Have you ever had an honest conversation with your girlfriend about what she wants in life? How does she make her decisions regarding men in her life? What are her values? What are her cultural traditions? Who are her parents and siblings and where do they live? What do they do for a living? How often is she in contact with them?
Basically, how much do you really know this woman? How much do you really know about her circumstances and what were her motives for agreeing you to live with her, especially after such a brief time of acquaintance beforehand?
Would you say she is in love with you? Are you in love with her? Perhaps she doesn't care for you very much but you help her with paying her household bills so she wants you to be with her for that reason. What if you could get her to fall in love with you? Do you take her out on dates? Do you know about the love busters and avoid them? Do you know what her emotional needs are and would you say SHE says you do a good job at meeting them?
I suggest that she is not committed to you. Do you want to continue living with her at all costs?
There is a lot of stuff to digest and consider there.
What is love? How does one really ever know what is happening for someone else?
For me I consider it a function of being attracted to someone then the connection / bond that builds by spending time together and giving to them. Of course the time and effort they give back.
We spend a lot of time together / talking on phone when we are not together.
She always wants to be near me and when we are working she calls on way to and from work (1.5hr commute) and during her lunch breaks. This has been a constant thing with us since we met.
I guess we spend 2hrs or more per day on phone and the time we spend at home, shopping and the dates we have. Although "dates" are harder now.
She is also us very giving in acts of service like cooking, ironing my clothes, lunches etc etc. We are very affectionate with each other and we make love regularly. She will be tired during her work week but will usually try to please me and spend time if she can.
All in all her behaviour tells me she wants my presence and attention and tries to do nice things for me.
In terms of love bank deposits I feel she is giving to me and in return I try to give to her. I do this by being helpful with all household tasks, cooking, shopping cleaning etc, being happy and affectionate,. Trying to build close bonds with the kids, help them where I can, sports, transport etc, and giving her lots of attentive listening and conversation.
I feel she loves me, and I feel I love her.
She is from Philippines originally, has regular contact with her family, siblings, cousins etc.
I believe her plans for future are family care oriented and to be married.
In terms of MB concepts, EN and love busters etc. I have read books a few times. I have two failed marriages and am very keen not to repeat the same mistakes a 3rd time.
She has refused so far to read the books but has actually agreed to do EN questionnaire thing the other day; will be trying to get her engagement with that.
On a plus note yesterday. We had a heart to heart about various stuff and she actually encouraged me to discuss the underlying concerns I had about ex.
This time she listened and seemed to genuinely accept and understand my feelings.
She then offered me complete access to her phone and gave me pin.
This act gave me so much relief and strong feeling for her. I actually have much stronger feeling of confidence in us now.