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Joined: Sep 2010
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Thanks for your support, WDW!

I'm sorry that I'm not familiar with your sitch. I'd love to help you but don't know that I'm comfortable with exchanging emails. I had a development in my own sitch back in January and I was uncomfortable posting on the forum and had inquired if anyone was willing to discuss via email. SugarCane had posted to me and advised that she didn't think it was wise to give and get advice off the forum - that one of the best things about the forums is that all users can see the advice given, and if that advice is not sound then it can be challenged so that you can feel confident you're taking a sound, MB-approved course of action. Heck, Dr. H himself has weighed in on my thread in Recovery! I'm totally not an MD adept or anything so I'd certainly hate to give you advice that could be inconsistent with the principles of MB!

stretch, I'm sorry your WW is still so fogged. She has to lay down that pride. Pride was part of my (many) problems when I went wayward. You can be proud of people, things, accomplishments, but the kind of pride a WS has is that narcissistic pride...the kind that's cocky, that says "I am hot sh*t."

Heh. Sleeping with a man (and I use the term loosely) that was not my H is not exactly something to be proud of now...nor was it then.

I don't know what's going to be her wake-up call, stretch. I hope she gets it before you go Plan B. From what I've read, you are doing an awesome Plan A.


FWW

"Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough." ~ Earl Wilson
Joined: Mar 2011
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Wulffpack girl you are very hard on yourself. I'm wondering would you be able to forgive and extend respect to another person in your situation? I fully believe that all of us , in one way or another, do the wrong thing and take the wrong path often in ways that are not observable to onlookers. If you could find forgivness and give respect to another person why not yourself? By not giving yourself some measure of forgivness you in effect, or puting yourself above other people. Why hold yourself to a standard you might not apply to others. Do you think you are more accountable, more perfect , therefore all the worst for your failure? Its obvious that you are punishing yourself to the extent that it interfers with what ever healing you might achieve if you could accept that you are like all of us. People who come short in so many ways. I read your story and hurt for both you and your husband.

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never, thank you for your post - I have some thoughts and I'm going to address them on my thread, I hope that's OK!


FWW

"Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough." ~ Earl Wilson
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I've already posted one song off my playlist this morning, and wanted to post another.

This is a song for you WW's. You're pining over the OM. You believe his lies, or tell yourself that you do. You're giving him what he wants so that you will feel accepted, loved, and wanted - but the way the OM makes you feel is a lie. You will not be loved for giving the OM what he wants.

And it's for you FWW's, trying to recover your M. You, like me, most likely don't do everything right. You struggle with feelings of failure and worthlessness. Perhaps you realize that the material things in life are meaningless, and that you'd trade "everything for happy ever after."

And I'm posting it also for me, because some days I feel like a distaster. Some days I feel like I'm not good enough, that I never was...I've lost myself, and I need my DH - my one, special person, my happy ever after - to come and take me home. If you ever read this, broken, I still love you.



Jon McLaughlin - "Beautiful Disaster"

she loves her momma's lemonade
hates the sounds that goodbyes make
she prays one day she'll find someone to need her
she swears there's no difference between the lies and compliments
it's all the same if everybody leaves her

and all the magazines tells her she's not good enough
the pictures that she sees makes her cry

she would change everything, everything, just ask her
caught in the in between of beautiful disaster
she just needs someone to take her home

she's giving boys what they want
trying to act so nonchalant
afraid to see that she's lost her direction
she never stays the same for long
assuming that she'll get it wrong
perfect only in her imperfection

she's not a drama queen
she doesn't wanna feel this way
only 17 and tired, yeah

she would change everything for happy ever after
caught in the in between of beautiful disaster
she just needs someone to take her home

she's just the way she is
but no one's told her that's okay

she would change everything, everything, just ask her
caught in the in between of beautiful disaster

she would change everything for happy ever after
caught in the in between of beautiful disaster
she just needs someone to take her home
she just needs someone to take her home


FWW

"Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough." ~ Earl Wilson
Joined: Jan 2022
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Amazing thread! Really hits home when you realize the damage we've done.

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