SHeryl,<P>Well I have never written this on this board but here goes....<P>I gained about 60lbs in a year. Developed IBS (irritable bowel syndrome), incontinence(sp), developed severe migraines, a big word that means cartalage infection in knee, heel spurs, TMJ, had a mild sezure(sp), thought I had a brain tumor. Terrible ear aches, ringing in the ears, spots in my eyes, etc, etc All these are minor little things, but they were painful and all hit me at once. I couldn't talk to my h, because he already told me I acted like an old dried up women. I still have most of these problems and now I am losing my hair, due to stress. IT is beginning to grow back. Of course I found out about an affair a few months ago~ I was working an awfully stressful job on top of marital problems, then discovery of affair. I was a mess. I remember breaking down and saying those exact words ..I just want OUT! <BR>I look back and think I didn't mean necessarily out of my marriage. But out of the CRAP! I wanted to feel relief. I wanted out of the hellhole I was in! With myself, my health, my job, my kids, my marriage etc .<BR>So ... I started looking for another job, found a house to rent, started doing what I needed to do to FEEL better. You would be amazed what just making a decision will do for you! I made the decision to make it better. Don't really know what happened along the way. My h came around, I was on the verge of losing my job, so I quit. Haven't found another one yet. It has worked out good so far. My point in saying all this, is when I started making decisions, I started feeling better. H still doesn't know a lot of what happened to me, I have probably forgotten some myself. I don't think you really want out of your marriage, you want out of the stress. Get out of it, make a decision. I will tell you when I made the decision to move on, my h came to his senses. Luckily I was receptive to it! Some people get that taste of independance and can't go back. But do this for you, for your sanity! I am so sorry you have gone through what you are going through. I hope whatever you do, it makes you FEEL better. At least for now until your health and sanity is back intact, once that comes back you might can handle not feeling good all the time, which is what it will take to rebuild a marriage.<BR>I wish I could say magical words to help you make up and your mind and go for it. But it must come from within!<BR>M<P>------------------<BR>Mater<P>

I come back and check on my little post and find even more uplifting and caring messages... thank you very much. I agree that I need to get a grip on <B>at least</B> my health. My marriage is gonna have to go on the back burner right now. I have so much on my mind, my heart, my soul... I just can't fit any more thoughts!!!<P>I picked up my Zanax... is that what it's called? For anxiety... hopefully things will feel better soon, at least with my tummy... pray for Thursday, the specialist appt. Boy, we're all a bit of a mess, aren't we...???<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P>

Sheryl,<BR> I was asking GOD to tug back (or your H) YOU MY FRIEND TAKE A NAP so to speak. I'm in a panic state right now. Lots oF ANGER and pain. Thinking of going to plan "B" with my W but might just go to plan F**K-OFF (sorry I told you I had anger : ) HUGS and Prayers FRANK<P>P.S Who loves you baby? WE DO!!<P>------------------<BR>desperate<BR>"If yesterday didn't stop today, Why should TODAY stop tomorrow??" <BR>"Wisdom is why!!"<P>

NB, no advice, just lots of hugs. You have to take care of YOU, before anything can fall into place. I'm not doing so good myself right now, so I'll just say a prayer for both of us.

Sheryl,<P>Put those troubles in a box on the shelf in the closet. Then, don't you wish that someone would come and rob you????<P>Seriously, it is time for a long, long rest. You have been trying too hard, friend. Sit back and concentrate on ANYTHING except your marriage. You and H both need a BIG BREAK from allof htis. You've stressed yourself to the unhealthy state and he's hiding from his problems via the workaholic state.<P>Get some novels from the library or rent some videos with microwave popcorn and just give it ALL a big REST!<P>We are all wishing you peace...<P>Roll Me Away <BR>

Well, I'm back home after a very long day at work... what I need, I think, is truly a break from my life. A BIG BIG BREAK from the everyday... no work, no marriage, no worries.<P>Truly, if I or my H had even $1000 one of us would be gone. <P>I'm working on it, kids, honest I am... trying to decide what turn to take... not a life altering marriage turn, just a "I need a break" turn.<P>Thanks again to all who wrote in support of us... which means all of you!! <P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P>

Sheryl,<P>Sending you a cyber hug and many prayers.<P>It's ok to put your marriage on the back burner. You need to take care of Sheryl. First and foremost. You need to heal.<P>I don't know what to say, except, just let it go. God knows what to do w/ it. God wants you to give it to Him. He'll take care of it all.<P>LOL (that's lots of love!!!)<P>Cheryl

Hey Cheryl with a "C"!!!<P>Good thing you clarified that LOL or I might have thought you were teasing me <P>Hugs <P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P>