Sorry for the length but I give up on my attempt to condense. Typos, bad grammar can be blamed on Dday related brain damage and me just not wanting to fix at this point.
DDay #1, Mar 2008: Woke up on a Saturday morning and saw my WH�s cell phone on the nightstand. WH had been keeping his phone on/near him 24/7...had a feeling to take a look. The phone was not password protected as it had been for months prior (claimed sensitive work info on his phone and that employer required password). Found text messages of �I love you� and �I miss you� along with some nude photos. Sucker punched! I sat in bed a few minutes trying to process what I found...kept thinking �Did I just read what I read? How could you?�
I was not familiar with his phone and couldn�t figure out how to copy/forward the texts/photos to my email/phone. I was too shaken and fumbling with the phone so even if I had known what I was doing not sure it would have mattered. Told myself to pull it together...I sat there another minute thinking of what to do...pure disbelief.
My kids were still asleep and WH had fallen asleep in the other room (was up late watching TV). Like people describe their lives flashing before their eyes when faced with a trauma, that is the best way I can describe what went through my mind in a matter of seconds...thinking of the all the things I had done for WH throughout our marriage, especially in recent years, and how messed up this was. My feelings went from a combination of disbelief and sorrow to PISSED and I got out of bed...how DARE you!!!
Took the cell phone and walked over to a sleeping WH. My face being about 4 inches from his, I firmly but calmly said , �Get your sh&t and get the eff out of my house� then dropped the phone on his chest. His eyes popped open and they were BIG!!! Exposed to my kids that same morning; my eldest was eight then.
Plan D/FU!!! There was no way I was going to be divorced with some sugarcoated 'we just grew apart' bull. I left the house when I couldn�t stand being there for another minute, drove to a vacant parking lot and exposed to my sister and my best friend as a crying mess. I told my sister, I was struggling about whether or not I should contact the BH...thinking about it was twisting my stomach in knots. She asked me a simple question, �Would you want to know?� I had my answer.
WH was desperate to convince me it wasn't what it looked like...typical [censored] covering mode and the trickle truth began. I was never buying his lame stories. For the most part, I ignored his gaslighting and trickle truth but was still a messed up ball of anger and grief. Sunday, I searched for OWH and found him. OW was a high school classmate who had always had a crush on WH; reconnected via classmates.com. I would have exposed Monday but I was a tired wreck and called in sick from work. Tuesday afternoon, I pulled the trigger. I exposed to OWH by email to his work.
OWH (who also turned out to be a serial cheater...woo hoo!
) thanked me for contacting him and sent me more info...I felt lightheaded. Each email he sent had more questions and included dates, places, etc. Any sliver of hope that I had of nothing physical was crushed. He wanted to talk so I called him. I was working in the field when I exposed to OWH during my lunch hour so I drove home...thank God I was only 5 miles away and WH had left for a business trip that morning or I would have been in jail or a hospital.
and
Texted WH while driving home to call him a pig and had some other choice words then hung up. WH repeatedly tried calling me back and I ignored. I get home and expose to SIL and MIL....both shocked...OMG...WTH? Disbelief. Both are supportive and want to slap WH and OW. Call WH to tell him him his dirty little secret is out of the bag as I have spoken to OWH. WH strokes out when I tell him his mother and sister know too. FU WH! Click!!
In contact with OWH later that day to exchange more info, connect the dots, make a timeline, etc. I was sure WH and OW were in contact trying to get their story together but I didn't care if they had contact at that point...the losers could have each other!! Expose to my parents. Everyone is angry, hurt, disappointed, disgusted, and telling me 150 things. My kids are crying and upset. My head is dizzy. I am in a new state (due to WH�s job) with no close friends or family members within thousands of miles. The A turned physical a couple months before we moved. I thought we were moving for a better family life among other things... so additional resentment for me.
x 1000000!
Given WH's FOO with a deadbeat dad who cheated on his mom, I/SIL/MIL couldn't believe he was bring this hell into our family. Lots of messed up family dynamics/drama and conflict avoidance in WH's family. Without writing a novel, let's just say WH�s childhood had many hardships that no child should have to live through. His mom left when WH was about 4. WH hasn�t been in contact with his sperm donor father in almost 30 yrs except for maybe one or two brief phone calls that went nowhere other than his father being a jerk and blaming his mom. He has always thought his father was an ahole loser for the way he treated his mom, him and his sis. WH�s maternal grandfather also cheated and married his OW...they are still married today but it created a family rift that is still present.
So my MIL had a cheater dad, a cheater husband, and now a cheater son. Facing his mom was difficult for him. I know how much WH�s adultery hurt her. I didn't know if my in-laws would still be my in-laws, but one thing I did know...my inlaws would NEVER welcome OW into the family...I never had doubt about that. MIL wanted to get on a plane and kick OW�s [censored].
Since WH�s dad was a deadbeat and his mom was a young SAHM, they struggled financially. He later had an abusive �stepdad� in the picture. His mom eventually left that guy too. I know none of this excuses WH's behavior but I think some of it explains his bad coping skills, workaholic mindset and wanting attention/approval from people. He is a HUGE admiration/attention junkie. Having a successful career fed WH�s ego/admiration need as well as his desire to give his family a better life...and "prove himself." Sadly, nothing was ever enough for WH and he worked like a dog at the expense of me, the children and our marriage. I was like a married single mother in many ways. I had always admired that in spite of his crappy childhood WH was a pretty neat, hard working guy. He was very likable and had a great outlook. He lost sight of what was important.
To be continued....
He said the blood draining from her face was priceless...about the only thing BH and I laughed about during all this garbage. BH goes ballistic and exposes his WW to the world. When I say the world....BH left work after our initial email exchange/phone call and went up and down their street to tell the neighbors that his wife is a whore, slut, etc. as well as anyone else he encountered. 
He went to their children�s school and told the staff (and whoever else who happened to be around) the same. As much as I hated OW at the moment, I did feel bad for her a bit...but that did not last long as she made the mistake of opening her mouth again. And yeah I had a smiling moment too when I found out about all this but it was soon replaced by feelings of how much hurt and trauma was involved for a person to act like that. 
Did I just think that in Church on the holiest of days?...oops. Oh well I guess that lighting bolt that would have been sorta cool to strike WH in the forehead right then and there could ricochet and zap me too.