So? We are caring? Don't go to the adulterer for marriage advice. Heavens!



Oh good grief




Wow.

Seriously stop talking to her!



Seriously? She's having the affair, at WORK but you're the bad guy in your version. Ohhh kayyyy

.

This is a touchingly naive screw up of priorities...

Wayward are typically unable to hold down employment or friendships or respect anywhere healthy as their behaviours and selfishness grow. Your wife's only real shot is you.




I'll bet my pay cheque that a) this lady has called you controlling many, many times and that b) you typically have zero say in anything. The word 'controlling' is on page one of the female wayward handbook and she's been wayward quite a while. You've probably heard it daily.

Look, you don't control HR. They will decide whether they have an issue here or not. You don't control whether WW has been a good enough employee or not a good employee. She does.
(Spoiler: it's not a good employee).

The only thing you control is whether you're cool standing on the sidelines watching a flagrant workplace affair take down your life. IT IS OK TO CONTROL YOUR OWN REACTIONS AND DECISIONS WHEN BEING ATTACKED BY SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

I for one would LOVE to see you take control.


Remember when we said: hey be sure to get the opinion of the adulterers because that will be super useful? No that didn't happen did it?

NO ONE CARES WHAT SHE SAYS OR THINKS.




X1000 The handwringing is super embarrassing. Be as pleasant as you like while you expose and refuse to take any more [censored]. But for God's sake do it. And YES do it nuclear style. I want to be able to see the sparks from the bomb from here.

So far, I am convinced FarWorse has a different objective than us. His goal is to avoid his WW's anger at all cost and ours to save his marriage. His plan makes it impossible to save his marriage.

Yeah I'm half a sec from bailing. I've never seen this much "WS says.." without it ending up being a complete waste of time.

But then you know that stuff is all coming from years of the WS gaslighting them into a submissive role so you feel for them. I still remember walking on eggshells. Still just as much of a waste of time if they dont wake up early enough though.

ForWorse,
I hope you have listened to MelodyLane and IndieGirl.
They know what they are doing.
I quoted the above from you - and I hope I wasn't too late, I saw it yesterday, but didn't have the chance to say stop.
Don't lay out that she leaves or else - that is a threat. If you do, she will be warned, and try and spin it some more.
You ask one last time (should have yesterday) "Are you leaving your job today and never returning there?"
If the answer is anything but yes, you walk out, and go straight to the HR and reveal the affair completely.
Do not threaten, do not warn, and do not try and deal, listen to her, or ask her questions.
If HR decides to let her go that isn't your problem. You didn't have the affair, she did.
If HR found out through another way (security cameras - the OMs wife complaining...) and they let her go would it be your fault?
If you haven't done this get it done. Everyday is one more day of pain and suffering for you.

So are we hoping that OMBW is up for doing the hard work for you? Often when a BH is this listless his daughters step in. Perhaps they care enough to be unpopular.

Or you could, you know, expose the affair in the place where it happens.

Thank you all for your help and advice. It really helped me to get a different perspective. The affair is now exposed and I met with Steve for the first time. I now have a much clearer path forward for my marriage. I wish everyone the best. Merry Christmas!

Hey FW. Not so easy! Who did you expose to? Reactions of targets?

What has Steve said?

If you're definitely over the exposure finish line I would look at getting some ADs. Youve had some devastating blows which is why you are waving on your feet. But you need to hold it together some more.

*anti depressants

This is the quick �say what they want to hear so they stop pushing me to do something I am scared to do� post that tells us you did NOT expose or at least not thoroughly and properly. We didn�t all just fall off the turnip truck. Listen, you have some great posters trying to help you. You can either do this right, or sweep it under the rug and we willl see you in 6 months when you discover that the affair continues.