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Good job!!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

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Thank you! You are great Mel.

My wife dropped the coats business card off at her attorney's Ofc. So I wonder if she will even cooperate. Time will see.


Me 44
WW 44
dating/living together 7 years, married since Aug-2014

D-Day 04-25-2016
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Most of you know my wife got a new phone and didn't share the number.

The old phone she gave to me, but I put it back in her bedroom. She keeps it on the book shelf. I'm still laying on it cause it's in my name.

When I came home tonight for some reason I checked her teacher satchel on the dinning room table and found the old iPhone in the box in the satchel. I thought is she trying to sell it? I want to take it out and keep it but I don't want her to be made that I went through her teacher bag.

I'm still paying on it and it is in my name.




Me 44
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dating/living together 7 years, married since Aug-2014

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Originally Posted by LMG
Most of you know my wife got a new phone and didn't share the number.

The old phone she gave to me, but I put it back in her bedroom. She keeps it on the book shelf. I'm still laying on it cause it's in my name.

When I came home tonight for some reason I checked her teacher satchel on the dinning room table and found the old iPhone in the box in the satchel. I thought is she trying to sell it? I want to take it out and keep it but I don't want her to be made that I went through her teacher bag.

I'm still paying on it and it is in my name.


sorry for the miss spellings, I was on my iphone when I typed that. I meant to say I am still paying on it b/c its in my name. I did take it out of her satchel and hid it, because I think she is trying to sell it. she doesn't use it anymore and for the past week it's been on her bookshelf. Since we are still married I find that what I did may upset her a little, but it is justified it's worth ($800.00) we just purchased them in January and both phones are in my name on my account.

Her B-day is today, so I bought her a small chocolate cake and put (H A P P Y - B I R T H D A Y) candles on it. I bought her two nice scented candles and a very nice card. put the candle and card in a green gift bag and placed the gift bag on the dinning chair next to her teacher satchel.

The card read;
Front of card: had a woman's silhouette with some flowers and "A birthday promise for my Wife"
inside of card:
(I added Dear, wife's name)
"There aren't enough words to tell you how special you are to me. There aren't enough ways to show you how happy you make me, or to thank you for everything we share together. There aren't enough lifetimes to give you all the love you deserve...
But I want you to know I will never stop trying, never stop caring, never stop loving you with all my heart.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (I added 'To my beautiful Wife' Love me)


Now If my wife gets angry or asks me why I went into her bag and took the I-phone plus out
My rebuttle will be; when I placed the gift bag on the dinning chair your bag fell off the dinning chair. When I picked your bag up I noticed the I-phone plus box, which you gave back to me since you purchased your own phone on your own account. Hopefully the phone thing is not a love buster, but she's still seeing the OM so my deposits are not being received fully.

My wife also went to the Car Dealer today. I do not know if she is trying to get out of her lease and get a different car or if she had something wrong with her vehicle, but the gps put the vehicle in the parking lot and not in the service garage, so more than liking she looking at getting rid of her vehicle.

To me that is not a good sign, coupled with the I-phone in her teaching bag, it sounds like she is hurting for money, which I know she is behind on two bills. She hasn't said anything about the divorce this week, but I'm taking tomorrow off (b/c its her Birthday)and maybe Thursday. (Fri Sat Sun and Mon are my regular days off) I'll be home and it will bother her, because she won't be able to see the OM. She'll probably try to go somewhere to avoid me rather than talk. but who knows after the bombshell I dropped on tues morning about the rumors and investigation.


Last edited by LMG; 05/25/16 02:27 AM.

Me 44
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dating/living together 7 years, married since Aug-2014

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Well her birthday is over and her cake and presents and card are still on the table unopened. When my wife came home from work I wished her happy birthday she said thank you and said I told you not to get me anything because I do not want to be a [censored]

I told you that I would want something for my birthday so I do onto others what I would like done to me. I asked her if she would like to go to her favorite restaurant for dinner. She said no my mom is cooking for me today I asked if I was invited and she laughed and said no. I said I don't understand why she said because we're getting a divorce I said well I don't want to be the bad person Here. I believe you want to divorce because of your affair and it hurts me to know that you keep lying when you see Mike the other man. She said she's not seeing him so I repeated what exactly happened on Sunday with her parking behind a Panera bread Mike picking her up going to Mike's house spending five hours at his house him returning her to her car they kissed in the car and she came home.
She still denied it so I said well there is proof and it will have to come out in court if you keep denying this and I do not want that because I do not want to soil your reputation .
Then I checked my email and found out she filed an affidavit not under oath with her attorney to have me removed from the marital residence based on nine facts of lies. then I check my email and found out she filed an affidavit not under oath with her attorney to have me removed from the marital residence based on nine facts of lies
I told her you know when we go to court you will be sworn in on and you will have to tell the truth and this evidence will be there of the affair . I think that really scared her because when she left to go to her mothers I said enjoy yourself and she look like she was teary-eyed and crying . then five minutes later I hear a big pounding on the door and it's her sister and her brother-in-law asking if they can talk to me so I step outside on the porch and her brother-in-law says your wife says you wanted to talk to me. I said I don't know what you're talking about I never said that so both of them try to gang up on me so I just give her the divorce I said your sisters not telling you the truth she's having an affair that's why she wants a divorce and I have evidence and it will come out in court so if you'd like to be there for the at your more than welcome . by this time I think Lisa heard that I was making headway by talking to them about the affair so she told them to just get back in the car and she would let her attorney deal with it because she still lying to her family .
So weak from Friday I have my first court date . I'm still going to show my wife love and compassion and try to minimize any arguments .


Me 44
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I think you did a super job mentioning the affair to her and how you will bring this into the divorce action! What a stroke of luck that she sent her sister and BIL up to speak to you, giving you an opportunity to tell them all about the affair! Keep up the good work. See how your intel is helping you burst her fantasy? laugh


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Yeah, but I'm a wreck....lol. So stressed out. Wife divorcing is helping me cope also. He tells me to listen to your advice!

I'll keep everyone posted. Thank you for your continued support!!!!


Me 44
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What I would like to say. To my wife is come clean with your family about the affair and I'll grant you the divorce.

This will give me peace and mind that her family would then probably support me; because she has demonized me to her family.



Me 44
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dating/living together 7 years, married since Aug-2014

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Originally Posted by LMG
What I would like to say. To my wife is come clean with your family about the affair and I'll grant you the divorce.

NO!! Hell no!! Do not say that. You have given her family all the evidence they need to know the truth. They choose to believe her and they choose to believe her demonization of you.

If the goal here is to not get divorced, why would you make such a crazy deal? Besides, she is not an indentured slave and doesn't need your permission to get a divorce.

Call your lawyer TODAY and tell him she is trying to get you put out of your home. You need to put a stop to that!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

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Thankyou for keeping me on the right track!
Yes I know I was just thinking out loud!

I have already discussed the matter with my Attorney. He feels confident the judge will not allow her claim.

Court date is June 3rd. But this court date will make me have to serve her the papers for divorce. What I was stalling to do for 90 days to work things out.

My wife's lawyer is pushing the issue and forcing my hand; my lawyer says he trying dirty tactics.

Last edited by LMG; 05/26/16 09:20 AM.

Me 44
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dating/living together 7 years, married since Aug-2014

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Originally Posted by LMG
Thankyou for keeping me on the right track!
Yes I know I was just thinking out loud!

I have already discussed the matter with my Attorney. He feels confident the judge will not allow her claim.

Court date is June 3rd. But this court date will make me have to serve her the papers for divorce. What I was stalling to do for 90 days to work things out.

My wife's lawyer is pushing the issue and forcing my hand; my lawyer says he trying dirty tactics.

Gotcha! You do need to do everything to protect yourself legally especially since you know she is making up crap to get you booted from your home. Did wifedivorcing tell you what happened to him?? Waywards can be EVIL.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

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My wife seems to be PLAN B ing me.

by avoiding contact with me in the house. I think her counselor told her to do that b/c usually that is how you get over someone to avoid them.

I need suggestions to initiate contact. Everything I ask or do she says no to. so I just say if you change your mind let me know.

at the present she in in PJ's sitting in her bedroom watching T.V. playing with her ipad.

her birthday stuff is still on the table, I asked if she wanted a piece of cake, she said, no, but said you can if you want. (that was nice of her)

I'm trying to eliminate any love busters, i.e. going into the bedroom sitting on the bed and making her upset. I need to be extra cautious because of this upcoming court date. I just do not want to ignore her, like she is ignoring me.

I ask the usually pleasantries, goodmorning, how was your day, Do you need me to help you make the bed, would you like me to help you with something, what needs to be done, which I can help with. etc... and all I received is a one word answer; no, good, nothing, don't worry about it. etc.

confused b/c my wife has shut down.


Me 44
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Just keeping being pleasant!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

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Will do smile


Me 44
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Update:

I met with my attorney today to refute my wife's statements of trying to remove me from the marital home. My attorney says we have a very good case. I presented evidence of the affair audio and video. My attorney Asked for the telephone records as well. My attorney even asked for my wife to cover legal fees because of the erroneous claims.
Oh my attorney also request a letter from my captain on my behalf stating I was never placed on administrative leave and I was always fu stating I was never placed on administrative leave and I was always full duty.

Now I have to wait to see what my wife's attorney will say to our rebuttal.

Please continue to pray for me and my wine for reconciliation and restoration of her marriage in for her to realize the affair is wrong into quit the affair .


Me 44
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Originally Posted by LMG
My attorney Asked for the telephone records as well. My attorney even asked for my wife to cover legal fees because of the erroneous claims.

This is great. This will help to dispel her fantasy affair fog.

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Update: sorry don't know why it posted twice I was dictating on my phone.

I met with my attorney today to refute my wife's statements of trying to remove me from the marital home. My attorney says we have a very good case. I presented evidence of the affair audio and video. My attorney Asked for the telephone records as well. My attorney even asked for my wife to cover legal fees because of the erroneous claims.
Oh my attorney also request a letter from my captain on my behalf stating I was never placed on administrative leave and I was always full duty stating I was never placed on administrative leave and I was always full duty.

Now I have to wait to see what my wife's attorney will say to our rebuttal.

Please continue to pray for me and my wife for reconciliation and restoration of our marriage and for her to realize the affair is wrong and to quit the affair .

Last edited by LMG; 05/27/16 10:36 AM.

Me 44
WW 44
dating/living together 7 years, married since Aug-2014

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Progress has been made.

My wife today was distant in the morning, then after a day with her mother shopping and eating she came home a different person. Kinder, more talkative.

I had to leave in the morning for my lawyer appt; but before I left I asked her if she would like to go out on a date this memorial weekend. She said no. I said okay I have to go now bye. I didn't tell her where I was going(Lawyer appt)

When I returned home she had left already to go over her mothers house and shop and eat. When she got home I said I got you a sub from your favorite shop without onions ( cause she hates onions) she said, okay I'll put iit in the fridge for later. I helped my wife with putting the groceries away and we were taking like nothing has happened. She then said she had a hair appt. so I said do you need any money for your hair? She said no. Well when she came home I put 40$ on the table with a note saying this is for you and your hair.

She came home I opened the door for her and said WOW! I love your haircut; did you get it colored too? She said yes thanks. Then my wife saw the money on the table and said, I told you I didn't need money for my hair, but thank you I can use it for the groceries I bought.

Then she changed into PJ's and heated up her sub. We sat on the couch and watched Seinfeld. I asked how her sub was she said good. After the show I was still in the living room and she walked down the hallway toward me said thank you for the sub and goodnight.

My wife has not said goodnight to me since apr 25th!

Progress has been made! I love you guys and gals and I give all praise to the Lord God!

I still have a way to go for our marriage to be restored and not go through a divorce, but this is a good sign!

Last edited by LMG; 05/27/16 09:40 PM.

Me 44
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That is great news!! You can expect her to go up and down, so don't be disappointed if if she is nasty tomorrow. Her moods will swing. BE sure and keep your VAR on you at all times too.

I think what happened on her birthday was outstanding and might have woken her up a bit. She knows now that divorce will not as easy as she thought.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Her cake and present and card are still on the table!

All unopened....



Me 44
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dating/living together 7 years, married since Aug-2014

D-Day 04-25-2016
Affair Known 05-09-2016
Sober 4-27-2016
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