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Now my wife has blocked me on Facebook. I am creating another Facebook account.
What should I write his people? From some of the contact I have had with her friends and family, it sounds like she is acting like the victim so they are not willing to help. She is digging deeper into this affair.

I don't want a divorce, but I feel as if it may come to pass.


BH 34 (me)
WS 31 / OM 44
3 children 12/7/angel
Married 13y
D-Day 9/21/2015

Exposed/Separated Plan A
(Almost in recovery)
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Also, I have the kids with me 3 states over due to her family's influence. I gave her the rent money and she didn't pay it, now the landlord has given us an eviction notice. I don't want to keep these kids from her and she has already accused me of using them as leverage. I have no home to come back to now.


BH 34 (me)
WS 31 / OM 44
3 children 12/7/angel
Married 13y
D-Day 9/21/2015

Exposed/Separated Plan A
(Almost in recovery)
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
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Originally Posted by ManKeepingHisFam
Now my wife has blocked me on Facebook. I am creating another Facebook account.
What should I write his people? From some of the contact I have had with her friends and family, it sounds like she is acting like the victim so they are not willing to help. She is digging deeper into this affair.

I don't want a divorce, but I feel as if it may come to pass.

You want to contact the OM family and married friends and write:

Dear friend of John Doe,

It grieves me to write and inform you that he has been carrying on an affair with my wife jane doe. We have been married for years and have 3 children, who are devastated by this affair.
please ask john doe to end his affair with my wife. You may also want to be careful around him as he is an enemy of marriage.

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Also contact the boyfriends parents.

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Have you exposed to OM's family yet?

Have you told your children?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Have you exposed to OM's family yet?

Have you told your children?

No, Yes

His father has passed away recently and his mother lives with him and was there when I found them in his bed. His niece was also there and is helping her cope with all of this.


BH 34 (me)
WS 31 / OM 44
3 children 12/7/angel
Married 13y
D-Day 9/21/2015

Exposed/Separated Plan A
(Almost in recovery)
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 211
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I am pretty sure that this will not last, he has nothing to his name and he really can't offer her anything but companionship.


BH 34 (me)
WS 31 / OM 44
3 children 12/7/angel
Married 13y
D-Day 9/21/2015

Exposed/Separated Plan A
(Almost in recovery)
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 211
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I wrote her this email...
I can admit when I have made a mistake. Things have been said and actions have been taken. I can't change any of that. What I can say and what I can do, is all I can control. I know this. I do care what you have done and it has hurt me more than you will ever know. I am still in pain. I hurt physically and emotional. I may never be the same. What it hasn't done is hurt my love for you. I will love you morning, noon, and night, until the day that I leave this earth. I will continue to honor you and keep our vows when you can't. That is what marriage is and means to me. **** **** ***, I love you. I love you whether you are with me, or when you are with him. You cannot have us both though. But I love you so much that I am willing to wait for you. You say you are done. I understand that and you have every right to feel that way. But know that I will wait. I pray for you 10 times a day. I pray for your happiness and that you find God in your heart. Please tell *** I am not mad at him, but he owes me greatly and I am coming to get my girl! I love you and I will fight for you!!!


BH 34 (me)
WS 31 / OM 44
3 children 12/7/angel
Married 13y
D-Day 9/21/2015

Exposed/Separated Plan A
(Almost in recovery)
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Man,
Never give a wayward money! Ever!


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Originally Posted by NebDane
Man,
Never give a wayward money! Ever!
And if you are paying for anything that she is using to facilitate her affair i.e, her phone. Then you need to stop now.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Originally Posted by NebDane
Man,
Never give a wayward money! Ever!
And if you are paying for anything that she is using to facilitate her affair i.e, her phone. Then you need to stop now.


No but I have the landlord on my side and she and all her family are being evicted. All monies have been frozen and I have taken the utilities out of my name.


BH 34 (me)
WS 31 / OM 44
3 children 12/7/angel
Married 13y
D-Day 9/21/2015

Exposed/Separated Plan A
(Almost in recovery)
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 211
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She just contacted me through my step mother saying that she has placed a no contact order on me and that I have 7 days to get my things out of the house 3 states away. Her mother and cousin are being removed from the house because she hasn't stayed there since she left.the house is considered abandoned. She stated that if I brought the kids back by this weekend then we have till the 23.

Last edited by ManKeepingHisFam; 10/01/15 06:52 PM.

BH 34 (me)
WS 31 / OM 44
3 children 12/7/angel
Married 13y
D-Day 9/21/2015

Exposed/Separated Plan A
(Almost in recovery)
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,842
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Check the law. But that likely does not count as being served. You could also check with the clerk of courts or your attorney. Do you have any friends that could box up your things and ship them?

Why would bringing the kids back have any meaning?

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She said sense the kids are not there she has no reason to be there. And yes, I have not been served. It is just another one of her attempts. I have been very civil and calm. I have reached out to just about everyone. She wrote me an email yesterday saying that she has been unhappy with for a long time and she loves this guy. After the divorce they will still be together. She said that I am keeping the kids from her. She still has yet to admit that she is the cause for all of this. She feels no remorse.


BH 34 (me)
WS 31 / OM 44
3 children 12/7/angel
Married 13y
D-Day 9/21/2015

Exposed/Separated Plan A
(Almost in recovery)
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 211
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I wrote her this, am doing right?
I understand. That still does not change my stance. Please do not be ashamed at what you have done. We can and will move past it. Know that I am taking care of the kids and will provide for them the best atmosphere. Take your time. When you are ready, divorce or not, I will still be here.


BH 34 (me)
WS 31 / OM 44
3 children 12/7/angel
Married 13y
D-Day 9/21/2015

Exposed/Separated Plan A
(Almost in recovery)
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 211
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I want to move on but I still love her very much. What is wrong with me?


BH 34 (me)
WS 31 / OM 44
3 children 12/7/angel
Married 13y
D-Day 9/21/2015

Exposed/Separated Plan A
(Almost in recovery)
Joined: Jan 2010
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Originally Posted by ManKeepingHisFam
OK so I may have screwed up...

I haven't been listening to the radio show and I have stopped reading the books because I have this problem when I think I know what I am doing and take things on my own.

So have you fixed that and you are listening to the show now and following the MB program? Or still following your own intuition?


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Yes, I am fully on board. But I have no clue how to get her on board. I have stopped talking to her hoping that she will see the error she has cause.


BH 34 (me)
WS 31 / OM 44
3 children 12/7/angel
Married 13y
D-Day 9/21/2015

Exposed/Separated Plan A
(Almost in recovery)
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 211
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I have exposed her to everyone she and I knows with only minimum results. She is still with him. How do I get them to separate? She has already lost every thing. Should I tell her that I have told the kids?

Last edited by ManKeepingHisFam; 10/04/15 08:36 AM.

BH 34 (me)
WS 31 / OM 44
3 children 12/7/angel
Married 13y
D-Day 9/21/2015

Exposed/Separated Plan A
(Almost in recovery)
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 211
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Would someone be willing to be my IM? I am fully on plan B and could use some help. I have her mother as an IM for her and my step mother as an IM for her, but these are her rules....


BH 34 (me)
WS 31 / OM 44
3 children 12/7/angel
Married 13y
D-Day 9/21/2015

Exposed/Separated Plan A
(Almost in recovery)
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