You call important people in the lives of you, your wife and the other man's life and either speak to them personally to ask them for help in using their influence on your wife/the other man to make them stop their inappropriate relationship.

You do not tell them to retaliate, but to ask for their help in stopping the affair. You do all exposure at once. See
http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2566617

Your best help is to follow Melody Lane's thread which she has pulled from Dr Harley's guidelines. Do you have Dr Harely's book Surviving an Affair?

Also consider getting one on one coaching from Steve Harley or write to MB Radio. Its just that you seem to have an easy time tripping on your own 'hopes' rather than actually killing the affair.

I exposed the affair. WW says I've gone to far , wouldn't belive her is mad kicked me out at 130 she was talking to OM. Told me now she would go f OM since I accused her. At 330 I cam home and am on couch. I did the exposue via fb using the template. She is agreeing now it was an EA and wanted me to clarify to the 18ppl I sent it to it was an EA not affair. I did but called it equally as damaging to our marriage. So now what WW displays all predicted reactions???? Little more help?

I would contact important family members of her directly. Also, did you contact the family of OM? Did you follow the link to exposure 101 and hit the most important targets?

Do NOT leave your house.
Do NOT allow her to get you to change the story. If you did that, you lost your credibiliity. My goodness, be a man, dont let a addict tell you what to do.

Did you expose to all family, kids, relatives, other friends, neighbors, clergy, etc?

Yes I used fb and exposed to her close family friends and the om separted wife I included her which i thought I was supposed to she imideatly began reading it to the om and began damage control. Ww stated if I expose any further it will make it worse.

Clinton: You need to show your wife you are a leader. You need to show her you are doing whatever you need to do to save your marriage. Tell her you are right and she is wrong and that's why you need to take control. He has no respect for you right now. If she leaves you, and if she is furious with you....she will respect you.

I can do that. She has squased it pretty good all her family has not contacted me yet.

I am sorry to read that you "clarified" it was an EA to your exposure targets. Please don't placate your WS anymore at the expense of your credibility.

You shouldn't leave your home and and you shouldn't sleep on the couch.

Have you contacted her family yourself and asked them to contact her?

Have you exposed the affair to the OM's wife?

Did you expose to her mother? To whom did you expose this affair? And what did you tell them? I hope you didn't write the same gobbledy [censored] we see here.

You contacted the 18 people you exposed to and told them it was an emotional affair because she told you to?
Sir, you are being bullied by your wife.
Don't let her kick you out of your home!

Sir,
From this point forward use these sentences to communicate with your wife:

"I am willing to work with you to create a loving romantic marriage but you must first end your affair with OM"

Just repeat that over and over

I feel she is out with him tonight she has pulled damage control on her family.
This made her so she doesn't want to fix us says makes her want to run to hom. I don't think this will have the desired results with her. She constantly always has asked not to share our issues outside this marriage. Yes I do feel she may be bullying me she was supposed to move out but hasnt she has said this I a phase before. I'm going to play the carrot and stick and keep with your statement.

That is quite a contradiction coming from someone who has brought a third party into your marriage by engaging in an affair. If she wanted to 'keep things in the marriage' than she would be working with you on the marriage, not engaging in an affair.

Sir, can you answer these questions please.

i sent it to OM Wife her mom and close family and friends. she didnt mind the faimily but says the friends were to far. W is writting me a letter today to express how she is feeling aparently communicating via text is not easy for her anymore. I used the template here and modified it to suit this exposure. i have no idea if it will have any desired consiquence as best evidence i have is a recording of her being to friendly with the OM and then calling me a psyco in that convo i confirmed it with the phone log.

The cheating spouse does not get to set limits to exposure of their affair. Follow Dr. Harley's plan. It is tried and true. She is spitting mad. That means you are succeeding.

You didn't get to set limits on her relationship with OM, did you? Follow the MB plan for best results.

no I have not set a plan for Plan A. let me give you an example of yesterday. 6am i leave give WW a kiss on the forehead and say "have a good day".

I work 7-4

WW got called into work drops kid off for 830 at work for 930 am
worked till 11pm but said she had to stay till other nurse showed up.

i pick up daughter at 4 dance 430 picke her up at 530 go to dinner at moms. kido goes to bed 830 I goto bed at 930pm.

WW got in the house at 1136 eats something she bought at applebees suposedly yesterday.
goes to bed 12pm.

we have almost no working relashionship due to her nursing hours. sadly and im not wanting to be controling but her job doesnt meet either of our EN's or PN's. she also works with all the ppl she has been hanging out with to included suspected OM.

if i were to idealy set boundries it would include a day job. and NC with OM.

WW is very defensive about changing her job WW has applied for a day position within the CO. and is being considered for the position. thats as far as that goes so far.

I have kept the house clean. and friendly at this point. we are comunicating with out LB's for 2 days halloween was not so good. WW saw my family nad the exposure and how WW felt the behaved pissed WW off alot.

WW text she will be grocery shopping today and if i could make out a list of what i would need/want. she has not shopped for me since we went together over a month 1/2 ago.

WW also has been laying out my clothes for me.

I feel me not being jelous or LB and making small talk is having positve affects.

however no plan other than continue marriage counseling( which our counselor is focused on me and my issues and wont see WW till i am less emotional which i actually feel i am as im not LB'ing anymore so far. i have also stopped digging and looking at phone log as it makes me jelous i continue to assume she is with OM. i was told she took my daughter to the circus with friends and children and OM was there Sunday.