Never underestimate the level a nasty wayward will fall. I am living proof. My WxH and his whore didn't work out. Then he went off into lala land. I wouldn't reconcile with him on several occasions. He's been floating out there in delusional world ever since he left.

The happier my life becomes the more bitterness and vengeance my WxH is seeping on my kids and I; even after all these years I am his one and only target to blame.

I am in a current court case that has my WxH filing everything and anything he can at me. He has dragged me to court over and over and over again, and he has no plans to stop. When in such a high conflict case sometimes mediation is a better option because the trained mediator can see the crap and can help find a solution.

High conflict divorces, especially with awful waywards will take a toll. Even for me who is quite strong am at the breaking point.

Do you think that if the two of you had gone through mediation, he wouldn't be blaming you and dragging you back into court over and over? I may be wrong, but it seems to me that he is looking for any excuse, and mediation wouldn't have prevented that.

PW, my IM had to stop, because it was really wearing on her emotionally. Obviously, the situation was much harder for me, but she had to quit not because she doesn't care about me or think I needed protection, but because she cares so much. I have an IM who is much less emotionally invested, and it is working out really well. I hope getting a new IM let's you and your friend just be friends again. And that your new IM works out really well for you.

I don't have a new IM yet. I am still looking for one. Again, if anyone can do it, please let me know ( no single men-- thanks Jedi for volunteering, but they won't put me in touch with single men, which is understandable).

Brits Brat just volunteered.

Brits_Brat offered, and I thought your response to her was very ungracious. You did not even acknowledge the offer.

Agreed.

I thought she was offering mediation or suggesting mediation over doing IM. The offer reads, "I'm available, but I think mediation is better.."

I am happy to talk to her and clarify what that meant. It read to me as, "I'm offering, but I think you should do something else." My response was that I would rather not mediate because I don't think it's helpful. My intention was not to be ungracious.

I understood it this way, too. I didn't see piglet as being ungracious, just looking for an IM who is on the same page. I'll be honest, I would be afraid to have an IM who said from the get-go that she disagreed with how I'm doing everything.

Well, I think it's ungracious not even to acknowledge and thank Brit for the offer, while respectfully declining it.

Yes, it seemed a bit scary to accept because I didn't quite know if it was actually an offer or not. However, if it was, I apologize for being ungracious.

In any case I've been thinking about this a lot and I don't feel quite happy on the boards anymore overall and I don't think it's very healthy for me to be here, so I'll respectfully leave. I appreciate the assistance I've gotten so far and will be forever grateful for everyone's advice. I'll work to find an IM that will fit my needs as my daughter grows.

I am resolved that my future no longer will ever again involve my WH and will avoid him for the rest of my life. I am happy with that decision and am ready to move on.

I pray that things all work out for the best, PW. God bless.

Just because someone calls you out doesn't mean you leave. This isn't high school anymore.

Girl, you've got to toughen up. You have a very nasty wayward on your hands, and if you can't get up strength to take it from an anonymous board, then I fear you will not be strong enough to handle your WH. With a three year old you have many years ahead of you.

The best advice in a high conflict divorce is to know all angles and to head advice from all walks of life. Brits_Brat is one that has been there done that; I couldn't imagine a better person in my corner ... especially fighting a nasty wayward.

People drive me crazy all the time, but that doesn't mean I need to take anything they say to heart. Some of my most fearsome critics have given me the best darn advice against my vile and cruel WxH.

Put on your big girl panties and nail down the areas where your WH can see weakness. That weakness is his strength, and there is nothing more powerful than a wayward in front of the court of law tearing you down bit by bit because he knows that is where it hurts.

Piglet, I wish you all the best.

The way I read it, Brits Brat simply stated their
willingness to IM
their particular field in life (and that what they do for a living is something they believe in....since you are planning to divorce and have nothing to do with WH).

Mediation doesn't need direct contact, btw.

You are free to move onward without this site though. It can be a lifesaver but moving on is okay.

I will definitely miss reading every one of your posts if and when you do leave.

I do understand though, because sometimes the advice or offers seem like a slap in the face.

Please find a good non-emotional driven IM to assist you, although I feel the inner strength you have proven to yourself that you do have will carry you through.

Who knows for sure how your WH will continue to act as the court dates loom closer as each day ticks off of the calendar.

He may get more aggressive to feel like he is finally putting his foot down, or he may finally begin the wither away, out of sight, out of mind.

Whatever you do, my Prayers are with you and I will miss seeing your User Name, as it constantly reminds me of when my Son was a Toddler and we would watch the Winnie The Pooh movies together, endlessly always feeling closer and closer to each other.

I haven't mentioned this on the boards yet, but I went through having Both of my knees replaced and my Son STILL, to this day gives me a kiss on my head every timevhe walks past me, probably because I was away in the hospital since July 17th till just this week. I wound up having 3 additional knee surgeries due to Staff infections.

Treads on this forum from Very Strong Spouses, such as yourself, kept me going and occupied while I continuously laid prone in the hospital bed with one of my knees totally immobilized to prevent the wound incision from opening up again.

God Bless You Piglet Wiglet, for you have achieved a great deal of personal independence and success.

LTL

PW,

I'd encourage you to stick around. Each of us leaves a little story for someone later to draw hope, wisdom and encouragement from when they are in the midst of their own world collapsing. You are so articulate and strong/consistent that I think your voice missing on illustrating your journey would be a loss to the community present and future.

There are some very terse exchanges on here from time to time but from what I see there are mostly BSes here who have been through that common journey to Hell and back, and I think the strong personalities on this board are a byproduct of that. MB is also a very detail-oriented framework which I think lends itself to a greater need for clarification-type discussions.

My $.02 from experience are that until your divorce is finalized for at least a few months it's still a very hard situation emotionally for a BS and I'd encourage you to stay for the support here as well.

Best of luck to you if you decide to leave and thanks for your encouragement over the last year.

for what its worth, I too interpreted Brit Brat's comments as telling you to disregard Dr. Harley's Plan B advice.

But often people here move on because the site can be a painful reminder.

Did seem like a bit of ganging up here. If it's not high school, then why are people deciding to call each other out? Brits Brats seems fully capable of taking care of herself.