Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our discussion forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 2 of 2 1 2
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 21
J
Junior Member
OP Offline
Junior Member
J
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 21
I don't know. I thought I'd try smirk

Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 21
J
Junior Member
OP Offline
Junior Member
J
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 21
I appreciate your input. Thank you. I was beginning to think something was wrong with me.

Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 21
J
Junior Member
OP Offline
Junior Member
J
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 21
I did have spyware on his personal phone, then he had it "reset" because he said it was using too much data. I think he had an idea there was something on it though, because it's been on his phone for 6+ months, and there was no "data problem" in the past.

Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 21
K
KPT Offline
Junior Member
Offline
Junior Member
K
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 21
Did you find anything on his phone?
Did you try and talk to him?

Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 21
J
Junior Member
OP Offline
Junior Member
J
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 21
I have to say that I don't regret putting spyware on his phone. I think I had/have a right to know who he is calling and what he is doing. At the very least where he is. I noticed some contacts were changed from a female name to a similar male name, but for the same #. I didn't bring that up because then he would know. BUT when I try to look at anything on his phone he is extremely on guard. Interesting that I got the app on in the first place.

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
Did you speak to him about the chastity belt?

Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362
Likes: 3
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362
Likes: 3
Originally Posted by junie136
I noticed some contacts were changed from a female name to a similar male name, but for the same #.
redflag This is a red flag, and you need to keep snooping. Do not talk to him about it.


Markos' Wife
FWW - EA
8 kids ...
What to do with an Angry Husband

Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 94
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 94


Quote
I know that he must be masturbating or something because when we do have sex, and he "ejaculates" there is hardly anything there.

As others have said, it could be other factors (stress, health conditions) but in light of additional evidence you've shared, this sounds like masturbation or worse.

Quote
He always says he never masturbates.

Right. crazy He could be lying or he could be having an affair and actually isn't masturbating.

Quote
I have a phone app on his phone, but he hasn't let me on his computer, I only have a user account.

If he is getting satisfaction outside of his relationship with you then of course he doesn't want you to know. In a caring relationship, you don't hide anything from your spouse.

Quote
5 months into our relationship I found he had been "chatting" with prospects on dating sites (dated 4-5 months into our relationship). Also phone #'s on sticky notes (that may have been from before we were dating). That was a year ago. Now he says I should trust him no questions asked. I'm not ready to do that yet. He accuses me of having "trust issues

Were you exclusive to each other at this point? How long have you been married? If you were exclusive to each other then this is very suspicious. Some guys (like me blush ) have a hard time committing to one woman through no fault of the woman. Dr. Harley talks about this a lot on the radio show. He calls this a renters relationship. He has a book on this topic:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6080_buyer.html

Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 21
J
Junior Member
OP Offline
Junior Member
J
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 21
Hi everyone, The article on snooping says:

Don't be separated overnight. But if it's impossible to avoid, create precautions that would make having an affair while you're apart essentially impossible.

My question is, How do you make it essentially impossible? I would just like more clarification. Thanks

Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 21
J
Junior Member
OP Offline
Junior Member
J
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 21
He refused the chastity belt. He did allow me to "see if it would fit". I couldn't get it around the testicles and he wasn't helping. I know, I know.

Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 21
J
Junior Member
OP Offline
Junior Member
J
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 21
Yes, we were exclusive to each other at the time. It's kind of surprising because he had the profiles printed and under some other papers in a corner. I know that on Facebook he's recently "poked" women that were his friends too. Printed and saved that screen.

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by junie136
Hi everyone, The article on snooping says:

Don't be separated overnight. But if it's impossible to avoid, create precautions that would make having an affair while you're apart essentially impossible.

My question is, How do you make it essentially impossible? I would just like more clarification. Thanks

Why is it "impossible" to be together every night?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Originally Posted by Prisca
How old are you and how long have you been married? Any children? Any history of affairs or porn use?
Could you please answer these?


I didn't see this answered. How long married? Any kids?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,389
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,389
Are you actually married?

You said you had been dating for 4-5 months a year ago, how new is this marriage?


Page 2 of 2 1 2

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 61 guests, and 49 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Dodo M, Kingpin, MikaylaVaux, I.P., Alex82
71,727 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,545
Posts2,322,787
Members71,728
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2020, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.  |  Web Development by SunStar Media.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5