Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 988
C
cgar Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 988
I came back to MB just recently to review all materials again because my son's wife had multiple affairs and he needed help. I have encouraged him to come to MB and hope he will.

With the review, a profound sense of gratitude to The Harley's and everyone who runs or contributes to this site came over me.

Without the advise and plans outlined here my husband and I would never have made our own marriage recovery.

Just recently, my husband who originally said the POJA would never work said "I thought the POJA was completely unrealistic and would never work. But we live it now, because we did the work of meeting emotional needs and eliminating love busters."

Thank you to all of you who helped us save our marriage. Hopefully, my son will come to you now for support on his journey.

Cgar
now 65 and married 43 years!


BS-57-Me
WS-57-husband
married 35 years
3 wonderful grown children
DDay2/6/00-he disclosed the day after the last child turned 21
Continuous E&PA-21 years-unknown to me
1+year of fog, now 4+ years of recovery, but on the right track!
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,589
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,589
Cgar,

There have been many changes in how the forum operates. There used to be quite a bit of blogging. Now, the threads on the forums are very focused on MB principles and their implementation.

Have you looked at the new materials? Dr. Harley recently published a revised edition of "Surviving an Affair". Does your son have that newest edition?

How long has your son been married? How many affairs has his wife had? Have these affairs been exposed?

AM

Last edited by armymama; 09/07/14 09:52 PM.

BW - 70
WH - 65
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 988
C
cgar Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 988
sorry, just trying to give hope and express gratitude


BS-57-Me
WS-57-husband
married 35 years
3 wonderful grown children
DDay2/6/00-he disclosed the day after the last child turned 21
Continuous E&PA-21 years-unknown to me
1+year of fog, now 4+ years of recovery, but on the right track!
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Please send your son here and we can help him with his wife's affairs.

Last edited by Jedi_Knight; 09/11/14 02:18 PM.
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 2,121
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 2,121
cgar,

Welcome back and great to hear you are doing so well!! That's good news.

And sorry for what? armymama was not criticizing your post. She was just alerting you to the fact the forums have changed a lot in recent years. They are very focused on advising & suggesting Dr Harley's advice to new members, not so much on personal opinions and other advice, like they used to be.

Thanks a lot for your update and hoping your son joins us.


Dday- Feb 1998
Recovered!!
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,589
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 2,589
Originally Posted by Nerlycrzy
cgar,

Welcome back and great to hear you are doing so well!! That's good news.

And sorry for what? armymama was not criticizing your post. She was just alerting you to the fact the forums have changed a lot in recent years. They are very focused on advising & suggesting Dr Harley's advice to new members, not so much on personal opinions and other advice, like they used to be.

Thanks a lot for your update and hoping your son joins us.

Absolutely, no need to apologize. Hopefully, your son will find help here.

AM


BW - 70
WH - 65
M - 35 years
D-day - 17 Apr 08
H broke contact 11/1/09
Back in love after the worst thing that every happened to us.
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 810
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 810
Originally Posted by cgar
Just recently, my husband who originally said the POJA would never work said "I thought the POJA was completely unrealistic and would never work. But we live it now, because we did the work of meeting emotional needs and eliminating love busters."
Hi cgar! I'm so happy that you came here and posted an inspiration for all of us.

Sorry though for what your son is going through. Yes by all means please bring him here, and let us know when he has posted.

Many of us newbies in recovery would love to hear how you and your husband worked through the POJA so well? What were the obstacles that you had to get through and how did you accomplish it?


DDays - six months of them
THANK YOU God and Marriage Builders.
We never knew that it could be this good! smile
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,209
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,209
Thanks for the update cgar. I have seen your post on the weekend forum and I am so glad that things have gone well for you. I always wonder how people are doing years after they went through the weekend program (now called the online program). What I have noticed is that those who stick with it, and make the behavioral adjustments which are necessary, end up having a much better marriage than before.

It's such a shame that this stuff isn't taught before marriage. But most people don't go into marriage thinking that they'll need it. Our kids think we're crazy when we bring it up. Oh well. We still do.

So hopefully your son can benefit now. smile


Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,116 guests, and 67 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5