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Thank you for the ideas. I have exposed the affair to close friends and have apologized for being a disappointment to them and that I am working to be a better husband and man,.
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She very well may leave at the end of the school year also. She has made that comment to a few different people over the last couple of months.
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Thank you for the ideas. I have exposed the affair to close friends and have apologized for being a disappointment to them and that I am working to be a better husband and man,. Was anyone on OW's side exposed to? Did you tell your children?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Thank you for the ideas. I have exposed the affair to close friends and have apologized for being a disappointment to them and that I am working to be a better husband and man,. Jason, I think that is a real good start and you are definitely on the right path. You can get more micro using the SAA book and workbook when the time comes, but your plan makes sense. The only thing I would add is exposure to your kids. They need to be told the truth about what happened. Kids can deal with the truth, they can't deal with lies. It's even more critical in your case because your kids probably KNOW this woman. Check this out: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php/topics/3003113/1.html
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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OW has a son. He knows everything also. He is a senior here at school. My kids know that i was with her they just don�t know details.
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OW has a son. He knows everything also. He is a senior here at school. My kids know that i was with her they just don�t know details. Do they know you had an affair with her? And what are their thoughts about your affair?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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They no that we were together. So I am assuming they know that I had an affair. I haven't sat down and said I have had an affair. I have talked about the poor choices I have made and that I want to make things right and work for them and their mother.
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They no that we were together. So I am assuming they know that I had an affair. I haven't sat down and said I have had an affair. I have talked about the poor choices I have made and that I want to make things right and work for them and their mother. I would strongly suggest you give them the full facts. They are not stupid and soft selling it this way grossly minimizes the impact of what has happened. Do they believe that adultery is an acceptable lifestyle choice? I was taught this as a child and it was horribly confusing.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Have your kids or your wife confronted the OW?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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No. They know what i did was wrong. As far as confronting the OW my wife has with me. That was an interesting evening i can tell you. Ended up being very therapeutic to be honest.
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No. They know what i did was wrong. As far as confronting the OW my wife has with me. That was an interesting evening i can tell you. Ended up being very therapeutic to be honest. Therapeutic for your wife?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Both of us. Everything was on the table. She felt better afterwards at least that�s what she told me. Then we were standing in the driveway and she asked me do i want the OW or her. And i told her i am all about working for my wife and my marriage.
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Both of us. Everything was on the table. She felt better afterwards at least that�s what she told me. Then we were standing in the driveway and she asked me do i want the OW or her. And i told her i am all about working for my wife and my marriage. How long was your affair? What happened to bring it into the open? Where did you live when you moved out? Where do you live now?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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A little over a month. I was and still living with a friend of mine. He has a studio apt on the backside of his house. I left and told my wife about everything.
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Do your children also go to your school, along with OWs son? Even if you transfer to another school, won�t you have a chance of running into OW at the school your children attend together? And does your wife also work at the same school, in which case she is the guidance counselor for OWs son? Does she intend to transfer also?
Honestly, you may have to consider moving all together. It is far more complicated if you not only all work together, but also kids from both sides attend. There are far too many triggers for your wife to recover there.
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OW has a son. He knows everything also. He is a senior here at school. My kids know that i was with her they just don�t know details. Youve said they know its wrong. I think it would be very reassuring to them if you told them that you know so too, that they can ask you about it, that you apologise for it and that you realize they need to be supportive of their mother, and wary of you. That you realize you need to prove yourself.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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I have told them i know it�s wrong many times. I have also opened the doors for questions. They haven�t asked a whole lot of questions. They may as time goes by. I have told them that i need to prove myself to them. So we will see how it goes. All i am working on is myself to be better for them and their mother.
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Yes they go to school together. The OW son is a senior and will be gone in two months. The Ow could be gone at the end of the year also. At least that is what i am hearing. I have cut off all contact so i haven�t talked to the OW at all.
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I left and told my wife about everything. Hmmm. Why did you leave OW, and why did you suddenly confess to your wife? Did the OW threaten to out you if you didn't commit to her? I only ask because waywards rarely confess out of the blue and out of the goodness of their heart. Usually there is a crisis that forces the confession. So what was it? Also your wife deserves to know this, as well. How long was your affair? Where did you meet for sex? Did OW ever come to your home?
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It was wrong. I guess i cane to my senses and wanted to try and work it out with my wife. OW never threatened me at all. She understood that i had to try. My wife had an idea that there was something going on when we separated. So i told her everything. The affair lasted about 6 weeks. We went to her house.
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