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Joined: Nov 2011
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Is your wife an alcoholic?
I read about a lot of drinking in your posts.

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her mom and dad are alcholics. when we were together we would normally only drink at special occasions (parties, weddings, etc). we would occasionally drink a couple beers at home but rarely. since she's moved she has obviously met him at bars and she has beer in her fridge at home. she definately has had the gene passed down for addictive tendencies. and I've read alot about the chemicals released during affairs in the brain and could only imagine how easy it is for her to be or get addicted to "cheating"

#2825374 10/24/14 03:54 AM
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I have another thread http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2824230#Post2824230
if u need more details.
I texted my WW last night to tell her goodnight. ask if she's doin ok. she said she had a bad night. so i ask y what's wrong? she said she couldn't talk to me about it. then said that everyone keeps ignoring her that there must be something wrong with her.. I told her I'm not ignoring he she just keeps pushing me away.. she said it's not about me and said she can't talk to me about it.. i said oh it's about him (the OM).. and she just said goodnight. I told her if she needed to talk I'm here. and she didn't reply.. I need advice on what to do next..should I continue with the limited contact that I have had and let her figure it out. or keep trying to get her to open up..??



Last edited by MBeliever; 10/24/14 07:27 AM. Reason: Please stick with one thread.
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I think this is a great opportunity for your Plan A and to try to make love bank deposits.

Its likely the exposure is causing problems for the A. OM's family is probably alienating/confronting him about destroying another family. And he is probably wondering if she is really worth it and maybe making her make tough decisions.

Can you bring her a favorite lunch with a note showing concern for her. And saying something like you wish there was more you could do for her.


Also I haven't seen anyone suggest that you get antidepressant medication. They will help you not to get stuck in the pain she is causing you and help you to be the better choice and soft landing place when she spirals out of control.


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so I continued with the plan A. showed her concern. she was receptive at first then the mood swung all the way to the other end.. the conversation ended before to bad of an argument started. it's almost like she's fighting with herself to pick the other guy.. she keeps bringing up stuff from all the way back before we even got married to justify why we should have never got married.. some of the stuff she says she can never forgive me for.. but it was no where near or even close to what she's doing right now.. its very frustrating for me to see her get so defensive when all I'm trying to do is help her. it's a never ending battle it seems.

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well my boss at work happened to be surfing his dating websites and came across my wife.. apparently it's time for plan b..

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You have only been in Plan A for 10 days? You are not ready for Plan B.


Markos' Wife
FWW - EA
8 kids ...
What to do with an Angry Husband

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Originally Posted by jeffropappy
well my boss at work happened to be surfing his dating websites and came across my wife.. apparently it's time for plan b..

Although this news no doubt upset you, if you want a chance to recover your marriage and raise your children in an intact family, stay in Plan A. Plan B is much further down the timeline. You can do Plan A for about six months without much harm to your health.


Married 1980
DDay Nov 2010

Recovered thanks to Marriage Builders
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If you go to Plan B now, it will almost certainly be the end of your marriage. You still have a good chance of winning her back. It'll take some time -- 10 days is no where long enough.


Markos' Wife
FWW - EA
8 kids ...
What to do with an Angry Husband

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