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If she is leaving bruises on your daughters face its a serious problem.
i dont know what to tell you. **EDIT** yet your daughter now has a bruise on her face.
Dr. Harley is very clear that safety comes first and i would encourage you to report it to the police while she can still be examined.
Can i ask what virtues your wife has that you find attractive?

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Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
If she is leaving bruises on your daughters face its a serious problem.
i dont know what to tell you. **EDIT** yet your daughter now has a bruise on her face.
Dr. Harley is very clear that safety comes first and i would encourage you to report it to the police while she can still be examined.
Can i ask what virtues your wife has that you find attractive?

Well right now none, she had done a 360 in the way she acts.
but what i used to love was how much family meant to her, she was hard working, sweet, thoughtful, and tried to make everyone feel special that here her friends.

it just breaks my heart to see her do a 360 and treat me like i am a stranger in my own home frown


BH 34
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Married 4 years
DD 11 and 4
DS 1
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Did you report the bruise to the doctor or the police?
Dr. Harley strongly advocates consequences for abusers. It places them on notice that abuse will not be tolerated.

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Originally Posted by RonClark
Well right now none, she had done a 360 in the way she acts.
but what i used to love was how much family meant to her, she was hard working, sweet, thoughtful, and tried to make everyone feel special that here her friends.

it just breaks my heart to see her do a 360 and treat me like i am a stranger in my own home frown

Right now im more concerned about your daughter than your heart and you should be too.
unfortunately its your step daughter so that complicates the matter.
I think you should email dr. Harley for advice. I dont know how you can plan a an abusive woman


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Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Originally Posted by RonClark
Well right now none, she had done a 360 in the way she acts.
but what i used to love was how much family meant to her, she was hard working, sweet, thoughtful, and tried to make everyone feel special that here her friends.

it just breaks my heart to see her do a 360 and treat me like i am a stranger in my own home frown

Right now im more concerned about your daughter than your heart and you should be too.
unfortunately its your step daughter so that complicates the matter.
I think you should email dr. Harley for advice. I dont know how you can plan a an abusive woman

I know things are pretty complicated I am not 100% if I should involve the police just yet. I don't want her to end up some were like foster care. I am scared of CPS.
I want to have things in place before I push things. It would crush her and I if she ends up away from me and the other kids could be affected too with CPS.


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Well wont the teachers at school ask about the bruise?
Does she have a lie she is telling people who ask?

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I had a talk with the lawyer about this and he said just document it and if it happens again we will move in it. with just one instance its hard to do anything about it he said.


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Originally Posted by RonClark
I had a talk with the lawyer about this and he said just document it and if it happens again we will move in it. with just one instance its hard to do anything about it he said.

There is a general consensus that male abusers are prevalent and females and children are their victims. Society perpetuates this concept but the fact is that there are more female abusers. Harley mentioned an Australian study on his Radio Show once which found there were more men going to the hospital with spousal injuries than women but men typically dont report these events to the police.

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Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Harley mentioned an Australian study on his Radio Show once which found there were more men going to the hospital with spousal injuries than women but men typically dont report these events to the police.


I wonder if it is true everywhere or just in Australia? I have a darling nephew married to an Australian girl that hits him. Nothing has ever been reported to the police as it is considered a source of shame and embarrassment to admit that your wife hits you.

There is no doubt that domestic violence is passed down. Incredibly important to protect children from it or they will become abusers as adults.


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Originally Posted by living_well
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Harley mentioned an Australian study on his Radio Show once which found there were more men going to the hospital with spousal injuries than women but men typically dont report these events to the police.


I wonder if it is true everywhere or just in Australia? I have a darling nephew married to an Australian girl that hits him. Nothing has ever been reported to the police as it is considered a source of shame and embarrassment to admit that your wife hits you.

There is no doubt that domestic violence is passed down. Incredibly important to protect children from it or they will become abusers as adults.

I dont know. But i have access to college databases and will look for studies on this.

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Originally Posted by living_well
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Harley mentioned an Australian study on his Radio Show once which found there were more men going to the hospital with spousal injuries than women but men typically dont report these events to the police.


I wonder if it is true everywhere or just in Australia? I have a darling nephew married to an Australian girl that hits him. Nothing has ever been reported to the police as it is considered a source of shame and embarrassment to admit that your wife hits you.

There is no doubt that domestic violence is passed down. Incredibly important to protect children from it or they will become abusers as adults.

I have heard Dr. Harley say for years that more men were victims of domestic violence than women. There is a study done by the CDC in 2011: http://www.saveservices.org/2012/02/cdc-study-more-men-than-women-victims-of-partner-abuse/

A study from 1999 showed they were equivalent:
Quote
Despite perhaps several thousand studies that report the preponderance of domestic violence to be perpetuated by males against females, there are also nearly 100 empirical
studies or reports that suggest that rates of domestic violence are equivalent (see, for example, Archer, 2000, and Fiebert, 1997.) In the United States, numerous studies have found that women and men are equally likely to report having hit their partner during the preceding 12 months. In Great Britain, also, 4.2% of women and men said that had been physically assaulted by a partner during the previous 12 months (Tendler, 1999).
here

Another interesting thing that Dr Harley has mentioned is that almost all domestic violence occurs in relationships where the couple lives together or lived together before marriage. Those relationships have a very high level of domestic violence.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Another interesting thing that Dr Harley has mentioned is that almost all domestic violence occurs in relationships where the couple lives together or lived together before marriage. Those relationships have a very high level of domestic violence.

I find it interesting how so many people today pretend like traditional morality is a worthless relic of the past. The truth is that living a godly life is beneficial and prevents many of the problems that seem to be rampant these days.


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Originally Posted by nmwb77
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Another interesting thing that Dr Harley has mentioned is that almost all domestic violence occurs in relationships where the couple lives together or lived together before marriage. Those relationships have a very high level of domestic violence.

I find it interesting how so many people today pretend like traditional morality is a worthless relic of the past. The truth is that living a godly life is beneficial and prevents many of the problems that seem to be rampant these days.

God tells us what he wants us to do and not to do, like are parents do. We may not always know the reasons why. There is always good reasons to listen.

The things I have learned over the last few months about relationships, theses stats scare me. And heading towards a divorce it scares me that my WW wants to get a place with the POSOM and what might happen with my kids. I wish I could keep the kids from him and anyone else.
I just don't like when my kids are away because I feel I can't be a protector for them.


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You cant protect your kids all the time but God can.
I encourage you to read the Bible every day and read the book of Tobit (Old Testament book found in Catholic or Orthodox Bibles). It clearly shows how God uses angels to protect loved ones.


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Any recommendations on how to deal with stress and being exhausted?

I seem to be making no head way with my WW, I am getting to the point were I just want her to go. She has no care for me and makes demands over what she wants the kids to do and I feel like I am being used. She does not want to talk and when she does it feels like demands and case over no discussion.


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DS 1
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Originally Posted by RonClark
Any recommendations on how to deal with stress and being exhausted?

I seem to be making no head way with my WW, I am getting to the point were I just want her to go. She has no care for me and makes demands over what she wants the kids to do and I feel like I am being used. She does not want to talk and when she does it feels like demands and case over no discussion.

Being dead will not help you.
You need to take care of yourself. You need to sleep, eat healthy and exercise. Don't spend all of your emotional energy trying to meet your cheating wife's emotional needs. That is not what Dr. Harley advocates. Personal health comes first.

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Originally Posted by RonClark
Any recommendations on how to deal with stress and being exhausted?

I seem to be making no head way with my WW, I am getting to the point were I just want her to go. She has no care for me and makes demands over what she wants the kids to do and I feel like I am being used. She does not want to talk and when she does it feels like demands and case over no discussion.
Have you spoken to your doctor about ADs? Dr. Harley recommends ADs for a short period during Plan A and Plan B.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
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Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Originally Posted by RonClark
Any recommendations on how to deal with stress and being exhausted?

I seem to be making no head way with my WW, I am getting to the point were I just want her to go. She has no care for me and makes demands over what she wants the kids to do and I feel like I am being used. She does not want to talk and when she does it feels like demands and case over no discussion.
Have you spoken to your doctor about ADs? Dr. Harley recommends ADs for a short period during Plan A and Plan B.

No I have not, I don't really have a regular doctor. When I go in I just see however is available.
Well this help with being exhausted? My exhausted is more physical just from work and then picked up all the slack around the apartment that needs to get done that my WW is just not doing anymore.


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DS 1
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Studies indicate that an individual who sleeps less than 6 hours nightly for 2 weeks will have the same alertness level as an individual that has not slept for 48 hours

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Originally Posted by RonClark
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Originally Posted by RonClark
Any recommendations on how to deal with stress and being exhausted?

I seem to be making no head way with my WW, I am getting to the point were I just want her to go. She has no care for me and makes demands over what she wants the kids to do and I feel like I am being used. She does not want to talk and when she does it feels like demands and case over no discussion.
Have you spoken to your doctor about ADs? Dr. Harley recommends ADs for a short period during Plan A and Plan B.

No I have not, I don't really have a regular doctor. When I go in I just see however is available.
Well this help with being exhausted? My exhausted is more physical just from work and then picked up all the slack around the apartment that needs to get done that my WW is just not doing anymore.
Yes it will help. It will help your attention be more focused and will help you sleep. I would make an appointment and tell the doctor what you are going through.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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