Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our discussion forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#3008690 07/11/19 09:55 PM
Joined: Jul 2019
Posts: 3
B
Junior Member
OP Offline
Junior Member
B
Joined: Jul 2019
Posts: 3
I had an affair a year ago. My wife and I are trying to reconcile our marriage. I'm very thankful for the opportunity that my wife has given me. But I'm struggling here. It seems like after the affair I have forgotten how to express love and affection towards my wife. My feelings for her are very strong but the words escape me. Does anyone have any advice or suggestions on how to fix this? It is a big hang-up for us on being able to go forward.

bulldog11 #3008691 07/11/19 11:03 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,272
Likes: 2
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,272
Likes: 2
Welcome to MB.

Who is the OW (other woman)? How did your BW (betrayed wife) find out about the affair? Did you tell her everything? Is the OW married? What avenues did you use to have the affair? How long was the affair?

How long have you been married? Do you have any kids? Who all knows about your affair?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



BrainHurts #3008692 07/11/19 11:34 PM
Joined: Jul 2019
Posts: 3
B
Junior Member
OP Offline
Junior Member
B
Joined: Jul 2019
Posts: 3
The ow was my supervisor at my former job. My wife found out by going through my phone and then confronting me. Yes I told everything. The ow is not married. It lasted for about a month and a half. We have been married for 21 years. We have 4 kids ranging from 29 to 22. People know from word of mouth in the community. And some family know.

bulldog11 #3008694 07/12/19 11:58 AM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,448
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,448
Originally Posted by bulldog11
The ow was my supervisor at my former job. My wife found out by going through my phone and then confronting me. Yes I told everything. The ow is not married. It lasted for about a month and a half. We have been married for 21 years. We have 4 kids ranging from 29 to 22. People know from word of mouth in the community. And some family know.


What have you done to ensure there is no contact?



Ddays 2007 and 2011
Plan B 6/21/11
Divorced July 2012
2 kids
How to Plan B Correctly
Parallel Parenting in Plan B
bulldog11 #3008695 07/12/19 12:50 PM
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by bulldog11
I had an affair a year ago. My wife and I are trying to reconcile our marriage. I'm very thankful for the opportunity that my wife has given me. But I'm struggling here. It seems like after the affair I have forgotten how to express love and affection towards my wife. My feelings for her are very strong but the words escape me. Does anyone have any advice or suggestions on how to fix this? It is a big hang-up for us on being able to go forward.


Hi bulldog, welcome to Marriage Builders. It sounds like you and your wife have grown very far apart over the years. I would get the book Surviving an Affair; it will give you the roadmap to falling in love again. In the meantime, I would refer you to these articles:

The Love Bank

Meeting the Need of Affection

INTIMATE CONVERSATION

THE POLICY OF UNDIVIDED ATTENTION <-----this is the key to restoring the romantic love in your marriage. Nothing will work if you don't do this step


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


SusieQ #3008700 07/12/19 06:53 PM
Joined: Jul 2019
Posts: 3
B
Junior Member
OP Offline
Junior Member
B
Joined: Jul 2019
Posts: 3
I have had zero contact since October. No phone calls or texts. No emails. I have her number blocked. My wife checks the phone records almost every month to see if she has tried contacting me. She has tried but failed due to her number being blocked


Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 16 guests, and 70 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Lethabo, Livn1dayAtaTime, widup, Reggg, Endlessvow
71,682 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,528
Posts2,322,563
Members71,682
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2020, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.  |  Web Development by SunStar Media.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5