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It's interesting to me that the WS and AP seem to enjoy foglighting the BS. OM had a very snide demeanor with me (e.g. "yeah you think you know a lot") until I started presenting evidence at which point he backpedaled and pulled out the textbook absurd excuses. WW at this point isn't trying anymore in the limited communication we have, she's more on the "I wanted to leave when OM and I started so it's not cheating" or "this is your fault, OM has nothing to do with it" bandwagon. But obviously there has been discussion between them about what I do or do not know about the A, and they enjoy feeling like I'm in the dark on things.

That's just bizarre to me. I guess they just really need to feel like there's an antagonist to fill the "crazy ex" spot in their narrative.


Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders"
2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more.

When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29
Married: 7 years
Together: 8 years
D-day: 10/5/2014
D filed: 1/22/2015
D Final: 6/4/2015

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They have to keep lying or the whole fantasy crumbles. People see through the lies more than you may realize.
The wayward has lost all credibility with others and likely doesn't even realize it.
Expect more demonizing, that is the reason exposure needs to be fast and wide spread.
Their crash will come, from all the stressors that have now plagued their fantasy.

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Affairees are usually desperate to justify the affair and come up with all kinds of ridiculous excuses. They will rewrite marital history so that only the bad things are remembered and none of the good things and often pick fights so they can say, "See, we don't get along; our marriage is a mistake."

There is a certain thrill to some affairees about the secrecy and intrigue involved with the affair.

Expect to hear a lot of nonsense. Try not to react to it.


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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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I'll check out that thread BrainHurts, I've read some similar ones. It's amazing how uncreative the waywards are (and the APs!), like they are all reading the same script without realizing it exists. There's another one in the Recovery Forum about Alien Abduction of the WS that describes wayward behaviors to a T, just uncanny.

Sheriff just stopped by to inform me that OM filed a restraining order against me but it was ALSO denied. LOL

Poor guy. Someone should get him a tissue.


Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders"
2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more.

When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29
Married: 7 years
Together: 8 years
D-day: 10/5/2014
D filed: 1/22/2015
D Final: 6/4/2015

My story
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Originally Posted by axslinger85
Sheriff just stopped by to inform me that OM filed a restraining order against me but it was ALSO denied. LOL

Poor guy. Someone should get him a tissue.

Find out what judge denied it and make sure you vote for him in future elections.
Maybe send $10 to his re-election campaign

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Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Originally Posted by axslinger85
Sheriff just stopped by to inform me that OM filed a restraining order against me but it was ALSO denied. LOL

Poor guy. Someone should get him a tissue.

Find out what judge denied it and make sure you vote for him in future elections.
Maybe send $10 to his re-election campaign

No joke!


Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders"
2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more.

When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29
Married: 7 years
Together: 8 years
D-day: 10/5/2014
D filed: 1/22/2015
D Final: 6/4/2015

My story
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I'm guessing that you found the source of the RO crap, if he was that quick to file.

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^agreed


Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders"
2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more.

When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29
Married: 7 years
Together: 8 years
D-day: 10/5/2014
D filed: 1/22/2015
D Final: 6/4/2015

My story
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Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Originally Posted by axslinger85
Sheriff just stopped by to inform me that OM filed a restraining order against me but it was ALSO denied. LOL

Poor guy. Someone should get him a tissue.

Find out what judge denied it and make sure you vote for him in future elections.
Maybe send $10 to his re-election campaign


Ha ha that's funny!!

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Hey Axe,
you my friend are a bad a%�!!
Man I'm glad my W affair didn't go like yours, I'm not sure I could take it. I'm glad my W affair was over on D day.
You are doing it right! Grind your teeth and hang in there!
I'm praying for you!

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Your wife is on a dead end street and deep down she knows it. I don't think her affair is built to last. Most aren't. Have you sent her a letter?

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I'm going to write the letter and send it tomorrow. I did send her a Facebook message yesterday mentioning my discussion with OM.

Also she's now deleted her Facebook account, apparently.


Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders"
2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more.

When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29
Married: 7 years
Together: 8 years
D-day: 10/5/2014
D filed: 1/22/2015
D Final: 6/4/2015

My story
Joined: Nov 2010
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Originally Posted by axslinger85
I'm going to write the letter and send it tomorrow. I did send her a Facebook message yesterday mentioning my discussion with OM.

Also she's now deleted her Facebook account, apparently.
Or she may have just blocked you.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Originally Posted by axslinger85
I'm going to write the letter and send it tomorrow. I did send her a Facebook message yesterday mentioning my discussion with OM.

Also she's now deleted her Facebook account, apparently.
Or she may have just blocked you.

Yes, a friend told me this is what happened. Blocked me and unfriended several of my close friends. Not sure about my family but I'd guess the same. So weird, I had not sent her anything but Plan A stuff, very careful about no DJs (though I almost sent that message last week that had several). Even my words about confronting OM didn't speak at all to her conduct, just that I was obligated to defend my marriage and thus he and I had to have a chit-chat. Also my response to her on Cheaterville quoted a post she made on FB about how she loved me to defuse a claim she made about not loving me before she met OM. I didn't rub her nose in it as much as asking her to compare it with what she wrote in her own comment.

I know unfriending on Facebook is a drop in the bucket compared to the rest of what she's done to me, but it's just weird. I also wonder if she's cleaning her profile of any references to me...she posted a LOT about us/me on there. Pictures, videos, stories, etc. We were pretty openly affectionate and playful online.

She did provide an email address for me that she had created since this all started, and I still have the letters relay via MIL so I'm not totally cut off yet I guess.


Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders"
2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more.

When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29
Married: 7 years
Together: 8 years
D-day: 10/5/2014
D filed: 1/22/2015
D Final: 6/4/2015

My story
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How are things going Axe?

LTL

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Originally Posted by LearnedTooLate
How are things going Axe?

LTL

Please do tell.

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Not much for an update. I've been keeping myself busy. MIL and FIL will text me occasionally with a note about things with WW or their thoughts/prayers for our situation, but otherwise I'm in the dark on her.

Her family seems to be pretty upset about how she's gone no contact on me. Talked to a BIL the other day and he apologized to me and said the no contact thing is "unacceptable". Seemed like he was beside himself. I'm at a loss for words in a discussion like that, but I do appreciate him taking the time to check in on me.

I do email her a verse/thought from my daily Bible reading and a short note that I love her and am praying for her each morning. I try to share where it is helping me grow or mature in areas that were problems for us. Not condescending prayers, just prayers of protection and such. No responses yet. I try to keep it very brief, maybe a paragraph or two tops.

Some of my friends and family said they weren't blocked on FB, so whatever that's about seems to have been kinda kneejerk rather than methodical. It's about to get very cold where I live and I think the reality of her choices might set in a little more clearly, especially with her walking everywhere.

No idea what to expect from here since I'm out of the loop. I just take it a day at a time, try not to spin my wheels on "figuring out" what her actions mean, and work on providing a safe and comfortable landing spot for her if she decides to come back. My gut feeling is that things will fall apart for her knowing the details that I do know, but not sure what to expect after that happens.


Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders"
2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more.

When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29
Married: 7 years
Together: 8 years
D-day: 10/5/2014
D filed: 1/22/2015
D Final: 6/4/2015

My story
Joined: Sep 2014
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I am listening to the MB Radio broadcasts each day though. smile

Learning a lot.


Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders"
2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more.

When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29
Married: 7 years
Together: 8 years
D-day: 10/5/2014
D filed: 1/22/2015
D Final: 6/4/2015

My story
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,311
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Originally Posted by axslinger85
Not much for an update. I've been keeping myself busy. MIL and FIL will text me occasionally with a note about things with WW or their thoughts/prayers for our situation, but otherwise I'm in the dark on her.

Her family seems to be pretty upset about how she's gone no contact on me. Talked to a BIL the other day and he apologized to me and said the no contact thing is "unacceptable". Seemed like he was beside himself. I'm at a loss for words in a discussion like that, but I do appreciate him taking the time to check in on me.

I do email her a verse/thought from my daily Bible reading and a short note that I love her and am praying for her each morning. I try to share where it is helping me grow or mature in areas that were problems for us. Not condescending prayers, just prayers of protection and such. No responses yet. I try to keep it very brief, maybe a paragraph or two tops.

Some of my friends and family said they weren't blocked on FB, so whatever that's about seems to have been kinda kneejerk rather than methodical. It's about to get very cold where I live and I think the reality of her choices might set in a little more clearly, especially with her walking everywhere.

No idea what to expect from here since I'm out of the loop. I just take it a day at a time, try not to spin my wheels on "figuring out" what her actions mean, and work on providing a safe and comfortable landing spot for her if she decides to come back. My gut feeling is that things will fall apart for her knowing the details that I do know, but not sure what to expect after that happens.

You're doing a great job in Plan A, Axe.

Other than making Plan A deposits, it's time to sit and wait. Keep us posted with further developments. God bless.

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