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Joined: Sep 2022
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OP
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Joined: Sep 2022
Posts: 3 |
What is the recommendation when your spouse, after 16 years of marriage, says that they were never actually ever in love with you? We have 2 kids, and just over 3 weeks ago she told me she had an affair that ended about 4 months ago.
-Brad
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
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What is the recommendation when your spouse, after 16 years of marriage, says that they were never actually ever in love with you? We have 2 kids, and just over 3 weeks ago she told me she had an affair that ended about 4 months ago. Welcome to MB and sorry for what has brought you here. First thing, ask the MODS to move your thread to SAA, because you will get more support. Her saying that is trying to change marital history because she’s in the FOG of the affair and will lie. Who is the OM (other man? Have you exposed the affair? Do you want to save your marriage? How old are your kids?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Sep 2022
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Sep 2022
Posts: 3 |
What is the recommendation when your spouse, after 16 years of marriage, says that they were never actually ever in love with you? We have 2 kids, and just over 3 weeks ago she told me she had an affair that ended about 4 months ago.
-Brad
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Joined: Sep 2022
Posts: 3
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Sep 2022
Posts: 3 |
Thanks! I posted this to SAA. Took me a minute to realize what SAA meant.
To answer your questions. She works with the other man and they are still working in the same organization. Yes, the affair had been exposed to her sister, my parents, my brother and his wife, my personal friend, my supervisor at work, and two of our mutual friends. My wife told me that the other man also told his wife.
I want to save our marriage but my wife is unsure what she wants at this moment.
Our kids are 10 and 9.
Thank you so much for your help and support!
-Brad
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4 |
What is the recommendation when your spouse, after 16 years of marriage, says that they were never actually ever in love with you? We have 2 kids, and just over 3 weeks ago she told me she had an affair that ended about 4 months ago. It sounds like your marriage hasn’t recovered from her affair. Who is the OM (other man)? Do you know if they are in contact still? Where did she meet him? How did she carry on the affair? Have you been tested for STD? Do you want to save your marriage?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4 |
Thanks! I posted this to SAA. Took me a minute to realize what SAA meant.
To answer your questions. She works with the other man and they are still working in the same organization. Yes, the affair had been exposed to her sister, my parents, my brother and his wife, my personal friend, my supervisor at work, and two of our mutual friends. My wife told me that the other man also told his wife.
I want to save our marriage but my wife is unsure what she wants at this moment.
Our kids are 10 and 9.
Thank you so much for your help and support! You need to call and expose it to the OM’s BW. I will link the exposure thread. I’m sorry but you can’t trust that the OM told his BW the truth. Also then both you can keep an eye on both ends if they break NC. Also, if they both still work together then you can’t be sure that the affair has ended. Every time they see or have contact it’s like the affair is back to step one. Please read what Dr. Harley says about exposing to her workplace and to your kids. Has anyone you exposed to talked with your WW and expressed their disappointment? Also you should expose to the OM’s parents.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4 |
Please read Exposure 101Have you told your kids? Also read Exposing to Children
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4
Member
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,438 Likes: 4 |
Also, what about exposing to her parents?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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