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Originally Posted by wifeofacoach
got it delete it now

You should be ashamed of yourself. This is a free site that Dr Harley has available to help people implement his principles from his decades of work with couples. So you troll it to pick up vulnerable people to push your own agenda? Awful.



Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
ruby #3002768 02/12/18 01:01 PM
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ruby, wifeofacoach's last thread to us was regarding yet ANOTHER internet affair even though she was enrolled in the 12-step program.

We explained to her that she needed to change the conditions that led to her having affairs - which was to stay off the internet completely. If you read what Dr Harley posted in his sex addiction article that is what he recommends and that is what he recommends for a serial cheater who has repeated internet affairs.

She did NOT want to hear that and disappeared from that thread - and since then it's clear she is very angry at this forum.

If you feel you need more one on one conversation regarding your WH, please write to Dr Harley. Don't turn to a serial cheater who refuses to implement EPs. That is the last place you need to get advice from.


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
ruby #3002769 02/12/18 01:11 PM
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Okay! Thank you both. I didn't mean to go against the rules SusieQ. I am merely in so much anguish right now. I am sorry. I'm a whirlwind of emotions and distraught to my core.

ruby #3002770 02/12/18 01:14 PM
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Originally Posted by ruby
Okay! Thank you both. I didn't mean to go against the rules SusieQ. I am merely in so much anguish right now. I am sorry. I'm a whirlwind of emotions and distraught to my core.

Ruby, PLEASE reach out to Dr Harley directly. He will be happy to help you. Don't take advice from a long term serial cheater who hasn't been able to resolve her own problems in the 10 years she has been here. If you email Dr Harley and Mrs Harley at mbradio@marriagebuilders.com they will help you for free.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


ruby #3002771 02/12/18 01:16 PM
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Originally Posted by ruby
Okay! Thank you both. I didn't mean to go against the rules SusieQ. I am merely in so much anguish right now. I am sorry. I'm a whirlwind of emotions and distraught to my core.

I understand very much. I was married to a serial cheater who refused to protect me - and I got crushed again. I am very passionate about trying to help someone who stays with a serial cheater make sure appropriate EPs are implemented so that do not keep getting hurt.

The last thing you want is a serial cheater who doesn't want to implement EPs helping you, please trust me on this. The fact that she went against the board rules when she knows very well it was wrong should tell you something about her character and integrity.

Would you like me to post Dr Harley's email so that you can write in to the radio show? You don't actually have to go on the show if you don't want to - he will write you back and help you either way.




Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by ruby
Okay! Thank you both. I didn't mean to go against the rules SusieQ. I am merely in so much anguish right now. I am sorry. I'm a whirlwind of emotions and distraught to my core.

Ruby, PLEASE reach out to Dr Harley directly. He will be happy to help you. Don't take advice from a long term serial cheater who hasn't been able to resolve her own problems in the 10 years she has been here. If you email Dr Harley and Mrs Harley at mbradio@marriagebuilders.com they will help you for free.

Cross post! laugh


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
SusieQ #3002773 02/12/18 01:18 PM
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Originally Posted by SusieQ
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by ruby
Okay! Thank you both. I didn't mean to go against the rules SusieQ. I am merely in so much anguish right now. I am sorry. I'm a whirlwind of emotions and distraught to my core.

Ruby, PLEASE reach out to Dr Harley directly. He will be happy to help you. Don't take advice from a long term serial cheater who hasn't been able to resolve her own problems in the 10 years she has been here. If you email Dr Harley and Mrs Harley at mbradio@marriagebuilders.com they will help you for free.

Cross post! laugh

yep! grin


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


ruby #3002775 02/12/18 01:38 PM
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ruby I am sitting here thinking about it and when a person is this angry at the forum, it is typically because they are engaged in an actual affair.

If you are emailing with wifecoach, please please proceed with caution. To put it another way, it is NORMAL for a fogged out wayward to dislike EPs and to be angry with posters here who support Dr Harley's program (designed to prevent more affairs).


Last edited by SusieQ; 02/12/18 01:38 PM.

Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
ruby #3002776 02/12/18 01:41 PM
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His contact info is on the website?

ruby #3002777 02/12/18 01:45 PM
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Originally Posted by ruby
His contact info is on the website?

Email your questions to Joyce Harley at mbradio@marriagebuilders.com. When your email question is chosen to be answered on the radio show, you will be notified by email directing you to listen to the rebroadcast. If you would like to consider being a caller, include your telephone number. You will be called by us to explain the procedure to you. Every caller will receive a complementary book by Dr. Harley that addresses their question.


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



ruby #3002778 02/12/18 01:45 PM
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Did you see the email address I posted? mbradio@marriagebuilders.com That goes to Mrs Harley and she and Dr Harley will consult and give you feedback.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


ruby #3002783 02/12/18 10:24 PM
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thanks ladies. I'm going to breathe for a while. appreciate all the input. Heading to my marital home in a.m. Nervous, anxious...scared. Probably won't be on the site for a few days.

ruby #3002786 02/13/18 08:29 AM
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Then you might be quite drained next time you log in. Hold on to whatever energy you can with the knowledge that you have a plan to implement.


What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

ruby #3002787 02/13/18 09:58 AM
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Thanks Indiegirl. Packing up the car/dog frown

ruby #3002788 02/13/18 12:08 PM
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Did you get a chance to write to Dr Harley?


Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
ruby #3002907 02/23/18 08:47 AM
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No SusieQ I've gone no contact, STBX is not motivated to work on himself, much less our marriage. I filed for Divorce when I was in Houston. I am staying my course. I am back at my condo in another state but will be returning to the marital home when he leaves on the 28th to take care of loose ends...taxes and signing the papers when they are ready. He will sign when he gets back stateside in Late April or early May. I've let go. I know that I will be okay and with each passing day I will heal.

ruby #3002908 02/23/18 09:44 AM
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Good for you, Ruby!! I believe you made the right choice. I am relieved to hear this.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


ruby #3002911 02/23/18 10:53 AM
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Thanks ML. The no contact is extremely hard. It's how we have communicated our entire marriage with his traveling for weeks on end. The contact we've had over the last few months has mainly been dribble...the weather, what ya eating....trivial stuff...so needless to say, I am having some major Dt's I'm not sure if there is a resource here with help with no contact....if so please post it. This is very difficult.

ruby #3002914 02/23/18 11:09 AM
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Originally Posted by ruby
Thanks ML. The no contact is extremely hard. It's how we have communicated our entire marriage with his traveling for weeks on end. The contact we've had over the last few months has mainly been dribble...the weather, what ya eating....trivial stuff...so needless to say, I am having some major Dt's I'm not sure if there is a resource here with help with no contact....if so please post it. This is very difficult.
Good job!! How are you maintaining NC? Did you block his number or get an IM?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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I blocked his number.

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