Did you read this that I already posted to you?

It also has the IM training link in the Plan B thread that you can send to your IM.

Thank you, yes, I wasn't sure if that was all she needed. I appreciate it

You can also tell her that I am offerng to help her navigate any difficult situations. I have done this many times over the years and am glad to help. Being an IM is the easiest job in the world if you do it right. Waywards can be scary and threatening and I can help her navigate those situations. If oyu want this help, just click "notify" and give the moderators your email address and ask them to pass it onto me. I will email you.

Basically I will teach her what to say to avoid any conflicts or fights in case he tries to pick a fight with her or bully her. I will help her maintain a very neutral front.

Will she agree to support your Plan B? The last thing you can afford is an IM who falls for WS manipulations and tries to persuade you to break your Plan B. Believe me he will try everything to get you to break Plan B!

Hi Melody,

Yes, she supports me. I have been keeping her updated on everything and she is very supportive of me and on my side about everything. I think sometimes she's madder at him than I am, and they haven't ever met! She is very practical, and steadfast so I think she will do the job well.

My husband tried to talk to me after dropping off our son. He kept saying he isn't doing "this" to hurt me and that he is sorry, that he's devastated and he's not eating or sleeping. I didn't really know what to say. I just let him talk and told him that we will figure out a schedule for our son, and that he can see him on Saturday.

After he left, I went to a salsa class tonight. I've never done anything like that before. I just signed up and went, by myself. I had a great time, I felt really happy and alive, even though I was alone. Sometimes I feel like I can be alone and be happy. Then I swing back into the depths of despair. It's such a rollercoaster!

I understand completely! A few weeks into Plan B you should start feeling better than you have in a long time. But it will be an adjustment period for the first 3 weeks.

Here we go....

The PI went to his work today. Nothing happened all day. Around 3pm she saw the woman I described leave the parking lot in her car. She said she saw someone else in the car, but she didn't know who and couldn't tell if it was my husband. She stayed to watch my husband's car. An hour later she came back and dropped him off at his car!! It was him! They left together for an hour! She said she couldn't see inside the car as she was behind them, but she got pics and videos of him getting out of her car. What do I do??? He's in town for the weekend and is supposed to get my son all day tomorrow. Do you think I should have her follow him on Sunday if he knows my son is not going to be available? Otherwise there is Monday, and she was gonna go later in the afternoon, cause that seems to be when they would repeat the behavior, but it's also Halloween and she has kids (probably aged 12-15 ish), and my WH wants to see our son dressed up as well, so they might not do anything?? I don't have a ton of money to spend but I want to get hard evidence before I expose him.

Also, should I wait to do the letter until I've got the evidence of an affair so I can word it that way? My heart is pounding out of my chest.

You should have him followed tomorrow. If he is bold enough to go with her during work when he knows you are aware he is u to something, he will use his first free day the same way if OW is able to meet with him.

Have you checked the financials? Did you copy her FB friends?

Well tomorrow he has my son all day, and will be in town. His work is an hour away. I was considering having him followed on Sunday because he is currently staying at a friends in town and if he doesn't have my son I can see him driving down there to meet up with her. But she is also married with children so I doubt they'd go to her house. I am not sure what to do. i was thinking of telling him he can take my son for the day on Sunday too, and then just having the PI follow him again on Monday.

I do have her FB friend list copied, yes. I'm gonna make an email list and call list this weekend of everyone else.

Have him followed on Sunday or Saturday after he brings your son back.

Have you checked the financial records?

Yes, there isn't anything there except the last time he took cash out he took out $80 for one dinner. So that's a lot. He normally uses his card for everything. There are no new cards or anything on his credit report.

If you can only pay to have him followed once, then you need to decide when he is most likely to see OW. It would be unlikely that this is a day when either of them might be with their kids.

If you could do a few hours on Sunday, and if she gets nothing, then Tuesday, you should do that. If you absolutely cannot afford both, then Tuesday. This time, the PI would follow the car, obviously.

Well I think I can swing it. What would you recommend? Don't you think that I should have her follow him Sunday? Like let him take my son for a couple hours in the morning and have her follow him after that?

Do you think Monday is a bad idea? She actually said they had their cars parked next to each other. That would mean she'd have to get there early enough to get a spot next to him as he gets there very early. Could they be getting together in the morning? Should I have her go there earlier?

Have her go there when she is the most likely to catch them.

That's the simple answer. Does the PI have any thoughts on this?

Yes, we've decided to stick with Monday, same timeline as Friday and then if nothing do the same on Tuesday. I'm getting nervous about the inevitable exposure. I have no idea how he'll react. I'm scared.

I KNOW how he will react. He will be furious. And you will be fine! It is like bringing in a crowd of people to the crackhouse to watch the crackheads get high. They are furious because you ruin their high!!

Right, yes. I know, I guess I am just nervous. So quick question, I am not in plan B yet, I want to wait for the evidence to be in hand before I go dark. He has my son right now and said he wants to talk to me after he drops him off. I think about living arrangement. I am going to make it clear he is not moving in here again without a commitment to the marriage (and I am sure he is not going to agree to that since he's still in the throes of his affair). So I'm just going to be pleasant but firm. My question is this. It's stupid really. Literally the same day that he told me he wanted to be "alone" (so about 2 weeks ago), I had taken my wedding/engagement ring to be resized at the jeweler. I hadn't worn it in a few years because I had gained weight and it no longer fit. I was trying to lose the weight before resizing. I finally decided to just get it fixed so I could wear it. Well they were supposed to call me with an estimate, and they didn't. They just had it adjusted. They called me and I just went to pick it up. My question is, do I wear it? Do I let him see me wearing it? Do I take it off until we reconcile? This might seem like a silly thing to worry over, but he's going to notice it since I haven't worn it in years.

Oh, and if anyone can link me to successful exposure/reconciliation threads, that would be awesome. I'd just like to read through some. I tried to use the search function but I don't think I know how to do it properly. Thank you so much in advance.

You can't discuss anything with him until you have all the facts because you can't make such a commitment until you know what is being hidden. He will likely give you any "commitment" to day to get back in. I would not have any such discussion at all right now because he is not being honest.

As far as the ring, I would just do whatever you want.