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Joined: Nov 1998
Posts: 878
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OP
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Joined: Nov 1998
Posts: 878 |
Well, finally after 10 months my son met his dad at a restaurant. He came home in a good mood, so I guess things went well. Said they spoke about school, work, the dogs. Nothing was said about where H is or his plans. My son did say his dad was driving a car (since he doesn't own one, I wonder if it is his girlfriends, not that it matters anymore). Anyway, they will make plans to see each other again soon. I am relieved that they are going to have some relationship from now on.
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Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 3,247
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Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 3,247 |
ATW - this is good news. What a hard step to take for both of them. I hope they do try to keep up a relationship.<P>Are you doing ok today?<P>Lori
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Joined: Nov 1998
Posts: 878
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Joined: Nov 1998
Posts: 878 |
Lori, thanks for asking how I am. I'm doing ok. I'm just glad they finally got together. I know it must have been hard for both of them but now the ice has been broken.And all thru this I have thanked God that my son has kept his head straight. I am SOOOOO PROUD of this kid!!!! Maybe the marriage is over, but I was given a treasure from it.
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 5,406
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 5,406 |
ATW...<P>It is good H is not having a complete break with your son. How old is he (your son)?<P>If it wasn't for my three kids... my wife could and would treat me as being dead to the world... but... I can live with the occasional verbal abuse I get from her... if she had zero contact with me I'd be crazier... I know that sounds nuts... but I'm still working on Plan A until after the holidays.<P>Kids are a Godsend... bless them and let them live according to His will.<P>Best wishes...<BR>Hope contact between H and son continues and brings about a healthier contact between H and you... if that is a desire... ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif) <P>Jim
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Joined: Nov 1998
Posts: 878
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Joined: Nov 1998
Posts: 878 |
Jim, my son is 20. He still lives at home, as he is in college with a few more years to go. In the two times I have met with my H, it has been pleasant. The last meeting it was as if two good friends were just sitting and enjoying the conversation. Of course we had to discuss the issues of dissolving a marriage, but so far we handled it well. I'm pretty certain he has no desire to come home, but seeing him does give me just the tiniest twinge of "what if". I am pretty resigned to the fact that this is over, altho I know I am still willing to work on it if he showed any sign of changing. But I am fairly certain he is enjoying his new life (with or without OW). <BR><BR>So the most I am hoping for is a decent relationship with H, no animosity. Time to move on. And wishing the best for him and our son.
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 5,406
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 5,406 |
ATW...<P>I marvel at your strength....<BR>I'm not sure I could ever have a "decent relationship with S" if it ever came to a final separation. I guess since I have younger kids (7, 10 and 17)... I know that OM's influence is a hurt that would continue for too long a time... and build a bitterness between me and my W... if the affair drags out for years...<P>God help you... and bless you...<BR>Contact with children is almost never to be questioned.<P>Jim
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Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 640
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Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 640 |
ATW:<P>Understand that this turn events is totally to your credit. You are responsible for both father and son reconnecting and the fact that your son is doing so well under these circumstances. There has been a big payback to your efforts and a wonderful result.<P>I'm very happy for you.<BR>
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