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#3009835 09/27/19 12:18 PM
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After finally getting a chance with the one woman I’ve wanted for 20 years , I don’t think she’s really what I wanted for all those years.

She was a friend of my 1st wife during high school, she was always the popular girl, the one everybody liked, including me.

Although she was wild and bounced around from guy to guy up until her late 20’s, I still lusted after her.

I was divorced several years ago, and recently found out her marriage of 10 years has ended.

To my delight we started talking, and hit it off well. We have a lot in common and get along great.

The problem is, although I find her attractive as ever, I can’t have sex with her due to knowing how she was years ago.

Can’t get past all her previous partners, and one of them being a friend of mine.

I’m going to have to cut all ties and communication with her but I know she won’t understand any of this..

Thoughts ?

Falcon49 #3009836 09/27/19 12:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Falcon49
After finally getting a chance with the one woman I’ve wanted for 20 years , I don’t think she’s really what I wanted for all those years.

She was a friend of my 1st wife during high school, she was always the popular girl, the one everybody liked, including me.

Although she was wild and bounced around from guy to guy up until her late 20’s, I still lusted after her.

I was divorced several years ago, and recently found out her marriage of 10 years has ended.

To my delight we started talking, and hit it off well. We have a lot in common and get along great.

The problem is, although I find her attractive as ever, I can’t have sex with her due to knowing how she was years ago.

Can’t get past all her previous partners, and one of them being a friend of mine.

I’m going to have to cut all ties and communication with her but I know she won’t understand any of this..

Thoughts ?

If she doesn't feel like the right person for you, say goodbye.


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
Falcon49 #3009837 09/27/19 12:32 PM
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She feels like the exact person for me, I’ve felt that since 1999, but now all of sudden I keep thinking about how she was back then, sleeping with so many different guys.

Falcon49 #3009838 09/27/19 12:52 PM
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It's obvious that she does not feel like the exact person for you, given what you wrote in your first post.

If your feelings for her have changed, and you've decided that you're "going to have to cut all ties and communication with her", just end it. There's no dilemma here.
Originally Posted by Falcon49
Can’t get past all her previous partners, and one of them being a friend of mine.

I’m going to have to cut all ties and communication with her


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
Falcon49 #3009840 09/27/19 01:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Falcon49
She feels like the exact person for me, I’ve felt that since 1999, but now all of sudden I keep thinking about how she was back then, sleeping with so many different guys.


Ok, then that means she is not the right person. Feelings are not truth. It looks like the fantasy does not match reality. You are just now seeing the contrast. Dating is a job interview for marriage; the interview was not a success. I would move on.



"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Falcon49 #3014344 12/02/20 10:27 AM
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I think you should also remember that she may not be the person she was back in high school. People change and it's unfair to define them through who they were back then and what they did.

Of course you gotta know for yourself what's acceptable and what's not. If those memories really bother you so much, be honest for the sake of both of you and stay friends with her instead.


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