The exposure is happening on Tuesday. That way I can tell the other wife and his business partner at the same time. The business partner is currently out of the country until Monday. In reading and listening to the advise I want to inform both parties either at the same time or as close together as I can make it happen. After the 2 of them I am going to call my mother in-law and tell her.

perfect! I would also plan on exposure to the OM's friends and family on facebook when you get done with this. Have you exposed to any children?

Have not exposed to our kids yet. We are going out of town this weekend (Wife, Daughter, myself ) and going to do it then.

On a side note....I stumbled across it once before and now cant find it again. Where do I find the list of acronyms? example : ww, om etc.

Noooooo, you tell your daughter and son alone. Telling them together is fine but your wife must not be present. Stick to the cold hard facts; their mother is having an affair and that is not allowed because she is married. You need to also tell her about your own affairs so that she hears this from you first. Don't make excuses for your behaviour; your daughter is learning an important lesson. Tell her what you did was very wrong.

Here's the decoder for all the acronyms:

http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1984040#Post1984040

I would hold off until next Tuesday because you don't want your wife there when you tell the kids about her affair. That will just cause a fight.

Just wondering....What does it mean when it is the ww that is the one that brought everything out into the open?

And when I mean bring it out into the open I mean she is the one that told me of the affair going on finally.

It could mean anything. In your case it means she is a little more brazen and shameless than most.

??

You told us in the first post that you confronted her, she lied, and then you "showed your hand".


Sometimes he wayward denies it even when confronted with proof. Sometimes they will admit it. Sometimes they continue to gaslight and lie. Sometimes it is all of the above. A wayward is the equivalent to a falling down drunk so what comes out of their mouth doesn't mean very much.

It doesn't make any difference to how you approach the steps to recovery (beginning with exposure).

Yes I did have to tell what I knew to get the truth. Point taken.

So an Update....I got a text from a number out of state that I do not know it says "Your wife is having sex with her boss" when I replied to it : "Who is this" I have not heard back.

I asked WW who else knew and she told me that the only other person that she has told anything to was a guy on the plane on her way home.

Did you tell your wife about the text?

Apparently, many ppl know your wife is having sex with a married man and they are hoping you do something about it.

Interesting that your wife claims she told a complete stranger on a plane she was shagging her boss! How cute!

Yes I told her about the text. That is how I found out about the guy in the other state (which has the same area code as where the text came from)

Maybe it was the guy that she met on the plane which means she gave a complete stranger her name and number and he found you.

That is what I was thinking as well. It is just struck me as weird.

It should show you how your WW has no boundaries at all around the opposite sex. Makes me wonder if she does this often.

Update. Since Exposure, OMW was told, business partner was told, all of our family members have been told as well as our kids, it went better than I was expecting. I also went on to find out all I could of the man she met in the airport and was sending pictures to and sexting with. I found and told his wife as well. I could not find any other of his family. Also she quit her job and blocked all forms of contact with him.

I knew in my gut that this had been happening for a long time and I thought that I was ready for all the details. I am starting to think that knowing EVERYTHING was a bad idea. I in no way shape or forum can look at my wife the same way. I know that I still love her and want to be with her but I cant seem to keep my mind off of all of it. I did go to the Dr. to get some anti-depressants but they do not seem to help. I do know that they take time to help but still I would have thought that something would have happened by now. I just wish that I could get my mind off this subject so way.

So the ww and I were just talking and I asked her why she stopped wearing a ring that was given to her when my mother passed away. (it is a family ring that has in my family for several generations.)

She said because she felt guilty doing what she was doing while wearing it.

How ever weird that gave me some hope...

Good for you for exposing the affair and insisting she quit her job. How did she come to quit her job? Did she quit becuase you insisted?

Now, your work begins. it will be important that you create an affair proof marriage and create a great marriage. Do you have the book Surviving an Affair? Will she participate in recovery? Because unless she agrees to stop trolling for action and protect from repeat affairs, you will be dealing with this again.

From Surviving an Affair, pg 66-67

The extraordinary precautions do more than end marriage-threatening affairs; they help a couple form the kind of relationship they always wanted.

These recommendations may seem rigid, unnecessarily confining, and even paranoid to those who have not been the victim of infidelity. But people like Sue and Jon, who have suffered unimaginable pain as a result of an affair that spun out of control, can easily see their value. For the inconvenience of following my advice, Sue would have spared herself and Jon the very worst experience of their lives.


Checklist for How Affairs Should End

_____The unfaithful spouse should reveal information about the affair to the betrayed spouse.

_____The unfaithful spouse should make a commitment to the betrayed spouse to never see or talk to the lover OP again.

_____The unfaithful spouse should write a letter to the lover OP ending the relationship and send it with the approval of the betrayed spouse.

_____The unfaithful spouse should take extraordinary precautions to guarantee total separation from the lover OP:

_____Block potential communication with the lover OP (change e-mail address and home and cell phone numbers, and close all social networking accounts; have voice messages and mail monitored by the betrayed spouse).

_____Account for time (betrayed spouse and wayward spouse give each other a twenty-four-hour daily schedule with locations and telephone numbers).

_____Account for money (betrayed spouse and wayward spouse give each other a complete account of all money spent).

_____Spend leisure time together.

_____Change jobs and relocate if necessary.

_____Avoid overnight separation.

_____Allow technical accountability.

_____ Expose affair to family members, clergy, and/or friends.