Fingers Crossed<P>Gosh..how painful to read your post. I'm sorry you are going through this. I think you know what you have to do. I want to comment on the effect all this may have on your daughters. Yes, they aren't stupid when it comes to their dad, but how do they feel about you? What lessons are they learning about relationships by your actions? Do they perceive you as a strong independent woman, or a woman who has no respect for herself. (Not to say you don't, it's all perception).<BR>Let me share an incident with my 22 year old daughter. She knows about H's A. It's been 6 mos since D-day. H (WS) and I are working on our marriage. We are in the recovery stage. By all accounts, you would never know anything happened. I could tell my daughter was angry at me, so I decided to talk to her. She said she couldn't take the way I was acting towards him like all was forgiven. She thought I was weak and a total push over! I explained that I was no dummy, and reassured her that I didn't have blinders on and I would end it if H betrayed me again. She understood and felt better. So please, think about the affect this has on your girls and maybe talk about you and your actions.

Louser<P>No I don't think Plan A gives *most* WS's the wrong idea. I don't think those that are married to WS that have or are capable of having any morals, character, and integrity are going to end up in my situation.<P>The problem is you have to figure out what kind of person your WS is. In my case my WS has little or no qualities that one must posess to allow them to do the right thing.<P>I'm not familar with your story in full, though. Is your WS still seeing OW and hidding it? I firmly believe IF a WS can get to the other side of the fog, still loves you and is a decent person plan A can be not only highly effective it can make ones marraige even better and stronger.<P>But it IS a crap shoot. You just never know. If you want to save your marriage you try just about anything to do so. But there are never any guarentees in life. And especially not when it comes to one person being faithful to another.<P>Thanks <P>FC<P>Vegarose<P>I'm not sure what the kids think about me at this point. But I can assure you I will be finding out. <P>The one thing they do know is that I love them more than anything in the world and would do anything for them. They also know that in my taking my H back each time their interests were certainly a huge part of my doing so. <P>Thanks<P>FC<P>Here's a little update to my other update thread.....<P>As predicted H came home late Tues night with a headache so I didn't bother even bringing up the issues. Right now I'm kind of in a suspended mode. I'm not being the typical happy go lucky affectionate wife yet I'm not scowling at him either. <P>I plan on talking to each of the kids and letting them know what is going on and getting their imput, on what they would like to see happen and for what reasons. I want to know how the fallout of a divorce would effect them and what they would expect to happen to them personally.<P>Once I know how they feel I will be better armed to decide what I will be doing. My choices at this point are 1) Turn the other cheek and ignore the continued affair 2) Insist he is lying and prove to him he is 3) Just become ever present in his daily work life to the point he has to go one way or the other. I don't relish any of the options, but I fear these are the only ones I really have left.<P>Thanks again<P>FC