Wife is becoming more confrontational.
Before she was talking to me quite a bit. Now she often voices that she is dissatisfied that she has "given in" this much. Says that she feels she doesn't think she can forgive me.
I have mentioned several times that I think we should consider doing the marriage builders program. She seems only interested in getting a car.

Additionally, she would not allow me to move where she is. She even said she did not want to stay there.
She insists she is staying there for the summer. I miss my son so much.
I get very worried because it is a place where she grew up with a lot of exes.

Some of my concerns:
She feels that because she has talked to me so much that I am manipulating her.
She feels she wont be able to forgive me.
I notice some of my controlling behaviors coming out, like asking if she is hanging out with other guys.
I feel as thought i am pushing the idea of rekindling our love as a solution to her not being able to forgive.

I am just feeling frustrated. I want to talk to her, but i dont want it to be damaging to our relationship. I am very alone here, no real friends or family to talk to.

She also told me that her friend there is basically very against me and tells her thay people cant change, she has been in abusive relationships in the past.

Looking for advice and encouragement.

November, this sounds good to me. When I was winning my wife back what I found was that she became annoyed as we grew closer. It bothered her that after she had completely written me off suddenly I was charming and attractive to her. As a matter of fact it was a bit like trying to get close to a porcupine. Some women actually test their husbands, sometimes intentionally or sometimes without thinking about it, to see how you react if she pushes you away or says something discouraging. The key is to stay the course: tell her you want to be with her because she is special to you, and you will be sorry if she chooses not to be with you, but don't pressure her or become demanding, disrespectful, judgmental, angry, or upset in any way. (If you do feel upset, save that for when you are alone or here on this board. Don't let her see it.)

I would not mention Marriage Builders to your wife for now. Just keep making love bank deposits and avoiding love bank withdrawals. That is what will change her feelings.

I'd suggest using that meter 3-5 times per day, on a set schedule. Reread this article which talks about use of the meter: https://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8122_neg.html You'll notice it talks about stages of mastery:

1) able to keep yourself calm on the meter when you are alone
2) able to keep yourself calm on the meter when you are alone and thinking about an issue which frustrates you
3) able to keep yourself calm on the meter when you are with your spouse and talking about something which frustrates you

The goal is to become able to stay relaxed even in the face of frustration. This is going to really benefit your wife and be very attractive to her. And it's going to really benefit you. You are literally rewiring your brain.

Here is your show NovemberHotel�s Show

Thank you!

The car should be there tomorrow. I shipped it today.

She has said she wants space, and is requesting that we limit our interactions. She now only wants to speak on the phone for 20 minutes per day.

Great job on the car :-)

Women find men that make them laugh irrestistible. Use that 20 minute call to make her giggle.

November, she is going to test to make sure that she is free to leave. She is going to have one foot out the door for a very long time until she feels safe and finds, consistently, that you won't become demanding, disrespectful, or angry about it.

She's giving you a 20 minute tryout every day. Don't use the time to try to persuade her to work on your marriage. Use the time to make love bank deposits and avoid withdrawals. Use the time to practice and demonstrate the friends of good conversation and to practice avoiding the enemies of good conversation:
https://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5056_qa.html (Reread this daily - better yet reread the conversation chapter in His Needs Her Needs daily)

She will test you. How are you going to react to her insistence on only 20 minutes a day? Are you going to twist her arm? Are you going to insist she do it your way? Are you gonna blow up? She's watching.

She must feel absolutely no pressure from you whatsoever. She must be allowed to have one foot out the door.

Concentrate on fun conversation. Talk about the kids.

Yes, I am learning to not pressure. I am avoiding demands, disrespect and anger. My control of anger has improved immensely since starting down this path. I have had zero outbursts in any facet of my life!

I believe it is going well, she has broken her own 20 minute time limit twice now, and she has even skyped with me.

I am still taking this day by day.

Thank you for all your help. I will read over the chapter on conversation again. It feels so foreign, but I have noticed that our conversations are becoming more natural the more we have them. It had been such a long time since we just enjoyed each others talking.

Don't point that out to her.
Just smile.

Ok, I need some help here.

I am doing excellent with anger control. Even she stated that i haven't lost my temper at all.
However, I am noticing a pattern. She is hanging out with her highschool friend who is very against us getting together because she says "abusive people can't change". We seem to have good conversations, we get closer, she is talkative and sends me pics of herself. Occasionally she will get annoyed if i bring up comittment to restoring love. But after hanging out with her friend she insists on "space". That this is a a separation and not a vacation and that she isn't sure we can be in love again.
I'm not sure how to take care of this.
She refuses to discuss moving back here until summer is over. Her friend is actively trying to set her up with guys even though my wife told me she let her know she isnt interested.
I am not sure what to do. She is coming for the weekend of June 8th, she agreed to a date, just me and her, and spending time together as a family.

Prisca, you mentioned moving to where she is, she was against this and said she doesnt want to stay there and that she isnt moving back until summer is over. But I am very afraid that this distance separation and her friend are going to lead to divorce and us growing apart. I can tell things get better when we talk, but she has a strong need for affection that I cannot meet from so far away.
What do I do?

Thanks

actions speak louder than words and being consistent in never losing your temper is what she wants the most in her life regardless of what any of her friends tell her. Keep it up

Do you have kids together? She would understand you going up to see them.