined here my husband and I would never have made our own marriage recovery.

Just recently, my husband who originally said the POJA would never work said "I thought the POJA was completely unrealistic and would never work. But we live it now, because we did the work of meeting emotional needs and eliminating love busters."

Thank you to all of you who helped us save our marriage. Hopefully, my son will come to you now for support on his journey.

Cgar
now 65 and married 43 years!


BS-57-Me
WS-57-husband
married 35 years
3 wonderful grown children
DDay2/6/00-he disclosed the day after the last child turned 21
Continuous E&PA-21 years-unknown to me
1+year of fog, now 4+ years of recovery, but on the right track!
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Cgar,

There have been many changes in how the forum operates. There used to be quite a bit of blogging. Now, the threads on the forums are very focused on MB principles and their implementation.

Have you looked at the new materials? Dr. Harley recently published a revised edition of "Surviving an Affair". Does your son have that newest edition?

How long has your son been married? How many affairs has his wife had? Have these affairs been exposed?

AM

Last edited by armymama; 09/07/14 09:52 PM.

BW - 65
WH - 60
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
DD - 44, DS - 30, DS - 23
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 988
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cgar Offline OP
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sorry, just trying to give hope and express gratitude


BS-57-Me
WS-57-husband
married 35 years
3 wonderful grown children
DDay2/6/00-he disclosed the day after the last child turned 21
Continuous E&PA-21 years-unknown to me
1+year of fog, now 4+ years of recovery, but on the right track!
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
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Please send your son here and we can help him with his wife's affairs.

Last edited by Jedi_Knight; 09/11/14 02:18 PM.
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cgar,

Welcome back and great to hear you are doing so well!! That's good news.

And sorry for what? armymama was not criticizing your post. She was just alerting you to the fact the forums have changed a lot in recent years. They are very focused on advising & suggesting Dr Harley's advice to new members, not so much on personal opinions and other advice, like they used to be.

Thanks a lot for your update and hoping your son joins us.


Dday- Feb 1998
Recovered!!
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Originally Posted By: Nerlycrzy
cgar,

Welcome back and great to hear you are doing so well!! That's good news.

And sorry for what? armymama was not criticizing your post. She was just alerting you to the fact the forums have changed a lot in recent years. They are very focused on advising & suggesting Dr Harley's advice to new members, not so much on personal opinions and other advice, like they used to be.

Thanks a lot for your update and hoping your son joins us.


Absolutely, no need to apologize. Hopefully, your son will find help here.

AM


BW - 65
WH - 60
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
DD - 44, DS - 30, DS - 23
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 810
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Originally Posted By: cgar

Just recently, my husband who originally said the POJA would never work said "I thought the POJA was completely unrealistic and would never work. But we live it now, because we did the work of meeting emotional needs and eliminating love busters."
Hi cgar! I'm so happy that you came here and posted an inspiration for all of us.

Sorry though for what your son is going through. Yes by all means please bring him here, and let us know when he has posted.

Many of us newbies in recovery would love to hear how you and your husband worked through the POJA so well? What were the obstacles that you had to get through and how did you accomplish it?


DDays - six months of them
THANK YOU God and Marriage Builders.
We never knew that it could be this good! smile
Joined: Jun 2012
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Thanks for the update cgar. I have seen your post on the weekend forum and I am so glad that things have gone well for you. I always wonder how people are doing years after they went through the weekend program (now called the online program). What I have noticed is that those who stick with it, and make the behavioral adjustments which are necessary, end up having a much better marriage than before.

It's such a shame that this stuff isn't taught before marriage. But most people don't go into marriage thinking that they'll need it. Our kids think we're crazy when we bring it up. Oh well. We still do.

So hopefully your son can benefit now. smile


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