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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by SeaWave
I had hired a therapist end of last year, I am going to terminate with that person as it is not helping me. They continue to tell me that I must decide, but I can not decide.'

How can you decide anything if you don't have all the facts? It is not a lack of trust that ruins marriages, but a lack of boundaries. Too much trust leads to affairs. Blind trust is not a virtue.
that is exactly how I feel about this topic. I did completely trust her and had no idea she was even capable of such actions. I now know that was very naive.

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SeaWave Offline OP
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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by SeaWave
The mental changes prescribed are harder for me and I did not succeed, it included needed to flirt with other women and even have an affair myself to show higher value.


The Red Pill is a stupid, toxic idea that will wreck your marriage. Affairs wreck marriages, they don't save them. Marriages end all the time due to affairs, it doesn't raise your value, it cheapens it and will lead to divorce. Any plan that tells you that flirting and having an affair on your wife is a) unethical and b) doesn't understand how women think. If you know how devastating the idea of an affair is to you, how could you consider doing it to your spouse?

I am in agreement with you and did not do that. Although I wonder in truth if I should have. Much of the red pill teaching does appear to be true. To me it is like there was another world hidden that I never seen before, yet it was always right in front of me. I can see others doing exactly what is described. Even BM agrees that over 50% of ppl have affairs.

I did not find MB when I first realized a problem, I found red pill instead. perhaps it would have went better if I had found MB first. The problem as already and I was very upset looking for what should I do about it. The description of the "nice guy" in red pill fits me perfectly I think, even the bad parts or especially the bad parts. I for sure can agree that women will gravitate to a dominant man, even if they have a loyal husband in many cases. Men are no better, they will pursue a sexy lady usually no matter what except in rare cases or the 20% that MB talks about. I never realized how little marriage vows and promise means to many. As a man I for sure notice other women if they are sexy, but I actually prevent myself from interacting with them because the first thing in my mind when I do is my wife. I always expected my wife to be the same way.

Have you study or familiar with red pill content, or only second hand? reason I ask is that there are many truths in it, but also some bad or wrong or non christian ideas. That doesn't mean that the symptoms and causes of those are wrong, but for sure some of the recommendations are not christian. But.. many of them are. I think it did not work for me, at least in part because I could not fake not being interested in her.

It is still hard for me to put her into the frame of sex with another man. It really looks like it happened/was happening. For awhile I thought due to red pill reading that maybe they guy just escalated to her at the right time and it is his fault. As time goes by and I consider it more, she had to be accepting him as well as hiding it from me, and going back for more. So she is not the innocent one I used to see her as. I wonder if what I have written should be enough for anyone to see.. and only I am refusing to believe it.

SeaWave #3012508 03/12/20 10:50 PM
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Originally Posted by SeaWave
it included needed to flirt with other women and even have an affair myself to show higher value. I did not like to do it, where I live there are 100s of choices that would be happy to accommodate me.

Originally Posted by SeaWave
The idea was to show strength and that my wife should be attracted to that strength and due to higher attraction the problems go away. Did not work for me... I think possible as there was already a guy hooked to her.

Hi SeaWave. I'm sorry for the reasons that brought you here.

Did you flirt with other women? Did you have an affair?


Are you living in a covenant with death? With bitterness in your marriage? Read Isaiah 28. The bed will not be long enough or the covers wide enough for you to ever find comfort in that life. In Isaiah 28, God tells you to take a stick and beat these conditions out of your life.

Isaiah 28:29 "This [command] also cometh forth from the Lord of hosts, which is wonderful in counsel, and excellent in working."
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SeaWave Offline OP
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Originally Posted by Sunnytimes
Originally Posted by SeaWave
it included needed to flirt with other women and even have an affair myself to show higher value. I did not like to do it, where I live there are 100s of choices that would be happy to accommodate me.

Originally Posted by SeaWave
The idea was to show strength and that my wife should be attracted to that strength and due to higher attraction the problems go away. Did not work for me... I think possible as there was already a guy hooked to her.

Hi SeaWave. I'm sorry for the reasons that brought you here.

Did you flirt with other women? Did you have an affair?

Thank you for helping. I did not flirt with other women. I did think about it. but did not, I dismissed several lady that tried to initiate one on one conversation with me, very politely. I get a lot of eye contact and double eye contact. I always just smile and look away or smile look to my wife if she is present.

No, I did not have an affair. I did think about it as I could not seem to make progress with my wife. It was/is like her love bank was closed. I only learned the MB terms in the last weeks. I got that idea to have an affair from red pill. I also have seen it first hand work for others.. There seems to be some physical thing that occurs because of it. Even though I am hurt/angry about wife the idea of her affair it seems to have focused my attention to her. The other reason to do it would be self or selfish, so as to have a backup in case wife and I split as well as to change my manner from needy to confident. Anyway, no.. I did not. It breaks my sense of wright and wrong. Also, wife continues to be physically available to me, it is the emotional part this is missing so I don't have any unmet physical need, it is all emotional. The emotional disconnect is strong. Also physical without emotion is not really perfect..

SeaWave #3012510 03/13/20 02:48 AM
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Red pill is manipulative and controlling, 'succes' means one spouse 'wins' at the expense of the other spouse. Red pill wrecks marriages.

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SeaWave Offline OP
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Originally Posted by goody2shoes
Red pill is manipulative and controlling, 'succes' means one spouse 'wins' at the expense of the other spouse. Red pill wrecks marriages.

You are saying the same over and over, why? The problems I have started before that. Wife was likely already to an affair it looks like.
Success for me is for both to win together, however I do not agree that it is ok for wife to have sex with another man. Do you suggest that is ok? If something wrecks my marriage that will be the reason.

It sounds like you might have some experience with red pill. I am aware that many players... use the content in red pill to help them to do what they do. A person that wanted to could also use MB info in the opposite way as intended and pursue married women, I think with good success, that would be a terrible thing to do. Many of the red pill men are really just common men that are trying to figure out how to have a happy marriage and found that instead of this. If there was not already a problem I would not have looked for help and would never have found red pill.

What I try to figure out with help of the forum, is how likely it is that my wife was having sex with another man. Persons that have been involved with and helped many others with similar issues likely can analyze what I say and ask few questions and get really close the the right answer. Or with any luck, tell or point out to me why it is not that way. The big data point being symptoms that can match abortion pill, and if there are other reasons for the same such as menopause or ??

Last edited by SeaWave; 03/13/20 05:26 AM.
SeaWave #3012513 03/13/20 09:01 AM
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Redwave, no one here is going to help you follow a destructive, immoral program like "red pill." We can help you with Marriage Builders, a tried and true program if that is what you are here for. Otherwise you are wasting our time.

If you are trying to figure out if your wife is having an affair, the answer is obvious and has already been suggested: SPY ON HER.

Real simple.

Other than that, did you have a question about Marriage Builders?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Can you put spyware on all of her devices? A GPS tracker on her vehicle?

I never saw an answer to these questions. What are you going to do to spy on her and get the answers you need?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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SeaWave Offline OP
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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Redwave, no one here is going to help you follow a destructive, immoral program like "red pill." We can help you with Marriage Builders, a tried and true program if that is what you are here for. Otherwise you are wasting our time.

If you are trying to figure out if your wife is having an affair, the answer is obvious and has already been suggested: SPY ON HER.

Real simple.

Other than that, did you have a question about Marriage Builders?

Thank you for your help.. I see you address to me as Redwave... I was telling what I have done and seen. For sure I was not asking for any advice to further pursue red pill. I had that in my initial story, and when a comment or question about it I shared more.

The spy makes sense, I was looking/hoping to avoid that but I guess I can not. If the affair is over and past I will never find anything... and forever have some doubt, I was also trying to avoid that result.

I like what I see so far in the MB material.

This is an honest question, not sarcastic... So is it true that the first step/recommendation from MB is to spy on wife to find proof? If I understand what I am reading in MB material, she will almost for sure return to the affair at some times due to it still being secret and the spy activity should find something.

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SeaWave Offline OP
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Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Can you put spyware on all of her devices? A GPS tracker on her vehicle?

I never saw an answer to these questions. What are you going to do to spy on her and get the answers you need?

How/what do you suggest to do this?

SeaWave #3012518 03/13/20 09:25 PM
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Originally Posted by SeaWave
[

This is an honest question, not sarcastic... So is it true that the first step/recommendation from MB is to spy on wife to find proof?

Of course. The first step has to be to spy and find out what she is doing. You can't move forward unless you know the facts. You shouldn't confront, accuse or ask her because that will make her go further underground. Some of the best ways to spy would be to get spyware on her cellphone, GPS on her car, and a voice activated recorder where ever you think she might have a secret conversation.




"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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