Ok trustntruth I'll start it<P>Let me start out by saying… GET CALLER I.D.<P>Hide it if you need to, put it next to the jack on the floor. Hide another if you already have one and he/she erases the calls.<P>Reverse Lookup - <A HREF="http://www.anywho.com" TARGET=_blank>www.anywho.com</A> <P>You can see what address the call came from. If it is unlisted it will not come up, but if you put in the first few numbers you can find out a general area. For instance 555-555-55<P>New gadget - Intel camera, it is hooked to your computer. Can be used for making video phone calls (could be bad) BUT you can set it so that it will take pictures at intervals that you can choose, like 5 min, 10 min etc. May have several surveillance possibilities. It is a little expensive, but it came with my new computer. WARNING Try it out before you use it! I haven't had the need to try this. It may make some noise if you don't turn off the speakers.<P>OK these are pretty lame! Let's hear some good ones… <P>P.S. Any corrections are welcome!

Ok, I have a simple mind and my H doesn't play with the computer enough to realize that on most services (he has one at the office and one at home with me) that is auto saves e-mails sent for a certain amount of time if you set it up right and the spouse isn't aware of it. Also most services have the same "history" on the Http: bar or somewhere's else. So if you sign on under there name you can see where they've gone to. At this point though he knows I've done these tricks (I admitted it to him, I'm just not good at spying!) but if your H isn't that literate with the computer you can. Have had the caller id hidden for months! I even call myself once in awhile from a pay phone so that I know if he's erased it at all. Someone else that I knew would leave the house, borrow their freinds car and follow their spouse around the whole day trying to catch her. He did.....too bad, that's something he has to live with seeing and I wouldn't advise that! Bless You!<P>------------------<BR>Chick's <BR>Bren<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!

Oh, I can't resist this one. But don't have time right now. I'll bring it back to the top and get back to you later!<P>--Wex

We're waiting.............<P>::tapping toe::

We want Wexwill...<clap, clap><BR>We want Wexwill...<clap, clap><P>............<BR>

Agent L reporting to MB forum-ers:<P>Not proud of this one but it has worked effectively in all 4 cases I tried it.<P>If you suspect H or W is having affair and know or suspect who the OP is, AND you can get the phone number,............<P>Design a survey meant to get you the answers you want in a VERY discreet, detailed manner.<P>I usually started off with:<P>"Hi there, my name is Julia and I am a behavioural science student from University of XXX. I am currently making random calls in the area to speak with (Women or men - which ever applies) between the ages of x and x. The purpose of my study is to determine the current attitudes of sexual relations in the '90's. I only need a few moments of your time and any of your opinions on these questions is greatly appreciated. Let me first confirm that you fall into this age group?" ...... and go from there.<P>Key is to be very confident, organized and to start off with many questions that would have NOTHING at all to do with their affair - ie. very abstract/safe. Then you can get to the more "definitive" stuff without getting so specific it raises any eyebrows. Confirm random number/anonimity...(sp?)<P>PLEASE NOTE: if you do not think that you could hear the answers without screaming out "you stupid bi#ch, you've ruined my life," have a trusted friend (preferably someone of opposite sex) make the call - seems less suspect too if there is a chance they know your voice. <P>I can provide further details on this if you like.<P>Long on other ideas that have worked but short on time. Will post more later. I LIKE this thread.<P>Cheers All! Happy Weekend.<BR>Lisa <p>[This message has been edited by LisaM (edited February 04, 2000).]

Back by popular demand!<P>I'll just give a brief history of my own snooping.<P>I was married for the 2nd time in the fall of '97. I think my W had been seeing the OM for at least a year before that, but it's possible it was "just" an emtional affair during that time. Based on her behavior, I THINK she stopped seeing him for about 6 months or so after our marriage, I guess with the idea that she was going to straighten up and fly right.<P>The spring of '98 was when I noticed major changes in her behavior towards me. She became very withholding and our sex life took a nose dive. So I'm guessing that this is when she returned to the OM and their affair became physical. Anyway, this is when I really started STRONGLY suspecting her of having an affair. Here's the snooping I did to confirm my suspicions.<P>Summer of 98 - First Snoop. Hid a voice-activated recorder in our bedroom and listened to the tapes from it for a couple of months. Nothing. At least they weren't making it in our marriage bed!<P>Fall of 98 - Ordered a semen detection kit online and used it on a suspicious-looking stain on her panties. Positive result, and it cant't have been mine because we hadn't had sex for some time. This confirmed with 100% certainty for me that she IS having an affair and inspired me to further snooping.<P>Fall-Winter 98-99 - Made a "short list" of suspects based on her known (address book) male friends, present and past, and began checking them out. (By this, I mean I drove past their houses, wrote down what kinds of cars they had and their license #s.)<P>Winter-Spring 99 - When W was away on trips, I rummaged through every scrap of paper of hers I could find, and found the name of a male friend I hadn't known about before. She has a pile of info on him, but his name's not in her current address book (though it is in her old one - that got my attention). <P>Spring-Summer 99 - With further info-gathering, including online, I elminated the other possibilities and determined that this guy is the OM with about a 98% probability.<P>Fat lot of good it does me.<P>I did some other kinds of snooping too, which I won't go into because they weren't really successful.<P>--Wex

Here are a few from my bag of tricks. <P>1) Trash:<P>1st and foremost I can't speak highly enough about the value of what you can find in the...... TRASH.<P>Yep, if you know where OP lives, go in the middle of the night, and clean out their trash cans on the curb.<P>It's 100% legal and much can be found out from what one throws out!<P>For instance here are some things I found out from collecting her trash.....<P>A)Reciepts: Knew where they were going, what she was feeding him, what she was wearing, what she was buying my H, what movies they were watching, when she did her shopping and where, how much she was spending in cash VS how much her actual take home pay was (I even got a check stub out of her trash that showed me her salary) and that showed me that my H was infact contributing cash to her household (something my attorneys said was invaluable as once they have even a bit of evidence in this area the OP's ENTIRE life can be opened up and a huge microscope shoved up their finacial orafice). And those are just a few of the things I got from reciepts.<P>B)Credit Card, Banking and assorted other statements: Not everyone is stupid enough to throw these out, but what do you expect from someone who throws out their paycheck stub!!!! Once you have these account numbers and either the last 4 numbers of their SS# or their zip code if there is an automated line or web site for the account you will now know even know more about their spending habits and what they do. Even if you don't the statements themselves can be very revealing ie: motel rooms, florist charges, etc.<P>One last word on trash, if it makes you nervous (or sick to your stomache) to pick it up yourself the trash collectors will most likely, for a nominal fee (I paid $10 a week) pick up the trash and hand it over to you a few blocks from the OP's home. Get a good pair of heavy duty elbow high work gloves and dig in!<P>2)Telephone detailed bills:<P>Call your local phone company ask for a detailed bill to be sent to your home for whatever months you suspect your spouse may have called the Op from you house. A small fee of $3 a bill was charged to my home phone. Cheap at half the price!<P>3)Automobiles:<P>Checking millage to see if any out of the way trips were made could help some. Going through your spouses car with a fine tooth comb can help others. <P>4)Stakeouts:<P>I only advise you hire someone or have a friend do this. Be sure they use a camera to catch your spouse leaving and or entering the den of iniquity with the OP.<P>5)Cell phones: <P>Try to crack the voice mail code. People usually use important dates or numbers (or portions of those numbers) as thier codes. It takes time but I KNOW it can be done. If your spouses wireless service is AT&T go to their website and you can get a detailed bill free of charge, as long as you know basic info about your spouse.<P>6)Spouses Place of Employment:<P>You know the people there and they know you. Drop by unannounced when you know your spouse is at lunch, tell his secy (providing she isn't the OW) you'll wait in his office. Then get that fine tooth comb out you used on their car and search, and search fast!<P>7) Spouses Hobby<P>First go through that tackle box or bowling bag. Then when your spouse is at his/her spot to partake in their hobby of choice...GO THERE! It isn't unusual for the OP to be included in activities that you have been excluded from in the past. And if your spouse is suppossed too be at say the bowling alley and is no where to be found you might want to do a drive by (no not shooting)the OP's house. Be advised if a garrage is available your spouse's car might likely be in it.<P>I literally found out so much about the OW through these tecniques and others, I have to admitt I know more about her than her own mother does.<P><BR>Be Carefull!!!!<P>Fingers Crossed<P> <P><BR>

Here's how I caught my H with the first OW:<BR>He told me the name of the bar where he was going (and he didn't lie). He knew I was going to be at work so he suspected I could not snoop on him. Well, he was right, I couldn't go by there, but I sure could call the place. I called, spoke to the manager, described H and OW, told Manager I suspected he was cheating on me and asked him to9 spy on them for me and describe their behavior. Seems that people love to get involved in this kind of juicy snooping. Well, the manager located them and watched their every move, then I called back later and got the details. Of course it was all confirmed when he didn't come home until 6am. <P>The second time he fooled around, he did so right in front of his co-workers. I got the story through the grapevine. H denies it, but he's lying.<P>It helps when you have a stupid spouse.<P>

OK,<P>I really don't want to be a party pooper, but where does all this snooping get you? You spend a lot of energy trying to find out what you already know. That H or W is lying to you, and see OP.<P>I personally would rather not know all the gorey details. I have enough problems dealing with the lies I am aware of. Let alone trying to find out more. And that's not counting the things I make up in my head.<P>Please don't take this the wrong way, it is just what works for me.

I found out who was the OW by accesing my husbands private email acct. I called her husband and told him. My husband did not leave it at that and continued the affair. I kept in touch with OW's husband and we exchanged info and caught them several times.<BR>We are in recovery now, but I can still check up on him. OW's husband and I formed a strange kind of friendship, by looking out for eachother, hoping for the end of this nightmare. I know EVERYTHING about her. It is a sword with double edge: Yes, he can't fool me any longer, but also stuff i know about her haunts me, like every time I see a white Dodge Durango, her car, I'm reminded of the affair. <BR>But you know what is the best tell-all clue?<BR>Your spouse's behaviour towards you! <BR>When someone is in love with you it's kind of hard not to notice as is when someone is ignoring you.<BR>Good Luck<BR> Medo a.k.a. Sherlock

OH, Fingers,<P>You wouldn't happen to have the AT&T address handy would you? I tried a search of the web site and came up with nada. <P><BR>Back to the Topic,<P>The Caller ID thing is nice unless the OP has a private number or dials *67 before the actual phone number. You won't get anything out of that, well except maybe frustration.<P>Tape the damn phone line. That's what I may have done. WE, oops, I have two lines and she would prefer to call from the kitchen which is on the second line. I might have accidentally hooked up a recorder to the first line and disabled the second requiring her to utilize LINE ONE.<P>BINGO, hit paydirt, just be prepared what you are about to hear. More often than not gut feelings are a good indicator.<BR><P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P>

If your H/W are using Netscape, go to folder 'Users' (in Netscape), and find a file by name 'netscape.hst' , open in any text editor, and....you see all the places they went to.<BR>May be painful (was for me), so think before you do it.<P>

MEDIC238<P>As the pamphlet says:<P>"Accessing your wireless account information is as easy as clicking your mouse." <P>Go to:<BR> <A HREF="http://www.att.com/wireless" TARGET=_blank>www.att.com/wireless</A> <P>There ya go Medic!<P>If you have any questions, or I can be of any further assistance just let me know. <P>Good Luck!<P>Fingers Crossed<P>

OK, snoop tricks by Agent M - Entry #2 (I have many, many, many.....)<P>* Baby monitors aren't just for listening to babies (unless your H or W falls into the whining category). They are a cost effective way to listen when not in the house. <P>Got a dog? If not buy one - a quiet one. Set up the monitor near the phone you expect spouse to use. If you have portables, make sure that the batteries are always low, thereby forcing use of a non-mobile. Many monitors can have the "A" unit (that which does not make sound) with option of batteries. This is good because you can then put it anywhere. If there is a red "led" light, cover it up with tape to ensure no detection. I used to have a laundry basket with clothes to be folded (I KNEW there was no risk he would touch THAT!) in the same room, hide the monitor in the clothes with just the very small speaker hole exposed, place it within 20 feet of phone and head out with the dog....... (or just for some "fresh air") You can safely hang out in your garage, backyard, anywhere that will not arouse suspicions of neighbors, stray dogs or police .....this does not work well if you live in an apartment unless you can hang outside your door with little or no attention drawn to you - difficult with the reciever of a baby monitor stuck to your ear.<P>If you have more than one phone, you can use more than one monitor - just make sure that they are each set to a different station (A & B) and then toggle between them with your reciever until you find out which is being used. If you are concerned about being around, you can also take it a step further and get a voice activated recorder and set up receiver/recorder outside. Only drawback to this is that if someone walks by or H/W goes to put the garbage out etc, they may hear and find out what's going on.<P>This worked well from point of view of hearing H brag about his escapades and conquests to his chums. Anytime he would say "havn't spoken to Darcy for awhile", I would know that it was a good time to exit stage left and give him his "privacy" to make the call <P>Stay tuned for Chapter 3 - the daily log book<P>Chapter 4 - Don't overlook the obvious<P>Chapter 5 - ..........mystery chapter<P>Happy weekend to all.<BR>Lisa

I found the Internet to be a useful tool.When my W left to go stay with some girlfriends for the weekend,she left me a phonenumber of the"resort"where I could leave a message.Being a little suspicious,I got on the Web and used a reverse search lookup on the number.Up pops the address of some guy I don't know who lives in a town where she wasn't suppose to be at.Also showed the names and addresses of all his neighbors,a map of his neighborhood,and directions to get there(no thanks).Even found an aerial photo of his street on Microsoft's Terraserver,in case I decide to nuke it from orbit.I also found the same phonenumber on her cellphone bill later,and charges on her gascard for that weekend,charged in an entirely different area.Nothing like leaving a paper trail behind.I know this information doesn't do much good now,but at the time it verified what I suspected,and it was cheaper than hiring a detective. --Murph<P><BR>

Medic<P>Is it easy to hide the recorder? Or do you hook it up outside, or what?

<BR>One thing I haven't seen mentioned yet is software that logs keystrokes to a log file. I finally found out the real stuff by doing this. My wife is extremely computer literate, so I had to be very stealthy. There are programs that are virtually undetectable unless you know exactly what to look for. As others have already warned, be sure you can handle what you are going to see.<P>Slightly Sane<BR>

Hey Guys,<P>Fingers, <P>Thanks, I will try that later. <P>RCoaster,<P>It took me about 30 minutes to wire a new phone jack in the basement next to an electrical outlet. I got the "brain box" from Radio Shack. Three simple connections. One to the phone line, one to the mike input and the last to the remote on/off for the recorder.<P>It is the perfect setup. The wiring is hidden, it makes no noise when recording and the suroundings look quite harmless. It's on the top shelf with boxes and radio gear all around not to arouse suspition I cut the back and bottom out of a box and marked it with "GE radio parts".<P>She had no clue the phone was being monitored. All it takes is a little know how about wiring the phone jack.<P><BR>Be ready for what you hear if you try this.<P>Tim

<BR>We need to find a way to limit access to this thread. We don't want our cheating spouses to learn all of our dirty trick do we?<P><p>[This message has been edited by help me (edited February 10, 2000).]