Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#2846504 03/06/15 10:28 AM
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 26
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 26
Hello,

I have reason to believe that my husband confessed to cheating on me on a website. The username of the author raised a red flag. When I read the post there were certain events that were very similar, and things that I have suspected happened in this specific trip. The author writes like my husband as well. There are a lot of similarities in this specific post which makes me believe that it is my husband. But, I don't have proof.

I confronted my husband and he denied. I contacted the moderator of the website, and they gave me the person's IP addresses that they were using, and the email they used to register on the website.

This person used CloudFire to hide their true IP address. They used 8 different IP addresses. I also have the email address they used to register their account.

My husband is a computer guy and knows how to hide his IP address. He creates software for computers. He is extremely smart.

My gut tells me this is him, but I have no proof. I am not sure what my options are.

Is there anyway that you can trace an email address? What about if the person uses fake IP addresses to hide their true IP address? I already paid for Spokeo to look up the reverse email address and that didn't work.

Is it common for people to hide their IP address when they post on these type of forums?

What are my options? Thank you!


Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,788
Likes: 2
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,788
Likes: 2
Originally Posted by summer42
My gut tells me this is him, but I have no proof. I am not sure what my options are.


Always trust your gut. It is far more reliable than you think.

Originally Posted by summer42
Is there anyway that you can trace an email address? What about if the person uses fake IP addresses to hide their true IP address? I already paid for Spokeo to look up the reverse email address and that didn't work.

No, if he used a VPN to anonymise his address, you cannot trace it. However, people eventually slip up so keep watching.

Originally Posted by summer42
Is it common for people to hide their IP address when they post on these type of forums?

No idea how common it is but an IT guy would easily be able to do this. A VPN can be enabled by a mouse click.

Originally Posted by summer42
What are my options? Thank you!


Do not confront him, do not tell him you know anything as he will just take this further underground and start snooping. Let us know if you need help with this.


3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by summer42
My gut tells me this is him, but I have no proof. I am not sure what my options are.

I see that you have been here for a year and a half but I can't read your old posts. That is very concerning because it tells me you are no further along than this. If it were me, I would be demanding he come clean and pass a polygprah or I would separate. Living a life of secrets where you don't have the truth about your own life is a nightmare. It is a cruel and manipulative game you husband is playing.

Will he take a polygraph?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
I would give him a chance to give you every detail about his secret life and then pass a polygraph to verify he has told you the full truth. If he won't do that, then you have nothing here to save but a sick, destructive marriage that will ruin your emotional and physical health. This is no way to live.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by summer42
My gut tells me this is him, but I have no proof. I am not sure what my options are.

I see that you have been here for a year and a half but I can't read your old posts. That is very concerning because it tells me you are no further along than this.

Yes. frown


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,116 guests, and 67 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5