This is what I keep asking myself. How do you know? Are all marriages worth saving? He is a great guy. I love him, he loves me. He just doesn't see anything wrong with having a close female friend that he use to have sex with and who buys him jewelry and clothes (still). He thinks they are just friends. I think I am slowly going crazy.

No kids (two step daughters we have a lot but not full time) and no plans for any. All we own together is a house and mountain of debt. I can't plan anything for our future. I am still young (27) and feel like just moving on would be easier. If he is already having affairs, what is it going to be like when we are both older? I guess I am scared. I love him and don't want to lose him but I am afraid he is hurting me so bad emotionally he is making me hate him....

Does that make any sense? I can't wait to see my psychologist lol.

rowe, you already know the answer to this ?
If he's still being friends, he's not putting your feelings number 1. You can't go back to just friends after an A.
She's still buying him jewelry and clothes?
I'm sorry to tell you this and it's not to add to your pain, but the A is still ongoing if I had to be my life on it!
And you're right, if he's doing this now, what will he do 5 or 10 yrs from now?
Not all marriages are worth saving because they weren't real marriages to begin with.
You are 27, just a youth starting out in life. Do not let this man continue to use and abuse you. He is abusive in not breaking all contact with OW.
And any man who truly wants his marriage and loves his wife is willing to dump OW totally forever. When he isn't, he's still having his cake and eating it too.
Have you sought any counseling for you? I doubt he'd go because I can just hear him saying there is nothing wrong with him!
My recommendation is to do a total autopsy on this marriage as Dr.Phil says.
Write down the pros and cons as you see them.
You're way to young to waste your years on a UH who can't put you first. And to do that he'd have to agree to end all relationships with opposite sex! At least to stay with me he would!
God bless and may you find peace and happiness that is real! LouLou

Rowe, You are in the beginning stages of shutting down. Having been on the other side of that, I would hope that you've told him exactly what you said in your post because for me, my wife didn't communicate that to me clearly enough. She just assumed that I should figure it out on my own when all the while I thought she was just being a nag.

Good luck!