How did it turn into love
Have you read any of Dr Harley's materials on this website? His analysis shows that people fall in love when the other person successfully meets their emotional needs. He has a list of the common emotional needs desired by women, and those desired by men.
For your wife, you offered her the chance to become intimate with another man. He successfully met her most important emotional needs and now she is in love with him. It isn't rocket science. You, on the other hand, crashed your marriage by pimping your wife out to someone else. This showed an enormous lack of love and care, and made her fall out of love with you.
Many people entered so-called open or polyamorous arrangements within their marriage, only to find out that the vows to keep oneself only for one's spouse are there for a reason. A marriage cannot survive and thrive with another person receiving love, affection and sexual fulfilment. Have you never heard this? Have you been living in a cave? Did you not realise that marriage is meant to be exclusive, and that marriages break up constantly because of infidelity?
poly option how do I proceed.will I love this child as my own.
You might be willing to put up with a polygamous arrangement, but as you can see, your marriage is already in crisis. If he stays in the picture your marriage is finished.
Will she ever be the woman I knew and fell in love with .I have the power to change it as it's not done 3 more weeks she says she won't go if it hurts me or she will go but take a morning after pill if I can't accept it. At same time my years with her were always about how I can make her happier at any cost .I can tolerate pain well don't mind crying. For all things I can do I have my own flaw's ..I just want her to be as happy as she can be .yet self preservation kicks in and jelouse and fear of massive change I wanted her to know and experience and now I realize changes will be even greater depending on the outcome.
She wants to go and have sex with this man, in the hope of conceiving his child, and then go back to you? And you are giving her permission for this, and planning to bring up the child?
Do you, and does your wife, feel any sense of responsibility to the children you already have? Do you honestly think that this is a responsible way for parents to treat their children?
For their sakes, if you plan to go ahead with your reckless scheme, contact the authorities and ask for your children to be taken into care. They do not deserve to have parents like you.