Yes, Markos, I do see that problem frequently. On our radio show, I stated that H uses a lot of words. What I find happens with his use of a lot of words is that he almost debates with himself, saying (IMO) conflicting views/ideas/thoughts so that when he wraps up, I am unsure just what he has actually said, feels, thinks, etc.

H is recognizing that his communication style needs work as he sees/feels that the forum is misunderstanding him as well. We talked about this and have determined that we need to work on being sure we understand what the other is saying.

That being said, however, I feel this is an interim fix, because H's style of communication is causing LB's to me.

That's a really common problem, Barigirl. I used to do it to Prisca frequently.

You guys should definitely do what Dr. Harley suggests in Love Busters: give each other a worksheet every week listing things the other did or said that you found demanding, disrespectful, or angry.

When he gets your worksheet he should read it and use that information to learn how to avoid doing the things that you find to be demanding, disrespectful, or angry.

He should not debate the worksheet with you. If he has any questions about why something was disrespectful to you he can ask us or Dr. Harley for help, but he should not come back and explain to you why he thinks something was not a love buster. If he does, put that down as a Disrespectful Judgment on the worksheet for next week.

The goal is for him to get through a week with an empty worksheet. If he can't accomplish that goal in a month Dr. Harley usually suggests that professional help is needed. Since you're in email contact with him he may have more specific suggestions for you if that happens - mention it to him.

Thanks Markos. We will be doing this.

I think that it would be a serious mistake for you not to do the full, 1 year accountability online course, where you will be assigned an MB coach, and you will have direct contact with Dr Harley. You two absolutely CANNOT do the course on your own. You need guidance.

It seems that Dr Harley never recommends the online course directly, because he is loathe to encourage people to buy his services. He gives away books when people are on the radio show, and he emails people without charge, for as long as they need help. His recommendation of the free Home Study course is in line with his philosophy of not putting pressure on people to buy his products.

However, if you want the best home study course that you can get, you will pay for the online course that costs about $1000. For the amount of help you'll get from your coach, with direct access to Dr Harley via the private forum here on this website for the rest of your lives, this sum is peanuts. I don't understand how Dr Harley provides this service for such a reasonable amount.

Thank you SugarCane. I am aware of this course and its cost. I have no problem doing it if we need it and H is on board as well.

We are back from our extended vacation. The last couple of weeks were lovely.

I want to thank you all for being there for us. We have much work ahead of us but I feel we are still moving forward.

So he didn't love bust you the last couple of weeks?

He did love bust a bit, yes. but he is learning. He listens to the radio show every day and has access to the Archives as well.

Is it common to swing between hope and despair from day to day?

A bad marriage causes a lot of mental anguish, particularly for women.

You recently posted that you would consider the accountability program 'if you need it.' I personally think you needed it in January when you got here, would you agree? What is indicating to you, when you have been here for months and still feel this way, that you don't need it?

Barigirl, did you and your H decide to start the program?

We are working our way through the HWSW workbook course. We are halfway through.

How are you doing?

Really well. H is taking the lead with our scheduling of UA and time for the course. Deposits are being made. Withdrawals have declined immensely.

Just wanted to post an update. We are doing well. Getting lots of UA time and re-filling lovebanks. I want to thank you all and the MB program for helping us.

Thanks for the great update, I've been rooting for you!

yeah!!!

I am having trouble understanding how the radio archives work. In the MB Radio app, I added several clips to the �playlist� but now cannot figure out where this playlist is. When I look at �edit playlist�, nothing is there. When I click �start playlist�, nothing happens.

Any suggestions? Thanks.

Which app are you using, iPhone or Android? Do you have an account for the archives?

I use apple and yes, I have a subsciption to the archives,