Wow, apparently this topic is not a hot one!! I've got a question, for anyone who might be out there listening. How can I "creatively" show affection to my H who is in withdrawal and has moved out? I only see him about once a week, but Steve has told me to send cards about once a week and make a call or two just to see "how he's doing." Any other ideas?<P>Thanks,<BR>KristyAnn

KristyAnn,<BR>I am no expert. My wife is just now contemplating leaving me for her lover, so we are in different places. However, I find that poetry is frequently more effective in communicating to her than just a note. I send a letter once a week from my office to her at home. Sometimes its something original by me, sometimes its something from a song (You fill up my senses by John denver, Wonderful TOnight by Clapton). I don't speak to her about what I've sent. But she keeps them all together and carries them with her. I know they mean alot to her. Maybe something like this will help you.

KristyAnn,<P>I have a similar problem with my ex-husband that I am trying to get back together with. <BR>We both grew up in homes that did not show physical affection. Throughout our 7 year marriage (13 year relationship), we enjoyed sex but there wasn't a lot of affection. After the divorce and while trying to get back together with me, he dated someone that showed a lot of physical affection and he realized that he enjoyed returning her affection. Their relationship has recently ended when he moved in with me and she started to date someone else. I recently found out about her from him. I feel betrayed and hurt, but I want to work on our relationship. He is in withdrawal from losing her and plans to move out. I try to show him affection, but I am having a hard time. He says it "feels fake". I will try to send a letter/card once a week, but any other suggestions would be appreciated. What else can I do while we still live in the same house?<P>------------------<BR>Jennidy

Have you ever read "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman? It is a really good book about how different people respond to different types of expressions of love. I really like it. Good luck.

I have been placing candy in my wifes purse and have wrote some poetry. Nothing really seems to have an affect but I keep trying any how.<P>We are still in the same house together so I keep trying<P>She won't let me kiss her and touch is definitely out of the question. So I try to be nice and do loving things. This is tough at times but I continue to try!<P>I like idea of cards!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jennidy:<BR><B>KristyAnn,<P>I have a similar problem with my ex-husband that I am trying to get back together with. <BR>We both grew up in homes that did not show physical affection. Throughout our 7 year marriage (13 year relationship), we enjoyed sex but there wasn't a lot of affection. After the divorce and while trying to get back together with me, he dated someone that showed a lot of physical affection and he realized that he enjoyed returning her affection. Their relationship has recently ended when he moved in with me and she started to date someone else. I recently found out about her from him. I feel betrayed and hurt, but I want to work on our relationship. He is in withdrawal from losing her and plans to move out. I try to show him affection, but I am having a hard time. He says it "feels fake". I will try to send a letter/card once a week, but any other suggestions would be appreciated. What else can I do while we still live in the same house?<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>I think if you can do this,tell him that you didn't grow up with a lot of affection, and you would like him to show you what he means. If you can be sincere, I think he would do this, and then it can be the start of feeling closer. <BR>