My husband and I have been married four months. I found out this weekend. That he cheated. I found out because the young lady made a visit to out home. She said the affair has been ongoing, he said it was only once at the night before we were married. He said he made a conscience decision to sleep with someone before we were married since it was "his last night of freedom". I am hurt by this, but I ham even more hurt by the fact the this woman has been to our home an I had met her on two occasions and was told she had a different name than she really does. I love my husband and I want to work it out. I feel so stupid. I don't know what to do!!!<P>------------------<BR><p>[This message has been edited by egypt (edited August 13, 2001).]

Wow, I'm sorry to hear that he did that to you. I can't believe he would think like that and do that to you. I would tell him that you love him first of all and tell him how you feel, be honest and upfront about it all. Ask him if you can both go to counseling about this to over come it all. You should tell him in order to make this marriage work or give this marriage a chance, all ties have to be cut off with this woman he had an affair with. You should read the book called "Surviving the Affair".<BR>Another thing, is if that woman comes to your house again tell her you don't want to talk to her and that you will call the police if she stays and get a restraining order put on her so that she can't come to the house anymore.<BR>I think your husband might not be being truthful to you about the whole situation of it being just one night. Not if this woman is coming to your house a lot. I think this has been going on for awhile and now she wants him all to herself and that is why she is coming over to your house telling you things.<BR>The very first thing I would do seek some counseling and make sure you both go together.<BR>I'm very sorry you have to go through this, the first couple of months after a wedding should be filled with joy and love not what you are going through.<BR>Hang in there, I will pray for you and your husband. Please keep me posted on how things go.

i would not want to be with a man let alone married to one who decided he would sleep with another women for his "last night of freedom"<P>if this man truly loves you he would not have done this<P>there is one thing i will not tolerate and that is cheating whether married or not

whoa! first off he's not showing much respect for u if he's bringing her in ur home . if my husband did that hed come home to a new door lock. but yeah if u plan on staying with him u definitly need counseling and him to come clean on how long its been goin on. then decide what u want to do. if he doesnt agreeto counseling then id rethink ur relationship cuz it sounds like he did and decided it wasnt enough. sry if i sound rude i truly dont mean to its just that ive nown alot of couples that have accepted cheaters back just to find out 2mos or a year down the road they do it again